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JhasNeeh's FML badges
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
JhasNeeh's favorite FMLs
by Bigpoppa0507 / 08/31/2011 at 10:02am / Canada / Health
by cbarebo / 10/11/2009 at 1:21pm / United States (West Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, my wife got the flu. While she was sleeping, I went out to buy her some soup and other things. When I was walking back through the door, she woke up, thought I was a burglar, and threw the closest thing to her at me. What was it? A cactus. FML
by prickly / 10/11/2009 at 12:48pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend asked me out to dinner, which we never do. While at the restaurant he gets down on his knees, looks me in the eyes, and pulls out a little box. He opens it and inside is a note that says 'We're Done.' He then leaves me at the restaurant with the bill and the $2.00 box. FML
by Anonymous / 10/08/2009 at 3:04pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love
Today, it was my friend's paintball party and we were doing it in a forest nearby. When I arrived at his house, his parents said they already started, so I geared up and went out there to find that there was a note on a tree. It said 'Sorry', and then twenty people jumped from bushes and ambushed me. FML
by shitballs_911 / 10/07/2009 at 7:13am / United Kingdom (Kingston upon Thames) / Miscellaneous
Today, I finally found out that someone had stolen my debit card and maxed it out. The good news? Whoever it was forgot to change the address on the card, so everything they bought online has been shipped to me. The bad news? I've received 16 snuggies so far, and I'm still counting. FML
by SnuggieOverload / 09/28/2009 at 4:36pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Money
by Imaginary girlfriend / 09/21/2009 at 12:16am / Love
Today, I rode my bike to work. Once there, I realized I forgot my bike lock. For fear of it being stolen, I quickly rode home and took my car instead. When I got home, I realized my bike was missing. Someone stole it from my backyard. FML
by Anonymous / 07/15/2009 at 3:06am / United States / Transportation
Today, I was on a flight from Chicago to Minneapolis. A rather attractive young lady sitting next to me fell asleep at the beginning of the flight. About 40 minutes into the flight I noticed my fly was open. The lady woke to me with my hands in my crotch struggling to zip up my fly. FML
by saltynutz20 / 04/07/2009 at 2:12pm / United States (Minnesota) / Transportation
Today, I was sitting in Science class and to my surprise I felt my pants suddenly becoming warm and wet. I looked behind me to see that 4 boys from my class had inserted a small funnel into my exposed buttcrack and where pouring the melted butter from the experiment into that area. FML
by Sarah / 03/10/2009 at 1:13pm / United Kingdom (Bolton) / Miscellaneous
Today, I gave my girlfriend some non-alcoholic beer as a joke. In slurred speech, she told me I have the body of a monk seal. She then took my keys, staggered to my car, and drove away. She crashed into a tree two blocks later. She's fine. FML
by IntimidatorStag / 02/06/2009 at 6:54pm / United States (California) / Love
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- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was fired from my job because I, in my bosses words, "Abided by company policy to such an…