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JimmyDn2000

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JimmyDn2000
  • Town/Country : Saint Louis, USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 20 December 1981 (32 years)
  • Number of visits : 2039
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

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JimmyDn2000's favorite FMLs

Today, my son told me he was afraid of monsters under his bed. When I poked my head under to show him nothing was there, the family cat sprang out and clawed me in the face. Now I have a gash on my chin, and my son refuses to go anywhere near his bed. FML

#18336712
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26177) - you deserved it (2430)

On 11/24/2011 at 12:07pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I realized that in my relationship with my significant other, the roles are switched. We went out for a nice dinner, I paid, and when we got home he "had a headache" and asked for an aspirin so he could go to sleep. FML

#18272596
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22655) - you deserved it (5865)

On 11/17/2011 at 1:11pm - misc - by Damnit (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was watching wrestling videos on YouTube, when my little brother walked in. Later, my little brother told my parents that I was watching naked men on my computer. They won't stop thinking that I was watching gay porn. FML

#18226728
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26942) - you deserved it (6448)

On 11/12/2011 at 9:19am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I woke up next to my boss naked. We are both women and she is married. Work should be interesting tomorrow. FML

#17839569
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18839) - you deserved it (42236)

On 09/26/2011 at 2:20pm - intimacy - by BigBananaLover - United States (California)

Today, I got an anonymous letter, stating my condo's community and all my neighbors can hear me having sex. Not only that, but kids gather around my window to listen. FML

#17354061
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12835) - you deserved it (23422)

On 08/03/2011 at 10:33am - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, my boyfriend decided it'd be funny to create a "place" on Facebook for my vagina. Now he "checks-in" every time we have sex. FML

#17338945
332 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48866) - you deserved it (9568)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:52am - intimacy - by INside (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that when you kick another man in the snowglobes and he smiles at you, there's something creepily wrong. FML

#17292941
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26792) - you deserved it (4848)

On 07/29/2011 at 12:20am - intimacy - by FML (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I saw my picture in an architecture magazine. I'm not an architect. I was walking up a flight of "magnificently built" stairs as my skirt lifted to show an absence of underwear. FML

#17267205
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17162) - you deserved it (32638)

On 07/26/2011 at 12:22pm - misc - by crotchshothottie - United States

Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML

#17089969
503 comments

I agree, your life sucks (117125) - you deserved it (5933)

On 07/13/2011 at 2:32am - intimacy - by whyme102008 - United States (Texas)

Today, I was propositioned by an incredibly pretty girl. I'm a 24 year old virgin; she's my best mate's girlfriend. She tells him everything when drunk, and he's a black-belt in karate. This could officially be classified as torture. FML

#17012885
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31628) - you deserved it (5238)

On 07/07/2011 at 10:40am - love - by Junktown (man) - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, my girlfriend who was planning on waiting until marriage for sex decided to have sex with me. It's been 4 hours and she hasn't stopped crying, praying and calling me the devil's temptation. FML

#16998038
389 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47041) - you deserved it (14876)

On 07/06/2011 at 7:26am - intimacy - by devilboy - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went to my high school reunion. I was super excited to see what everyone had done in their lives. The nerdy guy I bullied is now a U.S. Marine and already has two deployments in Afghanistan under his belt. He looked at me in his dress blues and said, "I remember you." FML

#16519347
457 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9761) - you deserved it (111423)

On 06/05/2011 at 8:52pm - misc - by kringr (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I signed up for an online dating site. In order to prove I was human and complete my registration, I had to pass a CAPTCHA. Coincidentally enough, the words in it were "depressed" and "loser". FML

#16515986
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28094) - you deserved it (6859)

On 06/05/2011 at 4:31pm - love - by Jakub89 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend from high school at the exact pizza shop we met at where I worked in high school. She broke it off with me after she caught me cheating with her best friend. These days, she's a lawyer who makes six figures a year. I still work at the same pizza shop. FML

#16495261
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8949) - you deserved it (86797)

On 06/04/2011 at 5:36am - love - by PizzaBoySwag (man) - United States (California)

Today, we finally got wireless Internet. My mom won't let us open any doors or windows in fear that it might "let the Internet out". It's 103 degrees in here. FML

#16464662
342 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52830) - you deserved it (4073)

On 06/02/2011 at 5:45am - health - by meyo555 - United States (Nebraska)



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