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Jonny_Blaze0017

Offline (17 hours ago) | Search for a member

Jonny_Blaze0017

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4535
  • Number of comments : 35
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Jonny_Blaze0017 : Life is a gift; that must be why we live in the present
Also- remember to laugh every once in awhile


P.S.- I'm not the one on the left

Jonny_Blaze0017's page activity

Visits<b>andiiibandiii526</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 12:23pm<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 1:07pm<b>shaar</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 3:24am<b>Welshite</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 11:06pm<b>jack_jill05</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 9:53am<b>da_best_eva</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 8:30pm<b>sar135</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 8:16am<b>msmama1985</b> - the 05/02/2014 at 7:42pm<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 10:55pm<b>OysterPearls</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 2:48am<b>teotsi</b> - the 04/04/2014 at 2:34pm<b>Reggaman</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 6:36am<b>vickypumkin</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 6:33am<b>sdroze1389</b> - the 02/05/2014 at 10:15am<b>username71</b> - the 12/29/2013 at 11:28pm<b>Palindromesque</b> - the 12/17/2013 at 6:31am<b>i_love_him_</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 4:48pm<b>miiapaige</b> - the 11/23/2013 at 10:20pm

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Jonny_Blaze0017's favorite FMLs

Today, as a recruiter, I had an interview with a promising candidate for an open position at my company. The interview was going well until the candidate interrupted me halfway through to take a selfie. FML

#21187434
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43970) - you deserved it (3993)

On 06/25/2014 at 1:10am - work - by Sam - United States (California)

Today, I got the same feeling in my chest when I orgasmed as when I hit a hard section in Guitar Hero. FML

#21187067
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36863) - you deserved it (7446)

On 06/24/2014 at 8:07pm - intimacy - by massachusettsan (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I looked at my bank balance. It read $1.23. That's higher than it usually is. FML

#21185584
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42224) - you deserved it (8079)

On 06/23/2014 at 5:26pm - money - by amused (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out I have genital herpes. I'm a virgin. FML

#21181955
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54092) - you deserved it (5291)

On 06/20/2014 at 2:20pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was feeling unappreciated and asked my boyfriend if he loves me. He faltered and replied, "Uh, my dick does." FML

#21180513
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46008) - you deserved it (7672)

On 06/19/2014 at 10:33am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML

#21179512
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52451) - you deserved it (4609)

On 06/18/2014 at 3:06pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I sent my girlfriend a request to confirm our relationship on Facebook. She accepted, then changed her screen name into "His Hand". FML

#21169063
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51709) - you deserved it (11300)

On 06/10/2014 at 12:02am - love - by MiserableMan (man) - Vietnam (Ho Chi Minh)

Today, I was playing some soccer with my buddies, when a kid came over, yelled "CUP CHECK!" and nailed me in the nuts then ran away laughing. Millions of my unborn children died in agony. All his fatass mom did was chuckle nervously and pat her satan-spawn on the head. FML

#21166299
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48089) - you deserved it (4884)

On 06/07/2014 at 5:16pm - health - by wish his dad had worn one (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I clogged my girlfriend's toilet, so being a gentleman, I tried to rectify the situation. I plunged the holy fuck out of that damned toilet, only for her to accuse me of jacking off because I was taking so long. When she stormed in and the smell hit her, she called me a pig. I just can't win. FML

#21159437
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47381) - you deserved it (5006)

On 06/01/2014 at 2:34pm - misc - by shart up, your puns suck (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, after a long day at work, I was starving, so I stopped by the drive-through for something to eat. When I got home and hurriedly opened the bag, all I found inside was napkins. Thanks, McDonald's. FML

#21136073
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42568) - you deserved it (10286)

On 05/10/2014 at 9:34pm - work - by can't eat paper - United States

Today, it's five days until my wedding and I still can't tell my bride apart from her twin sister. They share clothes, have the same haircut, and they even take turns flirting with me to "catch me off guard" because they think it's hilarious to trick me. I'm scared I'll marry the wrong one. FML

#21133982
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63811) - you deserved it (8104)

On 05/08/2014 at 9:55am - love - by STOP (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while I was making dinner, my husband argued that our new dog has intelligence issues, and we should give him away. I angrily defended the poor thing, and had almost won, until the dog walked over and licked the inside of the hot oven door. FML

#21126864
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42494) - you deserved it (5552)

On 04/30/2014 at 1:17am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex and in the heat of the moment I cried out for him to go harder. He had an exasperated expression on his face, and in an adamantly offended tone he said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he stopped and left the room. FML

#21115855
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58313) - you deserved it (8273)

On 04/17/2014 at 10:27pm - intimacy - by belljars (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I watched a drunk guy getting thrown out of a bar, then get tased on the sidewalk outside. He was our designated driver. FML

#21110183
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38850) - you deserved it (5413)

On 04/11/2014 at 9:48am - misc - by brodinn (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my neighbor asked to come over and use my laptop. She showed up drunk, grabbed my boobs, and asked if I'd ever had a lesbian experience. We both have husbands and kids; the kids were in the room. FML

#21109873
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49827) - you deserved it (4856)

On 04/10/2014 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by freakedout (woman) - United States (Kentucky)



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