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Jonny_Blaze0017

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Jonny_Blaze0017

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 3 October 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 7937
  • Number of comments : 35
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Jonny_Blaze0017 : Life is a gift; that must be why we live in the present
Also- remember to laugh every once in awhile


Jonny_Blaze0017's page activity

Visits<b>catherine012</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 2:31pm<b>Giraffalopagus</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 7:16am<b>lovebugs7204</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 11:53am<b>BlackFire4890</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 11:22pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 1:10pm<b>rebelsrock</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 8:30pm<b>pkts11</b> - the 12/30/2014 at 12:03pm<b>Fierce_Cat_</b> - the 12/24/2014 at 11:48am<b>andiiibandiii526</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 12:23pm<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 1:07pm<b>shaar</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 3:24am<b>Welshite</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 11:06pm<b>jack_jill05</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 9:53am<b>da_best_eva</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 8:30pm<b>sar135</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 8:16am<b>msmama1985</b> - the 05/02/2014 at 7:42pm<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 10:55pm<b>OysterPearls</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 2:48am

Jonny_Blaze0017's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of Jonny_Blaze0017's badges

Jonny_Blaze0017's favorite FMLs

Today, I left my dog in my car for 5 minutes while I ran into a store. The car was running so he was fine, the thing that wasn't so fine is that when I walked out my car wasn't there. My dog somehow moved my car into the middle of a intersection, almost causing an accident. FML

#21430717
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19713) - you deserved it (16508)

On 06/23/2015 at 4:00pm - animals - by ej6901 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I told my boyfriend I was horny and was waiting for him at my place. 30 minutes later, he still hadn't arrived, so I called him and asked if he was coming. He replied "Already did, right into a kleenex." and hung up. FML

#21420621
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28790) - you deserved it (3592)

On 06/04/2015 at 8:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I walked in on my roommate with her ass cheeks spread wide, and her friend ripping a strip of wax off of her while wearing a headlamp flashlight to see if she "got it all". FML

#21420563
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30134) - you deserved it (3295)

On 06/04/2015 at 3:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while going for a walk, I saw two bunnies next to the road. Apparently, I was scarier than the oncoming traffic, because one of them decided to sprint into the road as I walked by. I could hear its bones crunch as it got hit by a car. FML

#21420534
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26563) - you deserved it (2464)

On 06/04/2015 at 1:17am - animals - by avatarnicole9 (woman) - Canada

Today, my District Manager was impressed by all the appointments in my upcoming calendar. Bubbling with pride, I blurted out "Oh, I just love to have all my slots filled!" The awkward silence was only broken by "That's what she said!" from the next cubicle. FML

#21420435
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24569) - you deserved it (4897)

On 06/03/2015 at 9:59pm - work - by officeditz - United States (Florida)

Today, my dog was knocked unconscious. I had to race him to the vet and pay a small fortune for x-rays and shots. All because he ran into the kitchen at full speed and smashed headfirst into the refrigerator after hearing me open a bag of turkey. FML

Today, my father passed away. I called my boss to let him know about the situation. His only response before hanging up: "Shit, dude. Well, I'll see you in the morning, these reports won't write themselves." FML

#21414400
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31343) - you deserved it (1670)

On 05/23/2015 at 10:50am - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I checked my son's browser history, as he's been acting strangely around his computer recently. I found several bizarre Google searches, including but not limited to: "unicorn dick-farts", "sharting kittens", and "can you get AIDS from Asians?" What the fuck is wrong with him? FML

#21414033
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27716) - you deserved it (4552)

On 05/22/2015 at 2:17pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Havering)

Today, my boyfriend decided to suddenly stop in the middle of sex, just as I was actually starting to enjoy myself, just to bear hug me and exclaim, "Crikey, she's angry!" in the voice of Steve Irwin. He laughed so hard at his own joke that he went soft and couldn't continue. FML

#21410853
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30514) - you deserved it (2785)

On 05/16/2015 at 5:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Aberdeen City)

Today, I had to say to my 23-year-old son that it's not a compliment to tell a woman that he wants to jam his cock down her throat. FML

#21405973
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32227) - you deserved it (4346)

On 05/06/2015 at 11:27pm - intimacy - by dadoftheyear (man) - United States

Today, I pulled a piece of dental floss out of my ass. How it got there is one of life's great mysteries. FML

#21403757
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31506) - you deserved it (4632)

On 05/03/2015 at 3:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I read my 10-year-old sister's diary. That's how I found out about her disturbingly detailed plan to murder me, make it look like suicide, date my boyfriend after helping him get over my death, then marry him. FML

#21395572
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38840) - you deserved it (5031)

On 04/18/2015 at 3:01am - kids - by Anonymus (woman) - Sweden

Today, as I was walking to work, a cyclist shot out of nowhere and slammed into me. I hit the ground hard and lay there in agony. The guy quickly dusted himself off, said "Sorry man. It's a vicious cycle." then chuckled at his own stupid pun and cycled away. FML

#21387543
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31963) - you deserved it (2502)

On 04/04/2015 at 1:32pm - health - by fuck right off (man) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)

Today, while cleaning my son's room, I found an envelope labelled "PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL" under his bed. I opened it, only to find it was a glitter bomb. I couldn't get it all cleaned off myself before he got home. He just said "HAH! Serves you right!" and went to his room smirking. FML

#21365242
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18782) - you deserved it (55549)

On 02/28/2015 at 1:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)



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