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Jmweed

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Jmweed
  • Town/Country : surprise, America
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 15 August 1995 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 869
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Jmweed's favorite FMLs

Today, I puked up a centipede. FML

#16126004
249 comments

Today, our school got portable classrooms for the construction on our school. I had to take a dump really bad, and had to use the built in bathroom. As I was in there I heard laughing. Turns out, every sound you make is an entire broadcast to the class. FML

#16119488
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27888) - you deserved it (3815)

On 05/10/2011 at 5:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while my teacher was helping me with a problem, the gum he was chewing fell from his mouth and down my shirt. FML

#15964588
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39791) - you deserved it (4169)

On 04/28/2011 at 3:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a tornado watch has been instituted in my town. At this moment, I have violent diarrhea, and my toilet sits right in front of a window. FML

#15962941
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28133) - you deserved it (3644)

On 04/28/2011 at 12:51pm - health - by cnamobi - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was mugged. The guy mugging me was eating a banana. FML

#15917217
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30930) - you deserved it (6608)

On 04/25/2011 at 8:11am - misc - by wtfisthisworldcomingto -

Today, I played Angry Birds for two hours. I got so into the game, I failed to remember that I was sitting on a public toilet. I only realized this when the janitor came to check on me. FML

#15901266
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9047) - you deserved it (37345)

On 04/23/2011 at 9:02pm - animals - by bobo - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it's been 5 years I've been working for a man that won't admit he has Tourette's. He sits at his desk, twitching his head and hissing like a snake. He's also randomly said things like 'nipples', 'Jessica Simpson', 'potato peeler', etc. I feel like it's become my job to warn new employees. FML

#15858383
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28414) - you deserved it (4101)

On 04/20/2011 at 11:25am - work - by ShakeRattleHiss (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at work, I spent half an hour trying to convince an elderly customer that no, I wasn't a messenger sent by the devil to take her soul to hell. FML

#15857597
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30612) - you deserved it (2981)

On 04/20/2011 at 10:15am - work - by rawr -

Today, I got 2 creams for a skin condition. The one for my face says "Don't expose skin to sun after use of this product". The one for the rest of my body says "This product relies on exposure to the sun". In other words, I have to be outside as much as I can, naked and with a box on my head. FML

#15480042
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31088) - you deserved it (5825)

On 03/25/2011 at 8:22am - health - by FromNL (man) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

#15415559
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34810) - you deserved it (30430)

On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, I emailed my potential boss a copy of my résumé. However, I didn't realize until too late that it was my fake resume, created for an English class project. Some of my former jobs included being a certified gangster, as well as the former president of Canada. FML

#15334821
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14607) - you deserved it (45261)

On 03/16/2011 at 9:01am - work - by Almostfunny (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I woke up and switched on the TV. The first thing I saw was a picture of a wanted rapist, who looks just like me. I'm afraid to leave home. FML

#8
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (266329) - you deserved it (23305)

On 10/13/2008 at 4:20am - misc - by mehdi -



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