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JimmyDn2000

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JimmyDn2000
  • Town/Country : Saint Louis, USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 20 December 1981 (32 years)
  • Number of visits : 2038
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

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JimmyDn2000's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom came into my bedroom and told me to listen to this voicemail. I listened to me and my girlfriend talking dirty followed by the bed springs bouncing for 3 minutes. I had my phone in the pocket while I was having sex with her and it left my mom a nice voicemail. FML

#12337328
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21477) - you deserved it (34707)

On 08/05/2010 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by JDLAX1924 - United States

Today, I realized that in French, my name means "penis." This wouldn't be so bad if my dad wasn't fluent in French. FML

#12332692
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37700) - you deserved it (3216)

On 08/05/2010 at 2:24pm - love - by kiki - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was watching this show about fat people. I was wondering how people could let this happen to themselves. Then I looked down and saw a giant bowl of popcorn, ice cream, potato chips, and soda. I thus figured out how people do this to themselves. FML

#12326152
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7523) - you deserved it (39705)

On 08/05/2010 at 4:17am - health - by Somethingswrongwiththispic (woman) - United States

Today, I discovered that my mom is having an affair... with her cousin. FML

#12322753
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50907) - you deserved it (3657)

On 08/05/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by Drew - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to explain to my doctor and parents that I dislocated my shoulder while masturbating. FML

#12316575
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28408) - you deserved it (32120)

On 08/04/2010 at 8:24pm - intimacy - by kinky - United States (Virginia)

Today, my best friend who I've known since high school is getting married. I'm supposed to give a toast during the reception about how great the bride and groom are. I've been sleeping with the groom for the past 7 months. FML

#12294723
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9126) - you deserved it (119557)

On 08/03/2010 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by Emily (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my wife of 2 years told me she was pregnant, after we've been trying for ages. Excited, about to call my parents, my wife then told me, "Don't get your hopes up it might not be yours, the father could be 5 other guys." And then asked me what I'd like for dinner. FML

#12277666
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51164) - you deserved it (3842)

On 08/03/2010 at 12:07am - intimacy - by Cheated (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at a red light when the guy next to me gave me that look people give when they want a street race. I won, but I should've seen the word "Sheriff" written on the side of his car. FML

#12247405
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7699) - you deserved it (71822)

On 08/01/2010 at 3:41pm - misc - by Our Talisman - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was woken up at 3:00 am to the sound of a tape recording of a baby crying, loudly. This has been going on for 3 nights, non stop. Why? because I brought up the subject of having a baby with my wife. Clearly, you can see where she stands. FML

#12241266
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31542) - you deserved it (10720)

On 08/01/2010 at 4:45am - kids - by kfoehslfns - United States (Oregon)

Today, I woke up to my English bulldog standing over me, getting ready to pee. I didn't move in time. FML

#12225863
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23377) - you deserved it (3821)

On 07/31/2010 at 12:28pm - misc - by Monkey (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend and I went on vacation. We flew 2000 miles, got off the plane, got our bags and stood outside the airport for our ride. She looks at me and says, "I can't do this anymore." So, she broke up with me and flew back home. Now I'm on vacation alone. FML

#12201000
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35748) - you deserved it (3257)

On 07/30/2010 at 2:38am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, a friend of mine came to my house with tears in her eyes. I thought she was finally single so I could ask her out. Actually, her mother found out she was dating a girl, so she wants me to be her fake boyfriend as a cover-up. At least we're "dating" now. FML

#12187825
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34242) - you deserved it (4338)

On 07/29/2010 at 2:24pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got a parking ticket while standing beside my car. FML

#12183114
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25198) - you deserved it (8222)

On 07/29/2010 at 6:56am - misc - by Andre - United States (Indiana)

Today, I went to bed with three hot, half-naked girls beneath me. I was in the bunk above. Alone. FML

#12143188
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32499) - you deserved it (14724)

On 07/27/2010 at 10:43am - intimacy - by lonelyguy321 - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I was fired from the restaurant I work at because I missed my shift. I missed it because I was in the hospital for food poisoning from the meal I ate at work last night. FML

#12114590
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36015) - you deserved it (2704)

On 07/26/2010 at 12:22am - work - by anon - United States



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