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JimmyDn2000

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JimmyDn2000
  • Town/Country : Saint Louis, USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 20 December 1981 (32 years)
  • Number of visits : 2041
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

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JimmyDn2000's favorite FMLs

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my fingers got stuck between the wall and headboard. Screaming, he thought I was enjoying the sex and kept going even harder. I have 3 broken fingers. FML

#13418490
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43579) - you deserved it (7927)

On 10/12/2010 at 8:57am - intimacy - by fungettingdressed - United States

Today, I lost the remote control to my TV. I can't change the channel manually on it, and the channel it's stuck on is currently playing an infomercial for the Pos-T-Vac penis pump. I've been watching this for an hour now. I'm a female, and I'm beginning to feel like I need this product. FML

#13403987
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24333) - you deserved it (8264)

On 10/11/2010 at 6:50am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my friends threw me a Halloween themed party for my sweet sixteen. When I arrived, one of my friends jumped out from behind the door, dressed as Michael Myers. I peed myself in front of everyone I knew. FML

#13394916
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23914) - you deserved it (5417)

On 10/10/2010 at 5:45pm - misc - by lolu - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I had a wet dream about having sexual relations with a rubber duck. FML

#13373695
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27360) - you deserved it (8523)

On 10/09/2010 at 1:15am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I was working on my family genealogy. I found out that my best friend's great-grandfather murdered my great-grandfather. FML

#13337964
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34911) - you deserved it (3289)

On 10/06/2010 at 12:32am - misc - by cantstoplaughing (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was at work on a smoke break. I work at a truck stop, and it was around 2am. This old man pulls in and asks me if I would like to join him for some dinner. I said no, and told him I was working. He replies, "How much do you charge?" Apparently, even in sweats I look like a hooker. FML

#13326946
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27129) - you deserved it (5808)

On 10/05/2010 at 5:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got hit by a Salami log thrown from a car; its metal wire cut my shoulder. I got scarred by a flying hunk of pig. FML

#13320249
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20392) - you deserved it (2091)

On 10/04/2010 at 7:31pm - misc - by ifpigsflew (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, on my way to school I dropped my money. As I turned to pick it up, I saw an old lady snatch it up. We began to argue when a police officer came over. Not only was I accused of being a disorderly thief, but that old lady just walked away with my lunch money for the entire week. FML

#13313177
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30165) - you deserved it (1910)

On 10/04/2010 at 2:37am - money - by melean (woman) - Trinidad and Tobago

Today, I married the woman I love. I wasn't the groom, I was the minister. FML

#13285940
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61131) - you deserved it (5804)

On 10/02/2010 at 4:07am - love - by Pr unlucky - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I got a text from my ex: "I miss you." I was happy to hear this, so I replied "Really?" I got in return "Not really, I'm just really horny and thinking of you." FML

#13285189
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26944) - you deserved it (4871)

On 10/02/2010 at 2:25am - intimacy - by rawr101 (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out my older brother put tanning lotion in the lotion I use to masturbate with. Now I have orange palms and an orange penis which won't go away for weeks. FML

#13278835
319 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16551) - you deserved it (40058)

On 10/01/2010 at 6:12pm - intimacy - by caughtorangehanded (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I hurt my jaw after I got hit by a car. While receiving medical attention, the paramedic accidentally punched me in the face. FML

#13233409
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26075) - you deserved it (2233)

On 09/28/2010 at 7:37am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Gelderland)

Today, I found a video of my girlfriend having sex with her male best friend on her computer. When I confronted her about it she said it was from before we met. In the video, she was wearing the engagement ring I bought her. FML

#13221362
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53578) - you deserved it (3139)

On 09/27/2010 at 11:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I noticed my kitten was growling and twitching in his sleep. I tried to wake him up by gently prodding him. He responded by waking up and attacking my face. FML

#13137584
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8402) - you deserved it (24890)

On 09/21/2010 at 12:38am - health - by meowmeow - Australia



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