Jf770

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Jf770

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 7 October 1996 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3946
  • Number of comments : 102
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 30 posted

About Jf770 : I wil sen rayn of fier dwn upn u

Jf770's page activity

Visits<b>Poyzin7323</b> - the 08/10/2016 at 6:51pm<b>lonelyincrowd</b> - the 07/03/2016 at 10:27pm<b>thatssorylan</b> - the 06/25/2016 at 6:21pm<b>Nahpets</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 12:30am<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 05/06/2016 at 6:29am<b>JadeOmega</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 4:42pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 03/21/2016 at 4:04am<b>alexjoseph5575</b> - the 03/10/2016 at 10:22am<b>syki</b> - the 02/20/2016 at 6:17am<b>hotrodharly4</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 10:53am<b>missmorggan</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 7:20am<b>mistykitten</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 10:11am<b>holymacabre</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 6:26am<b>PlsNarwals</b> - the 11/27/2015 at 11:14pm<b>Zoldyck</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 3:59pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 9:14pm<b>TylerSimpz</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 2:15pm<b>nightwalker52</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 8:21pm

Fucked!<b>JadeOmega</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 10:43pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 03/21/2016 at 9:04am<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 3:15am<b>TylerSimpz</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 8:15pm<b>Pinkgal123</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 6:07am

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Jf770's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to see a fortune teller. She said one of my closest friends will die soon because of me. Frightened I hurried home to avoid meeting anyone I know. At home I found my goldfish floating on its back. Apparently I forgot to feed my closest friend for the past 3 days. FML

by killer / 05/16/2009 at 8:21am / Latvia (Riga) / Animals

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I really get off on hearing her say my name so I was imagining her doing so more often than she actually was. I then called out my own name by accident. FML

by eeh / 05/07/2009 at 10:45am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, was my first meeting with business partners as I am new to the team. Instead of saying that I was looking forward to "stretching my legs" or "spreading my wings", I told them I was anxious to start "spreading my legs". FML

by Anonymous / 05/06/2009 at 2:04am / United States (Minnesota) / Work

Today, I spotted one of my friends using the ATM outside our school's university center. I crept up behind him, grabbed his shoulders abruptly, and shouted in my best deep man-voice, "Give me all your money!" Turned out to be a poor, unsuspecting freshman. He gave me his money. FML

by Anonymous / 04/22/2009 at 10:22pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to dinner with my boyfriend. After we ordered, I started to unzip his fly really slowly. As I put my hand in his boxers, he stands up to greet his mom and dad who were joining us for dinner. FML

by cdoyle / 04/08/2009 at 8:32am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, my friends and me had a little water balloon fight and somehow it led to throwing water balloons at cars. We all decided to hit a car all at once, after one came by we all hit it. The car stopped and started flashing bright blue lights. We ended up hitting an off-duty police car. FML

by AzNFoo / 03/26/2009 at 1:20am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I went to the doctor to find out why I've been feeling so sick the past several weeks. Turns out, I'm severely allergic to the cat of my girlfriend of two years. I told her "It's me or the cat." She chose the cat. FML

by fmlsrsly / 03/25/2009 at 12:43pm / United States (Nebraska) / Love

Today, I wrote my boyfriend a sexy letter designed to arouse him. I described what I wanted us to do to each other in the most erotic way. Later, he came up to me and hugged me, saying it was the funniest thing he ever read and he's glad he's in love with a girl with such a great sense of humor. FML

by Laceylace / 03/22/2009 at 4:40pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

by konens_dick / 03/22/2009 at 6:38am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I fell asleep in class during a boring economics lecture. I heard a whisper say "Rise and shine sleeping beauty." I thought it was my boyfriend, so i responded "Baby, what time is it? When is this F*ing class going to be over!?" it wasnt my boyfriend talking, it was my teacher. FML

by Noname / 03/18/2009 at 11:48am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was sifting through my parents old home movies. I put in one and was horrified to see my parents having sex. I immediately ejected the tape and looked at the label. It said "Bermuda, 1989". They've told me I was conceived in Bermuda around that time. I've seen my own conception. FML

by ihatevideos / 03/16/2009 at 7:08pm / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, at the restaurant where I work, I served a table of 4 middle-age women. Before greeting the table, I was deciding between saying "Can I get you anything to drink?" and "Can I start you off with something?" My actual greeting? "Can I get you ladies off?" FML

by serverdessert / 03/08/2009 at 5:02pm / United States (Maryland) / Work

Today, I was sitting on my 70 year old grandmothers bed with my older brother. I decided to snoop through the cabinet at the back of her bed, and I pulled out what I naively thought was a strange looking flashlight. When I twisted the bottom of it to see what would happen it started vibrating. FML

by You Wish / 03/07/2009 at 2:35am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I was walking through Borders with my girlfriend, when we pass a girl scout cookies stand. I see a box of Samoas, my favorite, point at them, and shout, 'YEAH'. My girlfriend looks shocked. Behind the box of cookies was a five year old scout bending over, with her bottom pointed at me. FML

by Scottrick / 03/01/2009 at 12:55pm / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, my teacher confiscated my cell phone for text messaging. He said he would give it back if the next text that I would receive was important. I prayed the guy I've been texting didn't send the dick pic he said he was going to. He did. FML

by textfail / 02/28/2009 at 12:03pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy