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Jonny_Blaze0017

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Jonny_Blaze0017
  • Town/Country : Atlanta, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 3 October 1993 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 367
  • Number of comments : 27
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Jonny_Blaze0017's favorite FMLs

Today, my sister's boyfriend called while she was out. The second I answered he tried to have phone sex with me. When I explained to him that I wasn't my sister and that we just sound the same on the phone, he replied, "Don't care, let's keep going." FML

#20484366
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34751) - you deserved it (2330)

On 01/29/2013 at 4:40am - intimacy - by Awkward... (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I took a taxi ride with my friends. As we were getting out, I paid the taxi driver. With a grin, he drove away fast. It turns out my friend had already paid. FML

#20475292
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23748) - you deserved it (6125)

On 01/23/2013 at 6:33pm - money - by stevenr579 (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was cleaning at work when an elderly gentleman walked towards me, paused, and with a wink said, "That's what I like to see: a girl on her knees." This is the same workplace where another old man informed me that my yellow uniform made me look like a "suggestive cheesecake." FML

#20472773
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25118) - you deserved it (1737)

On 01/22/2013 at 6:14am - work - by Job Seeking (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I dragged my boyfriend to see Les Misérables with me. He now refuses to communicate with me through any medium other than singing. Apparently, this is his revenge. FML

#20471580
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11682) - you deserved it (33784)

On 01/21/2013 at 4:39pm - love - by lesson.learned (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, while on the bus, the guy sitting beside me let out the vilest and most nauseating fart I've ever encountered, the kind that could retroactively sterilize five generations of one's ancestors with the smell alone. As I gagged, he smirked and said, "That's Taco Bell for ya." FML

#20466884
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29567) - you deserved it (2564)

On 01/18/2013 at 8:32pm - misc - by methane overload (man) - United States

Today, I went to a family dinner. My grandma wasted no time calling me a slut for not wearing a dress, my dad called my police officer boyfriend a "fucking pig", and then he told my mother to "put a cock in it" when she defended me. No wonder I hardly ever visit these people. FML

#20466682
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31936) - you deserved it (1621)

On 01/18/2013 at 6:18pm - misc - by mel (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my husband sent me a text before heading home from work. All it said was, "Need a fuck. Backed up to hell. You're about to shower face first in a fire hydrant." Love you too, hun. FML

#20466497
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22401) - you deserved it (3265)

On 01/18/2013 at 3:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I held a door open for a sweet old lady with a walker. After she went through the door, she turned and said, "That's not how you're gonna get into my pants, son." FML

#20466086
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29480) - you deserved it (2732)

On 01/18/2013 at 10:25am - misc - by Keastwood013 - United States

Today, I came home to find my girlfriend crying. Concerned, I quickly asked her what was wrong. She told me tearfully that she couldn't understand why her pet lizards hadn’t grown into dinosaurs yet, and that pet store had cheated her. I’m still concerned now, but for entirely different reasons. FML

#20462136
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31238) - you deserved it (3356)

On 01/16/2013 at 2:52am - misc - by WTF (man) -

Today, I learned my neighbor can access my wireless printer from his house after it started printing off pictures of what I'm assuming is his penis. FML

#20461046
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34046) - you deserved it (6065)

On 01/15/2013 at 4:58pm - intimacy - by itsrathersmall (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, while I was having sex, he stopped, looked at me all seriously and said, "Permission to climax, ma'am?" FML

#20458937
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34030) - you deserved it (6526)

On 01/14/2013 at 12:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, both my brother and sister missed my wedding. She was playing in a Call of Duty tournament, and he got so high that he forgot about the wedding completely. He was my best man. FML

#20458912
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40628) - you deserved it (2332)

On 01/14/2013 at 12:36pm - misc - by What a happy day (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my dad was helping me move my stuff out. I'd asked my boyfriend to deal with my sex toys and lingerie, but still my dad showed up later at my new place, handed me a box full of them all, and simply said, "I don't want to know." FML

#20454623
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14139) - you deserved it (23708)

On 01/12/2013 at 12:11am - intimacy - by nean83 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I caught my boyfriend wearing yoga pants and taking pictures of his butt to post on a "Girls in yoga pants" site. He saw my expression and said, "Nah, it's cool, I hid my junk so they'll think it's a chick!" FML

#20451178
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30631) - you deserved it (664)

On 01/10/2013 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Amy (woman) - United States

Today, my son sprayed Axe body-spray all over the house in the vain hope of covering up the scent of the joints he'd been smoking. FML

#20446338
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21444) - you deserved it (3357)

On 01/07/2013 at 3:01pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)



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