About JiggsKacey : I just asked my crush out...and he said he'd rather date a telephone...I don't know how insulting this is...pretty sad though..
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Today, I had to call AAA for the fifth time in two months. When the driver got out, I instantly recognized him. It was the same guy who helped me out all the previous occasions. When he saw me, he snorted and doubled over laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16056) - you deserved it (4787)
On 02/11/2012 at 1:35pm - misc - by big steve (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I put my boyfriend's t-shirt on and took sexy pictures with nothing else but panties. I then sent him the pictures. His reply was, "Can you wash that when you're done?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (24847) - you deserved it (6487)
On 02/06/2012 at 11:18am - intimacy - by jodibut - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, while in bed with my fiancée, I asked her to take off her pants so we could get it on. She said, "No, I don't feel like squeezing into them again." I was cockblocked by a pair of jeans. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22736) - you deserved it (3521)
On 02/02/2012 at 4:31am - intimacy - by DieTrying - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend and I were hugging in the hall after school. This annoying kid I know walked by, and yelled, "Tiny penis!" at me. My girlfriend responded, "Yep." FML
I agree, your life sucks (30211) - you deserved it (3836)
On 01/21/2012 at 5:38pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, my girlfriend hummed the Jeopardy theme while I was trying to undo her bra. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23191) - you deserved it (17394)
On 01/15/2012 at 7:52am - intimacy - by joeshmoe - United States (Washington)
Today, I was watching TV with my boyfriend, when a World of Warcraft commercial came on. He turned to me and said, "Yeah, I'd choose the Horde over you any day." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18393) - you deserved it (2836)
On 01/13/2012 at 6:56pm - love - by Sad.To.Be.Me. (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, thanks to some asshole with a padlock, I got trapped in porta potty for over an hour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24854) - you deserved it (1739)
On 12/19/2011 at 12:48pm - misc - by stinkyhair (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. As soon as I began to climax, he started repeatedly asking, "Are you done? Are you done yet? Are you done?" Well, NOW I am. Thanks, honey. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23145) - you deserved it (2617)
On 12/08/2011 at 5:37am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, I noticed I'd mislaid one half of the "Monday" pair of socks from my "days of the week" set that were a gift for my birthday. I'm slightly OCD. I think I'm going to rip the floorboards up if I don't find it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17092) - you deserved it (8352)
On 12/07/2011 at 12:32am - misc - by socks (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working, so I put it between my knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately, I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out, I was trying to pop the cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27759) - you deserved it (4475)
On 11/21/2011 at 11:46pm - animals - by furryballoon (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was almost out of conditioner, despite having just bought some. Apparently, my boyfriend has been using it to condition his pubes. He thinks doing this will make me want to give him more blowjobs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22673) - you deserved it (3646)
On 10/31/2011 at 7:29pm - intimacy - by silkysmooth (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was caught skinny dipping by the police. With the arresting officer's daughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33124) - you deserved it (7639)
On 10/20/2011 at 10:48pm - intimacy - by skinny dipper - United States (Washington)
Today, I saw an unbelievably cute guy. He caught my eye and began to walk towards me. I adjusted myself and flashed him a smile. He came up to me, smiled back, and said "Hi, do you have a minute for gay rights?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (29356) - you deserved it (5602)
On 10/15/2011 at 2:58am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, somebody ordered pizza and sent it to the house across the street from them, so they could shoot at the pizza guy with an air-soft gun from the upstairs of their house. I was that delivery guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23734) - you deserved it (1310)
On 10/13/2011 at 4:17am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, my sister asked me to explain where to put a tampon. I realized near the end of the conversation that she believed the urine, feces, and blood all came from the same orifice. This began a long discussion during which I was forced to tell her not to put the tampon in her rectum. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23682) - you deserved it (1760)
On 10/08/2011 at 2:48am - health - by ohgawd (woman) - United States (Washington)
Monday 20 May 2013
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