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JimmyDn2000

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JimmyDn2000

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 20 December 1981 (32 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2772
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

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JimmyDn2000's favorite FMLs

Today, I was riding the subway when a beautiful topless girl walked into my car and sat directly in front of me. Then, the train stopped abruptly and I banged my head. The girl was gone and I realized it had all been a dream. Then I realized I was supposed to get off 17 stops ago. FML

#12544003
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17783) - you deserved it (37285)

On 08/15/2010 at 6:31pm - intimacy - by Peekaman (man) - United States (New York)

Today, a wasp stung my nipple. Twice. The swelling makes it look like I'm growing a third breast. FML

#12539128
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28677) - you deserved it (3827)

On 08/15/2010 at 1:24pm - animals - by tammy - Sent from mobile version

Today, my sister got caught cheating on her boyfriend. She was cheating on him with my boyfriend. FML

#12535853
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45314) - you deserved it (3317)

On 08/15/2010 at 7:39am - intimacy - by bbbblt - Australia (Queensland)

Today, one of my mum's dinner guests walked in on me and my boyfriend kissing, only to let out a horrified scream. Apparently my mum had introduced my boyfriend as her son, as she is embarrassed of my real brother. FML

#12524990
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36602) - you deserved it (2548)

On 08/14/2010 at 7:23pm - love - by incestastic - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend and I made lists of what celebrities we're interested in. The first one she listed wasn't a celebrity - it was my brother. He's spending the weekend with us. FML

#12519731
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30061) - you deserved it (3547)

On 08/14/2010 at 1:37pm - love - by Chad - United States (New York)

Today, I was messing with my boyfriend in my basement. We are both virgins and he wanted to perform oral sex on me for the first time. Naked, we finally decided to try to have sex. We discovered the act is much harder than it may seem. We're both still virgins. FML

#12485840
356 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28965) - you deserved it (33682)

On 08/12/2010 at 9:01pm - intimacy - by Blueberrypicc (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my girlfriend's mom and dad walked in on us while we were playing naked twister. FML

#12476862
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18950) - you deserved it (31176)

On 08/12/2010 at 12:19pm - intimacy - by FML (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I asked my mother why she had me in the first place, as we never get along. She replied because my father wanted me. So, I called my father to ask him the same question, he said he only wanted to have me to keep my mother around, and that didn't work, so I was a waste. FML

#12467106
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41058) - you deserved it (3948)

On 08/12/2010 at 12:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mom was taking an online IQ test. To the question "On which continent is Canada located?" she responded "Antarctica." If intelligence is genetic, I'm screwed. FML

#12438050
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30598) - you deserved it (3165)

On 08/10/2010 at 7:19pm - misc - by Brandon (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my brother's girlfriend and my girlfriend went out shopping. My brother's girlfriend bought a pair of killer black heels and a box of condoms. My girlfriend bought a pair of orange Crocs and a vibrator. FML

#12408550
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40714) - you deserved it (13279)

On 08/09/2010 at 9:24am - intimacy - by Mikey832 (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, we got new doors fitted. There were new locks on the bathroom, to the reluctance of my mother, who thought one of us would lock ourselves in. "Only an idiot would lock themselves in," I said, and shut the door to demonstrate. I locked myself in. FML

#12388873
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6736) - you deserved it (32911)

On 08/08/2010 at 10:32am - misc - by Lola (woman) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, my husband discovered that whispering anything in my ear will turn me on. He turned to me and whispered 'cheeseburger' in my ear. Unfortunately, I moaned. Now he now laughs about it with our roommate. FML

#12377816
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26043) - you deserved it (17397)

On 08/07/2010 at 9:05pm - intimacy - by Indigo_Kitten (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my four year old told my mother-in-law that our house is haunted because she hears a ghost at night saying "oh" and daddy's name as if they're hurt. FML

#12361153
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27909) - you deserved it (16662)

On 08/06/2010 at 10:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I decided to watch a movie I hadn't seen before to bring my spirits up, as I've been feeling down lately. How did the movie end? Everybody died. FML

#12344215
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25807) - you deserved it (7689)

On 08/06/2010 at 1:12am - misc - by Shouldaknown (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my mom came into my bedroom and told me to listen to this voicemail. I listened to me and my girlfriend talking dirty followed by the bed springs bouncing for 3 minutes. I had my phone in the pocket while I was having sex with her and it left my mom a nice voicemail. FML

#12337328
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23262) - you deserved it (37327)

On 08/05/2010 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by JDLAX1924 - United States



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