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Offline (the 11/30/2016 at 12:23pm)



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  • Number of visits : 8672
  • Number of comments : 683
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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Jonkbaby's page activity

Visits<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 11/29/2016 at 11:42am<b>Cabodamn</b> - the 09/11/2016 at 11:03pm<b>Fennex3</b> - the 09/10/2016 at 11:01pm<b>LOL_Master_3000</b> - the 09/03/2016 at 5:44pm<b>kyramarie123</b> - the 08/30/2016 at 7:55pm<b>Vitani_Verci</b> - the 08/30/2016 at 3:00pm<b>csjc</b> - the 08/30/2016 at 9:52am<b>Mons</b> - the 08/29/2016 at 12:57pm<b>chrisbeaudoin</b> - the 08/28/2016 at 10:02am<b>plmoto</b> - the 08/28/2016 at 7:03am<b>sexymomo1234</b> - the 08/28/2016 at 5:49am<b>lemonintheft</b> - the 08/27/2016 at 2:58pm<b>Y0UI34574RD</b> - the 08/27/2016 at 8:23am<b>xxmollyxx</b> - the 08/27/2016 at 8:21am<b>worthypegram1</b> - the 08/26/2016 at 1:31pm<b>Toonice45</b> - the 08/25/2016 at 1:47pm<b>edmunson</b> - the 08/23/2016 at 12:38am<b>008GGG</b> - the 08/22/2016 at 11:16pm

Fucked!<b>bmilkovich</b> - the 06/29/2016 at 4:11am<b>lambda</b> - the 06/28/2016 at 7:11am<b>jasonrellet</b> - the 06/27/2016 at 4:52pm<b>heartofhannah</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 4:48am<b>FusionPlacebo</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 10:48pm<b>zahiddnasir</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 7:04pm<b>zahidnasir</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 4:28pm

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Jonkbaby's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to my boyfriend's apartment for the first time, only to see another girl walking out. I accused her of cheating with him and we got into a fight. Turns out I was at the wrong apartment. He lives next door. FML

by 181999 / 09/14/2013 at 4:47pm / United States (Vermont) / Love

Today, I went to the movies with my husband and our 6-year-old son. My husband kept stealing popcorn from the guy next to him, to the point where the guy punched him in the face. The movie was stopped, the police were called, and my son is now inconsolable. FML

by Anonymous / 09/14/2013 at 3:32pm / Iceland (Gullbringusysla) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had sex with a guy wearing a KFC uniform. Hat included. FML

by lyfisdyno / 09/11/2013 at 8:16pm / United Kingdom (Worcestershire) / Intimacy

Today, I was waiting in line with my boyfriend behind me. I decided to hold his hand and rub his chest while we waited. Then I heard a female voice behind me that said, "Ma'am, please don't touch me." FML

by cpmolly / 08/24/2013 at 11:18am / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom put me in charge of her business's Facebook. Later, I was doing homework and took a Facebook break, changing my status to "So fucking boring." I'd forgotten to log out of the business account. FML

by ShadowReiku / 08/22/2013 at 10:05pm / United States (Maryland) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my mom came into my room to give me a goodbye kiss. Due to the routine of my girlfriend doing the exact same thing in the exact same spot, I held the kiss way longer than what a mother/son kiss should last. My mom actually had to tell me to "let go". FML

by deadman / 08/15/2013 at 9:06pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got the sex talk from my dad. It wouldn't have been so bad if he hadn't said "It's not the size of the stick, it's how you use it." I'm a girl. FML

by confused_girl / 08/01/2013 at 1:10am / United States (Iowa) / Intimacy

Today, while using a restroom in Walmart, an old lady with a cane hobbled in screaming, "I smell someone making sin!" She would not stop tapping on the door with her cane till I came out. FML

by DreamStatic / 07/28/2013 at 10:16pm / United States (Georgia) / Health

Today, I was getting freaky with my boyfriend and told him to spank me. In a seductive voice, he told me not to tell him what to do. Continuing, I asked him how he was going to punish me, to which he then replied, "I'm going to punch you straight in the face." FML

by suckstosuck / 07/23/2013 at 12:04am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, as I was about to enter a public restroom, a man walked out and said, "You may want to hold your nose in there. I just took the biggest dump of my life." It was the ladies' restroom. FML

by Anonymous / 07/16/2013 at 12:41am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was teaching my daughter how to drive. We were passing by a merge lane; I told her to slow down and let a green car merge in front of us. She said, "Fuck the green car" and sped up, colliding with it. Apparently she didn't know that would happen. FML

by Anonymous / 07/14/2013 at 11:40pm / United States (Maryland) / Transportation

Today, I went to the pool with my son. One moment I'm sitting down, applying sunscreen to my legs, and the next I look up to see him squatting on the diving board, seconds before dropping a deuce into the pool. As we got kicked out, he screamed that it was my fault. FML

by Anonymous / 07/12/2013 at 4:27pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I was eating a corndog, when my boyfriend jokingly told me to "take it deeper". I did, and ended up choking and throwing up all over the table. FML

by Anonymous / 07/11/2013 at 1:08pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried acid for the first time while camping with my best friend. A drunk driver smashed into my car, leaving it totaled. I had to explain the situation to a cop all while thinking my car was bleeding green ooze. FML

by Anonymous / 07/02/2013 at 1:24am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, as a joke, my friends pushed me into the men's restroom and held the door shut. As I was trying to push the door open, I heard a voice behind me say, "Wow. Immaturity, huh?" I turned to find a guy taking a dump in one of the urinals. FML

by Anonymous / 07/01/2013 at 1:50am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous