Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Jonny_Blaze0017

Online | Search for a member

Jonny_Blaze0017

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2905
  • Number of comments : 35
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Jonny_Blaze0017 : Life is a gift; that must be why we live in the present
Also- remember to laugh every once in awhile


P.S.- I'm not the one on the left

Jonny_Blaze0017's page activity

Visits<b>da_best_eva</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 8:30pm<b>sar135</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 8:16am<b>msmama1985</b> - the 05/02/2014 at 7:42pm<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 10:55pm<b>OysterPearls</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 2:48am<b>teotsi</b> - the 04/04/2014 at 2:34pm<b>Reggaman</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 6:36am<b>vickypumkin</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 6:33am<b>sdroze1389</b> - the 02/05/2014 at 10:15am<b>username71</b> - the 12/29/2013 at 11:28pm<b>Palindromesque</b> - the 12/17/2013 at 6:31am<b>i_love_him_</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 4:48pm<b>miiapaige</b> - the 11/23/2013 at 10:20pm<b>xXNerrrdXx</b> - the 11/23/2013 at 1:21am<b>omgbrainZ</b> - the 11/22/2013 at 2:45pm<b>Afroninja4566</b> - the 11/20/2013 at 6:03am<b>0void0</b> - the 11/18/2013 at 7:23am<b>dieselfreak123</b> - the 11/17/2013 at 10:06pm

Jonny_Blaze0017's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of Jonny_Blaze0017's badges

Jonny_Blaze0017's favorite FMLs

Today, I was in the hospital with rib injuries after being rear-ended by a truck. The doc said, "Well, you'll probably feel like you've been hit by a truck for a while." Everyone laughed, except me. When I said he was being insensitive, he replied, "Calm down, I'm just ribbing you." FML

#19633356
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14880) - you deserved it (27554)

On 05/16/2012 at 6:29pm - health - by ...... (man) - United States

Today, I started the job of my dreams. Our first marketing meeting was an in-depth analysis of the phrase, "Haters gonna hate, potatoes gonna potate". I have a 5 year contract. FML

#19611170
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19701) - you deserved it (3979)

On 05/12/2012 at 10:36am - work - by picklet (woman) - Malaysia (Negeri Sembilan)

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he would still love me if I became a vegetable. His response: "Well, the sex wouldn't be any different." FML

#19591291
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16423) - you deserved it (30007)

On 05/08/2012 at 7:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I got a parking ticket while I was in the car. I didn't even notice it happen. Ninja cops do exist. FML

#19589899
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21404) - you deserved it (6022)

On 05/07/2012 at 10:52pm - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out why teenage boys have "Keep out" and "Please knock" signs on their bedroom doors. FML

#19305643
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10140) - you deserved it (46648)

On 03/19/2012 at 1:49am - intimacy - by ari - United States

Today, my doctor booked me in for an STD test. I was feeling confident until he explained it will involve having a catheter inserted into my piss pipe. He shook his head sadly and said: "Gonna be honest, Steve, the pain's beyond belief." Great. FML

#19284993
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27329) - you deserved it (4911)

On 03/15/2012 at 9:18pm - intimacy - by 0stvn0 (man) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She said it's a good thing, because it was a "mutual decision", and that while she wouldn't mind staying together, I was the one who wanted to split, and she respected my decision. I wish I had been a part of this delusional conversation. FML

#19281871
93 comments

Today, I was shopping for tampons when a cute guy came over and gave me his number. He said, "Call me in 3 to 5 days." FML

#19263580
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34812) - you deserved it (5448)

On 03/12/2012 at 9:11am - misc - by Tristansefam1367 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I watched Gigli. FML

#19259305
265 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7677) - you deserved it (24806)

On 03/11/2012 at 7:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I told my fiancé I wanted to hear something romantic. He said, "My dick loves your mouth." I guess that's as good as it's going to get. FML

#19231360
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25838) - you deserved it (6105)

On 03/07/2012 at 1:16am - intimacy - by Sharibabi65 (woman) - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were watching TV, I asked him if he loved me. He turned up the volume. FML

#19131070
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26642) - you deserved it (6304)

On 02/21/2012 at 1:03pm - love - by Djcc - United States

Today, the pervert in my computer class asked me if I "mowed my lawn." Not knowing this was a vaguely sexual term, I replied, "No, my dad does." FML

#18983166
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42071) - you deserved it (9131)

On 02/03/2012 at 9:47am - intimacy - by xX_nsn_Xx (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mother yelled at me for standing too close to the microwave. Her reason? The radiation was going to seep through, kill my sperm and cause cancer. FML

#18956163
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19727) - you deserved it (4530)

On 01/30/2012 at 9:34pm - misc - by dumb mother (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to explain to my husband why putting on dirty underwear after a shower defeats the purpose. We had this discussion in the middle of me giving him head. FML

#18858383
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27201) - you deserved it (8395)

On 01/20/2012 at 12:02am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, after sex, my boyfriend turned to me and said, "You know, sometimes, you look like Kevin Spacey." FML

#18832495
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24384) - you deserved it (3196)

On 01/17/2012 at 3:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Libyan Arab Jamahiriya



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: