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JimmyDn2000

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JimmyDn2000

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 20 December 1981 (32 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3103
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

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JimmyDn2000's favorite FMLs

Today, I was slammed onto my car, thrown on the ground, and arrested for outstanding warrants from 1979. I was born in 1992. FML

#16449288
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65316) - you deserved it (3607)

On 06/01/2011 at 9:30am - misc - by aarone23 - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my fiancé informed me he didn't want a regular wedding cake, he wants a Batman cake. I have nothing against this, except that he already decided the wedding theme would be Star Wars. Essentially, I'm marrying a child. FML

#16411122
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35392) - you deserved it (21458)

On 05/30/2011 at 12:19am - love - by weddingblues (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I came home from work, only to find the babysitter passed out on the couch with a bottle of Jack Daniel's. At some point, it seems my son had taken the liberty of peeing on her while she slept. FML

#16375821
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37102) - you deserved it (5654)

On 05/27/2011 at 6:09pm - kids - by diddlebuag - United States (Ohio)

Today, I woke up face-down in my grandfather's driveway, soaking wet with no pants, glitter in my hair, and holding an empty Skippy peanut butter jar. No one will tell me what happened. FML

#16258570
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32890) - you deserved it (20238)

On 05/19/2011 at 9:38pm - misc - by Devon (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I got pulled over for going about 88mph. When the cop asked why I was speeding, I replied, "I was trying to go back in time". He didn't like that answer and gave me a ticket. FML

#16248002
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11280) - you deserved it (63361)

On 05/19/2011 at 1:30am - work - by 613tanner -

Today, after fifth block, I decided to go for a little walk. Apparently so did my boyfriend and best friend. I found them together under the stairs with her head in his crotch. She said she was looking for her contacts. His pants were pulled down. FML

#16237005
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54077) - you deserved it (4207)

On 05/18/2011 at 12:03pm - intimacy - by levi69 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my 12 year old son came home from school and informed me that he bought an air guitar for $20. He honestly thinks this is a good price. FML

#16113855
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34137) - you deserved it (11319)

On 05/10/2011 at 1:18am - kids - by Whatdididowrong? -

Today, my phone alarm woke me up. It had fallen under my boyfriend's bed. Naked, I got on all fours to retrieve it. My boyfriend's dog stuck his nose in my ass. FML

#16101317
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41410) - you deserved it (17440)

On 05/09/2011 at 2:08am - intimacy - by coldwetnose (woman) - United States

Today, after I moved into my college dorm three days ago, my roommate is still convinced that she is a cat. FML

#16099079
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27256) - you deserved it (3295)

On 05/08/2011 at 11:22pm - animals - by SMCHR (woman) - Ireland

Today, I found out the hard way that I'm the "lucky" type of woman who can experience intense orgasms in certain positions: in the middle of group yoga. FML

#15896670
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42813) - you deserved it (6875)

On 04/23/2011 at 10:55am - intimacy - by nightDREAMERms (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, at 5:30 in the morning while I was fast asleep, my cat decided the most threatening thing in my apartment that absolutely needed to be attacked was my left nipple. FML

#15896173
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30416) - you deserved it (4156)

On 04/23/2011 at 9:11am - health - by cdn_steed - United States (New York)

Today, at work, I spent half an hour trying to convince an elderly customer that no, I wasn't a messenger sent by the devil to take her soul to hell. FML

#15857597
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33513) - you deserved it (3213)

On 04/20/2011 at 10:15am - work - by rawr -

Today, I got back from vacation and walked in on my boyfriend and my brother in my bed. FML

#15617038
351 comments

I agree, your life sucks (107768) - you deserved it (7602)

On 04/03/2011 at 4:06am - intimacy - by Now Single - Reserved

Today, I attended a funeral. During the minute of silence, my phone went off. My ringtone is "It's good to be alive". FML

#15616538
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19315) - you deserved it (53230)

On 04/03/2011 at 3:02am - misc - by JJMan217 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was trying to replace the lightbulb in my bedroom. Since I couldn't reach it by myself, I grabbed and stood on a chair. After I got two broken bones, and had stitches in my forehead, I figured that using a chair with wheels probably wasn't the best idea after all. FML

#15581627
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9243) - you deserved it (68448)

On 03/31/2011 at 10:23pm - misc - by owies :( - United States (Florida)



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