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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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JimJimJim

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JimJimJim
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 201
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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JimJimJim's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house. While I was waiting for him to get ready, I saw a little purple change purse on his dresser. I picked it up, shook it and heard what I assumed was change clanging around in there, so I opened it and out of it poured about ten human teeth into my hand. FML

#9173675 (306)

I agree, your life sucks (10194) - you deserved it (18823)

On 03/17/2010 at 10:58pm - misc - by Rachael (woman) - United States (Idaho)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, after years of thinking I was weird for never being attracted to anyone, I realized that for the first time in my life I actually have a crush on someone. That 'someone' is my English teacher. He is 60. I am 18. FML

#9127097 (243)

I agree, your life sucks (20471) - you deserved it (8638)

On 03/16/2010 at 6:27am - misc - by allwrong (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I have the flu, food poisoning and I'm on my period. I have enough liquids pouring out of me from various holes to satisfy a sewer. FML

#8045354 (313)

I agree, your life sucks (35697) - you deserved it (2105)

On 02/09/2010 at 7:22am - health - by SickSmick (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I was in an elevator, and the hot girl who lives in my building and who I have a crush on got in. She was in a wheelchair with a broken leg, I panicked and tried to flirt with her, and I said 'Nice chair.' She replied 'Nice bruise' and punched me in the nuts. FML

#7766878 (224)

I agree, your life sucks (8218) - you deserved it (32045)

On 02/01/2010 at 12:15am - love - by Liam. - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had a 10 hour drive to Las Vegas with only 2 CDs, Taylor Swift and Jason Mraz, and my girlfriend who thinks she's a good singer. FML

#7607342 (200)

I agree, your life sucks (27799) - you deserved it (6278)

On 01/27/2010 at 3:35am - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because of my dad constantly hitting on her. Not because she was disgusted, but because she wants to date him. FML

#7584651 (176)

I agree, your life sucks (39369) - you deserved it (1669)

On 01/26/2010 at 2:35am - love - by Junior (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my daughter learned that if she rips a toy out of its package in front of a store employee, mommy will be forced to buy it. She now has two new toys today. FML

#7273590 (321)

I agree, your life sucks (22407) - you deserved it (6897)

On 01/11/2010 at 3:09am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got an email. It said "Everyone hates you. We voted." FML

#6566418 (77)

I agree, your life sucks (26572) - you deserved it (3823)

On 12/02/2009 at 10:26am - misc - by JustAnotherTina (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, some thug tried to mug me. I panicked and ran. As they chased me with their knife out, I heard a slip and a shout behind me but kept running. Six blocks later I was spotted, arrested and held for questioning by the police. The mugger fell, stabbed themselves and told a cop that I did it. FML

#5911952 (127)

I agree, your life sucks (42811) - you deserved it (1511)

On 10/20/2009 at 11:57am - misc - by BobbyHutchinson (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, a woman yelled at me to stop following her around the store. We were in IKEA. The only way to get through the store is to follow the arrows through a one-way path. Apparently, no one informed her of this. FML

#5829001 (79)

I agree, your life sucks (21455) - you deserved it (1319)

On 10/14/2009 at 2:19pm - misc - by creepystalkerguy (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a shower together for the first time. He was trying impress me and did some sort of dance move, he slipped, and when he fell he kicked my leg out causing me to fall and hit my face on the faucet. FML

#4994494 (45)

I agree, your life sucks (18968) - you deserved it (2465)

On 09/02/2009 at 5:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I got stuck in an elevator. After ringing the alarm bell consistantly for 10 minutes, I called someone I was staying with. She went down to the front desk and said that there were people stuck in the elevator. Front desk- "Is that what that is? I thought it was some kids messing around." FML

#4433502 (94)

I agree, your life sucks (33642) - you deserved it (1623)

On 08/10/2009 at 7:00pm - misc - by elevatorFAIL (woman) - United States (New York)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, at my job in a chemists, I had a customer ask me which acne cream I would recommend. I picked up the brand I use and told her that I've been using it for a year now. After pausing to stare at my face for a second, she thanked me and picked up the competing brand instead. FML

#2966827 (78)

I agree, your life sucks (31946) - you deserved it (3536)

On 06/17/2009 at 12:32pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Russian Federation (Moscow City)

Today, I texted the hottest girl in the school saying, "I really like you, we should date". She responded with a text saying, "Sorry, I'm not into you." I then got a text saying, "Sorry, my brother stole my phone, and answered, but still it's no". I got rejected twice. Once by a man. FML

#1213141 (117)

I agree, your life sucks (48775) - you deserved it (7760)

On 04/22/2009 at 12:09am - love - by misterhippo (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was teasing my boyfriend telling him that my butt was so much cuter than his and that at least mine wasn't smelly stinky or hairy. Then he said yeah, I just wish that your vag was the same way. FML

#144794 (191)

I agree, your life sucks (14180) - you deserved it (47334)

On 02/26/2009 at 5:11pm - intimacy - by FMluck (woman) - United States (Texas)