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Jessica00

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Jessica00

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 615
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Jessica00 : I'm not really sure what to write here.

Jessica00's page activity

Visits<b>anonykinetic</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 1:57pm<b>brittaaany_93</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 10:31am<b>skyttlz</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 3:09pm<b>Nordrag</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 11:37pm<b>devildog562</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 7:50pm<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 12:52am<b>Mornai</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 11:44am<b>Trollx</b> - the 05/02/2014 at 10:01am<b>martin8337</b> - the 04/10/2014 at 9:15pm<b>zebralover23</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 2:28am<b>andyhitts25</b> - the 01/10/2014 at 10:47pm<b>PsychoticAsylum</b> - the 10/16/2013 at 2:31pm<b>WhoaIsMe93</b> - the 05/01/2013 at 7:28am<b>dhardesty23</b> - the 03/19/2012 at 9:29pm<b>micahsmommy</b> - the 03/02/2012 at 5:14pm

Jessica00's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of Jessica00's badges

Jessica00's favorite FMLs

Today, I caught my girlfriend Googling how to uninstall Siri. I asked why she wanted to do that, and she said, "I don't like it. I don't like how the slut talks to you." I get the feeling I'll need a gun when I break up with this crazy fucker. FML

#21342067
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31561) - you deserved it (4582)

On 01/22/2015 at 1:41am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boss told me that as funny as it is, it is inappropriate to mock customers with my "fake" Scottish accent. I don't, he refuses to believe that I speak with a Scottish accent. FML

Today, I was fired for "blatant, inexcusable racism". My boss had asked me which website background I preferred for our company, and I said that white backgrounds are usually best. He thinks that I believe in white supremacy, and that's bad for the company's image. FML

#21334747
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31652) - you deserved it (2191)

On 01/10/2015 at 10:02pm - work - by Jem (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my new friend tried to introduce me to "American Culture," as I am new to the city. He explained what a hamburger is and how it differs from the Asian food I was used to eating. I moved from Seattle and have worked at Burger King. FML

#21317624
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32693) - you deserved it (2465)

On 12/14/2014 at 10:30pm - misc - by AsianSensation (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while walking home with my mom, some unoriginal cockshart in a passing car yelled at me: "Fuck her in the pussy!" It was a long, awkward walk home after that. FML

#21308349
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28850) - you deserved it (2488)

On 11/29/2014 at 8:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, a guy asked me out, and I felt butterflies in my stomach. I soon realized that it wasn't butterflies, but an unexpected bowel movement. I stood there awkwardly, looking him in the eyes, then farted hard. FML

#21260355
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41302) - you deserved it (4346)

On 09/17/2014 at 11:14pm - love - by HappilyNeverAfter - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I asked my girlfriend to talk dirty to me. Her response was to impersonate a saxophone. FML

#21250455
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33519) - you deserved it (7687)

On 09/02/2014 at 11:32am - intimacy - by ihatejasonderulo - United Kingdom (Hounslow)

Today, I went to a baseball game with my girlfriend's dad. I got a boner when they sang the anthem, because that's what I sing in my head when having sex with his daughter so I last longer. FML

#21240482
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44705) - you deserved it (16554)

On 08/18/2014 at 12:39pm - intimacy - by embarrassed - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that if I'm not home and my roommates have girls over, my room is the designated "fart room". FML

#21151774
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41684) - you deserved it (4118)

On 05/25/2014 at 11:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I went to a concert with my girlfriend. Turns out that bouncers don't think it's a problem for girls to go up on stage and make out with the musicians. FML

#21151747
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43905) - you deserved it (5356)

On 05/25/2014 at 11:34pm - misc - by Anothermoose - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend went down on me. I don't know why, but my mind wandered. He now thinks that he has the skills of a porn star, while I'm pretty sure that finally solving a mathematical problem I've been working on for a week caused me to orgasm. FML

#20963297
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48372) - you deserved it (8054)

On 11/19/2013 at 12:13pm - intimacy - by you+me-clothes=53>< (woman) - Austria (Wien)

Today, my parents surprised me by redecorating my room. I think they were more surprised by the box of naughty toys under my bed. FML

#20902324
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40291) - you deserved it (9928)

On 09/30/2013 at 6:41pm - intimacy - by A.Summers (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I realized my family is the textbook definition of redneck after listening to my grandpa threaten to smash with an excavator the trailer that my uncle lives in behind our house if he didn't return the set of tires he had stolen and pawned from my grandpa's garage. FML

#20683275
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36059) - you deserved it (3385)

On 05/24/2013 at 3:06am - misc - by redneckfamily - United States (Washington)

Today, both my brother and sister missed my wedding. She was playing in a Call of Duty tournament, and he got so high that he forgot about the wedding completely. He was my best man. FML

#20458912
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46603) - you deserved it (3341)

On 01/14/2013 at 12:36pm - misc - by What a happy day (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend started watching The Big Bang Theory on DVD. Now he won't stop saying "Bazinga" every time he says or hears something that sounds funny. It's so annoying I want to feed him to the neighbor's dog. FML

#20182095
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18859) - you deserved it (4305)

On 11/28/2012 at 12:15am - misc - by FUSheldon (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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