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JimmyDn2000

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JimmyDn2000

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 20 December 1981 (32 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2871
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

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JimmyDn2000's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to go pee and my cat followed me into the bathroom as usual. Then, in a not so usual fashion, she tried to jump from the sink to the top of the toilet, missed, and fell into the bowl while I was peeing. I'm scratched in a bad place, I have urine to clean up off the bathroom floor, and a traumatized cat. FML

#9135717
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31750) - you deserved it (4589)

On 03/16/2010 at 4:51pm - animals - by Adam (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I learned that in Japan there are monkeys that wait tables and work at a tavern. Literally, I have a job a monkey can do. FML

#9129865
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27463) - you deserved it (5025)

On 03/16/2010 at 11:30am - work - by slickboy0023 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, after years of thinking I was weird for never being attracted to anyone, I realized that for the first time in my life I actually have a crush on someone. That 'someone' is my English teacher. He is 60. I am 18. FML

#9127097
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27677) - you deserved it (11830)

On 03/16/2010 at 6:27am - misc - by allwrong (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I was so bored I googled the word "bored." The results were boring. FML

#9117281
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9095) - you deserved it (35499)

On 03/15/2010 at 10:27pm - misc - by hiii. (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was in a movie when my boyfriend sent out a mass text saying that he'd just lost his virginity. FML

#9104990
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38079) - you deserved it (3774)

On 03/15/2010 at 3:34pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, I realized that not only am I still an unpublished author, but I can't even get an FML posted after submitting several in the last year. FML

#9042400
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32815) - you deserved it (6680)

On 03/13/2010 at 8:43am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my dad asked me if I could convince my mother to get a Brazillian wax. If that's not bad enough, my mother heard and yelled from the other room, "I like my furball." FML

#9041294
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32912) - you deserved it (2360)

On 03/13/2010 at 5:35am - intimacy - by Grossed Out - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my best friend decided she wanted to tell my boyfriend about the time I pissed myself laughing at her house. When she was telling the story I ended up laughing so hard, that I pissed myself again. FML

#8811834
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10373) - you deserved it (21606)

On 03/03/2010 at 10:19pm - misc - by Titi14 - United States (New York)

Today, trying to take initiative, I wore nothing but an apron and led my husband to the kitchen by his knob to have some fun. I tripped on the floor and used his knob to keep balance. FML

#8797344
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20218) - you deserved it (6808)

On 03/03/2010 at 11:22am - intimacy - by Sorry (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a wasp flew into my room. While I, a 6'2" hockey player, cowered in the corner, my 4'11" girlfriend killed it. FML

#8770884
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9016) - you deserved it (36476)

On 03/02/2010 at 10:53am - animals - by Jeff - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was making out like a sixteen year old at the high school prom with this guy I kinda liked. All of a sudden, he rolls away and tells me he's "finished." We both had our clothes on the entire time. He is 23, I'm 25. I didn't know that was possible. FML

#8769205
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18697) - you deserved it (3234)

On 03/02/2010 at 7:38am - intimacy - by virginmary - Reserved

Today, I had to catch a shuttle bus. I awoke to the sound of a car horn. I ran out in my boxers and saw a bus take off down the road. I chased it, thinking I had missed my bus. I realized I hadn't only when I saw frightened kids in the back of the bus. FML

#8751170
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7175) - you deserved it (19499)

On 03/01/2010 at 5:04pm - work - by militiousroflcopter (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I realized explosive diarrhea can happen, and at the most inopportune times, such as on the day of MY wedding. At the alter while my husband said his vows. FML

#8658648
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53516) - you deserved it (2774)

On 02/26/2010 at 5:23am - love - by pain (woman) - Japan

Today, I realized that I get more turned on by my exercise bike than my boyfriend of 4 years. FML

#8653612
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17010) - you deserved it (3615)

On 02/25/2010 at 11:20pm - intimacy - by Katrina641 - Sent from mobile version



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