About Jordano4444 : r@t¢h3t.
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Jordano4444's favorite FMLs
Today, I woke up to a very unpleasant feeling. Apparently, the tattoo I got on my arm a couple of days ago attracted hundreds of ants during its healing process. They were literally carrying away pieces of my skin. I can not get the feeling or image out of my head. FML
by aly55a_mariie / 08/20/2013 at 3:04pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/12/2013 at 1:24am / United States (Maine) / Transportation
Today, my 15-year-old daughter's pregnancy test came back positive. I wanted to know who the father is, so I could sit the two of them down to talk the situation through with them. She isn't sure if it's her best friend, or our neighbor's son. FML
by Anonymous / 07/12/2013 at 1:19am / United States (California) / Kids
by yayme. / 07/11/2013 at 6:26pm / United States (North Dakota) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/11/2013 at 3:09pm / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/11/2013 at 1:08pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by vet1 / 07/11/2013 at 11:18am / South Africa (Gauteng) / Work
Today, my 13-year-old daughter and I went to a tropical themed restaurant. She wanted a strawberry Daiquiri, so I asked the waitress for a virgin strawberry Daiquiri. My daughter then said, "But dad, I'm not a virgin." FML
by Anonymous / 07/11/2013 at 10:24am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I was teasing my 6-year-old sister about having a boyfriend. I asked her, "Did he take his shirt off?" She promptly said no. A few minutes later, she said, "But he did take his pants off." I then asked why. She said, "To show me his penis." FML
by joe / 06/23/2013 at 7:36pm / United States (Maryland) / Kids
by o_O / 06/23/2013 at 1:26pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/19/2013 at 12:12pm / United States (New York) / Kids
Today, my sister came to stay with me in my apartment for the last few weeks of her difficult pregnancy. However she didn't tell me she was bringing her two dogs, her jackass of a husband, my bratty nephew and an inflatable kiddie pool so she could have a natural water birth in my living room. FML
by Anonymous / 06/18/2013 at 6:48pm / United States (New York) / Kids
Today, after finally seeing a psychologist about the death of my dad and spending the longest hour of my life confessing every thought I've experienced in the 6 years since his passing, my psychologist asked me if I was walking home or if my dad would be picking me up. FML
by irishbubble / 06/04/2013 at 8:35am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health
by tinypenis / 06/04/2013 at 8:15am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/03/2013 at 4:55pm / France (Aquitaine) / Love
- Today, I truly understood that I was in Germany when, in my workplace, during our lunch break, one… Today, I’m in Sweden. This morning, I went out to get the mail in my pajamas. Well, it doesn’t only… Today, I told my son off because he lost a form. A form that I later found in my right-hand pocket.…