JimmyDn2000

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Offline (the 09/25/2015 at 6:34pm)

JimmyDn2000

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 20 December 1981 (34 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7156
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 18 posted

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JimmyDn2000's page activity

Visits<b>billionair11</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 12:29am<b>shanannygians07</b> - the 09/01/2013 at 7:33pm<b>bfsd42</b> - the 08/25/2013 at 3:22pm<b>Dodge4x4Ram</b> - the 08/24/2013 at 10:29pm

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JimmyDn2000's favorite FMLs

Today, my physics teacher accidentally lit me on fire. FML

by human torch / 03/18/2010 at 11:22am / United States / Health

Today, I woke up to go pee and my cat followed me into the bathroom as usual. Then, in a not so usual fashion, she tried to jump from the sink to the top of the toilet, missed, and fell into the bowl while I was peeing. I'm scratched in a bad place, I have urine to clean up off the bathroom floor, and a traumatized cat. FML

by Adam / 03/16/2010 at 4:51pm / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, I learned that in Japan there are monkeys that wait tables and work at a tavern. Literally, I have a job a monkey can do. FML

by slickboy0023 / 03/16/2010 at 11:30am / United States (Illinois) / Work

Today, after years of thinking I was weird for never being attracted to anyone, I realized that for the first time in my life I actually have a crush on someone. That 'someone' is my English teacher. He is 60. I am 18. FML

by allwrong / 03/16/2010 at 6:27am / Australia (South Australia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was so bored I googled the word "bored." The results were boring. FML

by hiii. / 03/15/2010 at 10:27pm / United States (Indiana) / Geek

Today, I was in a movie when my boyfriend sent out a mass text saying that he'd just lost his virginity. FML

by Anonymous / 03/15/2010 at 3:34pm / United States (Nevada) / Love

Today, I realized that not only am I still an unpublished author, but I can't even get an FML posted after submitting several in the last year. FML

by Anonymous / 03/13/2010 at 8:43am / United Kingdom (London) / Work

Today, my dad asked me if I could convince my mother to get a Brazillian wax. If that's not bad enough, my mother heard and yelled from the other room, "I like my furball." FML

by Grossed Out / 03/13/2010 at 5:35am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, my best friend decided she wanted to tell my boyfriend about the time I pissed myself laughing at her house. When she was telling the story I ended up laughing so hard, that I pissed myself again. FML

by Titi14 / 03/03/2010 at 10:19pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, trying to take initiative, I wore nothing but an apron and led my husband to the kitchen by his knob to have some fun. I tripped on the floor and used his knob to keep balance. FML

by Sorry / 03/03/2010 at 11:22am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, a wasp flew into my room. While I, a 6'2" hockey player, cowered in the corner, my 4'11" girlfriend killed it. FML

by Jeff / 03/02/2010 at 10:53am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals

Today, I was making out like a sixteen year old at the high school prom with this guy I kinda liked. All of a sudden, he rolls away and tells me he's "finished." We both had our clothes on the entire time. He is 23, I'm 25. I didn't know that was possible. FML

by virginmary / 03/02/2010 at 7:38am / Reserved / Intimacy

Today, I had to catch a shuttle bus. I awoke to the sound of a car horn. I ran out in my boxers and saw a bus take off down the road. I chased it, thinking I had missed my bus. I realized I hadn't only when I saw frightened kids in the back of the bus. FML

by militiousroflcopter / 03/01/2010 at 5:04pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, I realized explosive diarrhea can happen, and at the most inopportune times, such as on the day of MY wedding. At the alter while my husband said his vows. FML

by pain / 02/26/2010 at 5:23am / Japan / Love

Today, I realized that I get more turned on by my exercise bike than my boyfriend of 4 years. FML

by Katrina641 / 02/25/2010 at 11:20pm / Intimacy