Jonny_Blaze0017

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Offline (the 04/16/2016 at 9:24am)

Jonny_Blaze0017

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 3 October 1993 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 9993
  • Number of comments : 35
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Jonny_Blaze0017 : Laughter is healing, so make sure you have an outlet to relieve stress


Jonny_Blaze0017's page activity

Visits<b>kristihek10</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 4:53pm<b>bigwell</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 9:29pm<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 6:37pm<b>mf727hihi</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 3:00pm<b>orios105</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 1:24am<b>ohmissjane</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 5:29am<b>afisxfallxchild</b> - the 12/21/2015 at 1:54pm<b>jet223</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 8:57pm<b>Toonice45</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 11:03pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 1:10pm<b>TrippingOnAcid</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 4:15pm<b>Idekanymore123</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 7:05pm<b>CREA</b> - the 09/30/2015 at 8:14pm<b>AyeTee77</b> - the 09/04/2015 at 1:30am<b>jjeffriesftw</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 6:06pm<b>Giraffalopagus</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 7:16am<b>lovebugs7204</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 11:53am<b>BlackFire4890</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 11:22pm

Fucked!<b>jjeffriesftw</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 12:06am

Jonny_Blaze0017's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

See all of Jonny_Blaze0017's badges

Jonny_Blaze0017's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my grandmother what she looked like when she was young. She casually replied, "I was ugly, sweetie. Just like you." FML

by Anonymous / 03/07/2014 at 1:25pm / Philippines (Quezon City) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in my Honors English class. I sneezed very loudly while my teacher was giving a lecture. I had the genius idea to say, "Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit." FML

Today, a guy from work that I barely know gave me sunflowers for my birthday. He told me, "You mentioned they were your favorite." I mentioned it to my family at home a few days ago. FML

by You Are My Sunshine / 02/23/2014 at 11:18pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was shopping, when a man pointed at me and said to his friend, "Her. She's the one." He replied, "Yes, she'll do fine." I'm scared. FML

Today, I walked into my apartment and smelled something extremely repugnant. I asked my roommate what had happened and she said, "I didn't know how else to kill it!" She'd trapped a bat that was in our apartment, put it in the oven, and set it to 400 degrees. FML

by BakedBat / 02/20/2014 at 11:10pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, my house is on lockdown. I recently moved to Georgia from Rhode Island to be with my boyfriend. The state is on high alert for an ice storm. I'm stuck inside with my terrified boyfriend, who's calling it "the storm of the century". I used to walk to school in this weather. FML

by Stuck / 02/12/2014 at 1:25pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I decided to ask the guy I like if he'll be my Valentine. I wrote the question on a piece of paper and passed it to him, trying to be cute. He read it, wrote his answer with a smile, and passed it back. It said, "Depends, do you swallow?" No, no I don't. FML

by mariana / 02/07/2014 at 7:18pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, my girlfriend and I were quite drunk while we were fooling around on the couch, when I decided I wanted to lose my virginity to her. I was two thrusts in when she burst out laughing. Looking down, I realized I was between her cheeks and the couch cushion. I lost my virginity to her couch. FML

by Unknown / 02/07/2014 at 9:18am / United States (Iowa) / Intimacy

Today, I had an upset stomach all day at work. When lunch break came, I rushed to the bathroom. Just as I turned into an unstoppable human whoopie cushion, a co-worker walked in. He heard the entire arse symphony, and just asked "What the fuck, dude?!" as he left. FML

by Anonymous / 01/30/2014 at 5:46pm / United Kingdom (Lancashire) / Work

Today, my daughter hugged me around the neck and whispered, "I'm going to cut your head off." I'm afraid to go to sleep now. FML

by Anonymous / 01/28/2014 at 4:57pm / Bahrain (Al Manamah) / Kids

Today, I watched my father attempt to light a cigar with the stove and end up burning off some hair and eyebrows. He tried to play it cool, said, "Haircuts are too expensive these days anyway." and walked out, his head smoking. This man is a college professor. FML

Today, I walked in on my daughter lighting candles around one of her friends, who'd fallen asleep while her other friends chanted something in a different language. They still won't tell me what they were doing. FML

by Anonymous / 12/22/2013 at 10:36am / United States / Kids

Today, a kid from my school called me, saying he's going on vacation to Japan soon and that since I was born there, I could teach him the language. His exact words at the start of the call were: "Hey man, you speak Asian, right?" I have to be around this shithead 5 days a week. FML

by bnc / 12/14/2013 at 5:39pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, while waiting in the queue at a supermarket checkout, my three-year-old daughter yells out, "Mom! Mom! Is that a man or a lady in front?" Embarrassed, I reply, "Honey, can't you see that it's a... it's a... a..." FML

by [...] / 12/12/2013 at 9:28am / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend let me be the first one to read the novel he dropped out of college to write. Turns out it's titled "A Brief History of Ass" and is an incoherent ramble about every time we've had anal sex. FML

by Anonymous / 12/11/2013 at 7:51pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy