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Jmweed

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Jmweed

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 15 August 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1090
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Jmweed's page activity

Visits<b>sspence</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 1:31am<b>lovingfml</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 11:58am<b>jakekaj</b> - the 05/29/2013 at 11:28pm<b>DutchRogue</b> - the 04/17/2013 at 10:03am<b>Trollz4daLULZ</b> - the 07/19/2010 at 4:54am<b>Fang_Banger</b> - the 07/04/2010 at 10:07pm

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Jmweed's favorite FMLs

Today, at my job as a movie theater attendant, my boss finally eased up and let me sit in on one of the movies. One woman kept laughing out loud every other line. After ten minutes of her braying like a dying horse, I got up and had her ejected from the theater. I'm a terrible person. FML

#17398453
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28309) - you deserved it (10471)

On 08/07/2011 at 4:29pm - work - by power corrupts... (woman) - Czech Republic (Plzensky kraj)

Today, my 5 year old fish died. As I was flushing him, he started swimming again. FML

#17371338
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39187) - you deserved it (7275)

On 08/04/2011 at 9:47pm - animals - by dukebluedevils13 - United States (Colorado)

Today, I got a complaint from my neighbor about a little girl staring at her through my guest bedroom window for the past month. I live alone. And now I'm scared to live in my own house. FML

#17349963
376 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53233) - you deserved it (3274)

On 08/03/2011 at 12:04am - misc - by soccerbuddyz - United States (Florida)

Today, my old neighbor pelted me with apples when I walked out the door. I ducked for cover and asked what her problem was. She yelled, "You took fresh peas from my garden!" I looked at her garden, only to see my dad tiptoeing back to our lawn, laughing and holding a bag full of peas. FML

#17344218
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31973) - you deserved it (2898)

On 08/02/2011 at 2:36pm - misc - by scully11 (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I broke my leg while trying to show my friend how I broke my other leg. FML

#17342308
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21724) - you deserved it (66236)

On 08/02/2011 at 10:17am - health - by chinchilla4404 (woman) - United States

Today, at some point, and for some reason I'll probably never fully understand, it seemed like a good idea to get completely shitfaced on tequila and try to shave my ballsack with a straight razor. I'm not sure if these wounds will ever heal. FML

#17334283
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11694) - you deserved it (65516)

On 08/01/2011 at 5:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was at a pool party with some friends. They grabbed and lifted me in the air, about to throw me in the pool. My iPhone was in my pocket, so I screamed "MY PHONE!" They paused so I could gently throw it onto a deck chair. It bounced, hit the concrete, and cracked its screen. FML

#17332249
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29163) - you deserved it (11705)

On 08/01/2011 at 2:12pm - misc - by howniceofyou (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got home from work to find my house covered in graffiti dicks, the windows smashed, the front lawn entirely ripped up, and my letter box containing dog shit. I also found a note taped to the door saying, "Suck on this Darren". Darren is my next door neighbor. FML

#17063070
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57947) - you deserved it (2937)

On 07/11/2011 at 3:42am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I'd just finished cleaning the bathrooms at work when I saw a young boy go in. Of course, I thought nothing of it until I had to use the bathroom myself ten minutes later. The kid had taken a shit and missed the toilet completely. FML

#17029959
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30037) - you deserved it (2279)

On 07/08/2011 at 3:43pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my mother resolved to never visit McDonald's again. Not because of ethics or health concerns, but because they charged her for extra barbecue sauce. She bitched out the man in the drive-through for a good five minutes, while I sat awkwardly in the passenger's seat. FML

#17018036
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27148) - you deserved it (2859)

On 07/07/2011 at 7:07pm - misc - by AgentFreshers (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I went to my high school reunion. I was super excited to see what everyone had done in their lives. The nerdy guy I bullied is now a U.S. Marine and already has two deployments in Afghanistan under his belt. He looked at me in his dress blues and said, "I remember you." FML

#16519347
463 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10529) - you deserved it (117019)

On 06/05/2011 at 8:52pm - misc - by kringr (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my toilet decided it wouldn't take any more shit from me, and flooded the bathroom. FML

#16299538
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36895) - you deserved it (6055)

On 05/22/2011 at 4:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was driving along when the car in front of me ran over an animal. I only realised this when a chunk of flesh and blood landed on my windscreen. I put my wipers on to get rid of it but instead it got stuck underneath the wipers and smeared all over the screen. FML

#16154731
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29560) - you deserved it (6099)

On 05/13/2011 at 4:13am - misc - by Username -

Today, I woke up so pissed off that I yelled at my cereal. FML

#16128268
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33603) - you deserved it (14851)

On 05/11/2011 at 10:33am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I realized I have more dogs than I do friends. I have two dogs. FML

#16126414
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35423) - you deserved it (6152)

On 05/11/2011 at 1:48am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)



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