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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 3 October 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 11484
  • Number of comments : 40
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Jonny_Blaze0017 : Laughter is healing, so make sure you have an outlet to relieve stress

Jonny_Blaze0017's page activity

Visits<b>thisisnotused</b> - the 06/26/2016 at 4:30pm<b>ciaraash</b> - the 06/17/2016 at 5:52pm<b>ChiefRK</b> - the 06/15/2016 at 6:05pm<b>18emikot</b> - the 06/14/2016 at 8:30pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 06/14/2016 at 6:32pm<b>doge5</b> - the 06/14/2016 at 5:10pm<b>turtlefreak23</b> - the 06/14/2016 at 4:18pm<b>crudeandrudeguy</b> - the 06/14/2016 at 4:02pm<b>rfish14</b> - the 06/14/2016 at 1:49pm<b>OlRed</b> - the 06/14/2016 at 1:25pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 06/12/2016 at 11:53am<b>kristihek10</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 4:53pm<b>bigwell</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 9:29pm<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 6:37pm<b>mf727hihi</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 3:00pm<b>orios105</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 1:24am<b>ohmissjane</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 5:29am<b>afisxfallxchild</b> - the 12/21/2015 at 1:54pm

Fucked!<b>jjeffriesftw</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 12:06am

Jonny_Blaze0017's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!


You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of Jonny_Blaze0017's badges

Jonny_Blaze0017's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that the nice guy who comes to my workplace every morning to bring me a smoothie also makes a point of putting his knob in it before giving it to me. Also, all my coworkers knew about this and think it's hilarious. FML

by littledipper / 09/24/2013 at 11:51pm / United States (New York) / Work

Today, it's my birthday. I don't mind crappy gifts, but I have to wonder why the hell my boyfriend bought me a home enema kit. FML

by Anonymous / 09/21/2013 at 2:10pm / United States / Love

Today, my doctor asked me to undo my bra so he could check my breathing without the straps restricting my lungs, I got home and told my friends how awkward it was. Not one of them has had this happen to them before. We all go to the same doctor. FML

by chestycough / 09/16/2013 at 12:35am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, my 16-year-old cousin came to visit for the week. So far, she's said "raunchy", "cray-cray", "legit", and "like" an uncountable number of times. She's only been here for a half hour. FML

by Anonymous / 09/14/2013 at 5:51pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to my boyfriend's apartment for the first time, only to see another girl walking out. I accused her of cheating with him and we got into a fight. Turns out I was at the wrong apartment. He lives next door. FML

by 181999 / 09/14/2013 at 4:47pm / United States (Vermont) / Love

Today, I went to the movies with my husband and our 6-year-old son. My husband kept stealing popcorn from the guy next to him, to the point where the guy punched him in the face. The movie was stopped, the police were called, and my son is now inconsolable. FML

by Anonymous / 09/14/2013 at 3:32pm / Iceland (Gullbringusysla) / Miscellaneous

Today, as if to prove that there is no end to the unspeakable stupidity of the human race, a patient was brought into my hospital, needing a cellphone removed from his anus. FML

by Anonymous / 09/08/2013 at 12:38pm / Switzerland (Bern) / Work

Today, I had my first date in almost four years. Twenty minutes into our dinner date, I excused myself to use the ladies room. When I came back, not only was he gone, but there was also a security guard waiting to walk me out. I still have no clue why he left or why I got kicked out. FML

by thissinglelife / 09/06/2013 at 2:42am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I found out that my obese son, who is on a health-mandated diet and exercise plan, gorges on junk food whenever he has the chance. His logic? "It won't make you fatter if you crap it out." FML

by Anonymous / 09/02/2013 at 12:16am / United States (Nevada) / Health

Today, while training a new employee, I had to run after a naked guy chasing a hooker at the hotel I work at. I made him go back to his room, while she offered me a good time for 300 bucks. The trainee left and hasn't come back yet. FML

by Awkward / 08/22/2013 at 7:50pm / United States / Work

Today, I was playing Charades with my boyfriend's family. When it was his turn, he pointed at me. His mother said "Bitch?" The answer was "relationship". FML

by Embarrassed / 08/22/2013 at 12:40am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, I walked in on my brother smoking weed. He immediately tried to hide it by dropping it down his pants, still lit. Screaming in pain, he pulled down his pants. The ashes burned his knob. I had to take him to the emergency room. FML

by bluerhhajfk / 08/19/2013 at 7:29pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went on a new medicine. One of the listed side-effects was "anal seepage" and I spent the better part of the day laughing with my coworkers about how it's "not a real side-effect". I found out that it really is while stuck in bumper-to-bumper traffic on the way home. FML

by stinky car / 08/15/2013 at 11:18pm / United States (Alabama) / Health

Today, my mom came into my room to give me a goodbye kiss. Due to the routine of my girlfriend doing the exact same thing in the exact same spot, I held the kiss way longer than what a mother/son kiss should last. My mom actually had to tell me to "let go". FML

by deadman / 08/15/2013 at 9:06pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was visiting my cousin's farm. Going out for a morning stroll, I took an apple with me to munch along the way. As I was eating it, I heard a distant thumping sound and was suddenly slammed into the ground. When I looked up, a horse was eating my apple. I got mugged by a horse. FML

by Anonymous / 08/14/2013 at 5:11am / United States (Florida) / Animals