Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

JimmyDn2000

Search for a member

JimmyDn2000
  • Town/Country : Saint Louis, USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 20 December 1981 (32 years)
  • Number of visits : 2024
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

JimmyDn2000's last visitors

shanannygians07bfsd42Dodge4x4Ram

JimmyDn2000's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of JimmyDn2000's badges

JimmyDn2000's favorite FMLs

Today, I heard the four most dreaded words known to man during my first time: "Is it in yet?" It was. FML

#15546300
420 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66898) - you deserved it (9318)

On 03/29/2011 at 1:26pm - intimacy - by Johntheladdo (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I heard the four most dreaded words known to man during my first time: "Is it in yet?" It was. FML

#15546300
420 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66898) - you deserved it (9318)

On 03/29/2011 at 1:26pm - intimacy - by Johntheladdo (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my girlfriend and I were playfully arguing about who loved the other more. After about a minute of this, my girlfriend walked over and kicked me in the crotch as hard as she could. She then said, "There, now you don't love me as much. I win." FML

#15539670
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41780) - you deserved it (14373)

On 03/28/2011 at 11:33pm - love - by ouch - United States (Arizona)

Today, my girlfriend and I were playfully arguing about who loved the other more. After about a minute of this, my girlfriend walked over and kicked me in the crotch as hard as she could. She then said, "There, now you don't love me as much. I win." FML

#15539670
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41780) - you deserved it (14373)

On 03/28/2011 at 11:33pm - love - by ouch - United States (Arizona)

Today, I got a call from my 8 year old son's teacher. Apparently, my kid has been charging girls a quarter to touch his "special area." FML

#15472026
402 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42536) - you deserved it (6477)

On 03/24/2011 at 8:43pm - misc - by omg - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was playing with my dog. His bouncy ball rolled under the couch, and I got on my hands and knees to get it. He decided it would be a good chance to hump the shit out of me. FML

#15448080
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31643) - you deserved it (10081)

On 03/23/2011 at 12:21pm - animals - by Username - United States (Florida)

Today, in an attempt to get my son to stop playing Call of Duty, I threw his Xbox controller out the window. He was so desperate, he followed it. His bedroom is on the second floor. My son has 3 broken ribs, and no future. FML

#15405912
491 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33479) - you deserved it (47498)

On 03/20/2011 at 9:25pm - kids - by failureparent (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was spending Saint Patrick's Day with my girlfriend, when she started pinching me for not wearing green. To my complete shock, when she pinched my nipple, I got the biggest, most noticeable erection I've ever had in my life, and no matter what I did, it wouldn't go away. We were in public. FML

#15355329
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38789) - you deserved it (8141)

On 03/17/2011 at 6:38pm - intimacy - by Mr. Sensitive Nips - United States (Texas)

Today, after my 22 year old son realized that there was no more contact solution, he decided to use tequila because he thought it would "kill the germs." We had to go to the hospital to have his eyes flushed out. I raised this moron. FML

#15339337
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39947) - you deserved it (10763)

On 03/16/2011 at 6:05pm - kids - by WTF -

Today, I got a call from my five-year-old son's principal, my son had pooped in the school yard then gave the teacher a ziploc bag and commanded her to pick it up. He said he was trying to imitate our dog. FML

#15328400
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30999) - you deserved it (4452)

On 03/15/2011 at 10:05pm - kids - by anonymous -

Today, I went to the doctor for an infection from where a cat bit me while I was sleeping. Where that cat came from and how it got into my bedroom I will never know. FML

#15291539
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26694) - you deserved it (2177)

On 03/13/2011 at 9:19am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, while sleeping, I heard an explosion. My neighbor then knocked on my door and informed me that he had just hit my car with shrapnel from a cannon. Not only do I not have a car to drive, but I also have to put this claim on my insurance due to my neighbor being on welfare. FML

Today, I got mugged by a midget. FML

#15203950
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34880) - you deserved it (11884)

On 03/05/2011 at 1:55am - misc - by insomnitude (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I noticed my new neighbor had taken the liberty of putting up signs all around their lawn overnight. There are at least a dozen signs detailing the various reasons everyone on the planet is condemned to hell. FML

#15186423
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23763) - you deserved it (2566)

On 03/03/2011 at 1:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I woke up after a night out drinking on my sofa, with an electric dog collar around my neck and handcuffs on my wrists. The keys were on the other side of the invisible doggy fence. FML

#15154591
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12630) - you deserved it (33311)

On 02/28/2011 at 8:10pm - health - by stupiddrunk (man) - United Kingdom (London)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: