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Jessica00

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Jessica00
  • Town/Country : Narnia, Sweden
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 265
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Jessica00 : No.

Jessica00's last visitors

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Jessica00's FML badges

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Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

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Jessica00's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend of a year broke up with me by saying, "It's not you, it's me. I have a terrible taste in women." FML

#20140004
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21538) - you deserved it (2073)

On 10/30/2012 at 9:27am - love - by LonelyMe -

Today, I got a phone call from my 6-year-old son's school telling me they were concerned about him as he wouldn't stop barking at the radiator. After talking to my husband about it, I found out he's been teaching him so he could see the look on my face. FML

#20121395
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16987) - you deserved it (1549)

On 10/17/2012 at 7:00pm - kids - by Uproar - Iceland

Today, during a family dinner, my favourite underwire bra got tired of its job and tried to shish-kebab my boobs. FML

#20065022
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17515) - you deserved it (1717)

On 09/09/2012 at 5:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a guy said to me, "I'd really love to see that smile back at my place." Trying to be cute, I asked him if he was single. He replied with, "No, but I am a dentist. I could definitely fix that crossbite." FML

#20003299
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20719) - you deserved it (2801)

On 08/05/2012 at 1:23am - health - by wut (woman) - United States

Today, I was at a barbecue with my extended family. I was chatting to my grandma, when my idiotic brother decided to douse the grill with his cola. The hissing sounded so much like a Minecraft creeper that I instinctively screamed and practically shat my pants. FML

#19993096
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8590) - you deserved it (25469)

On 07/30/2012 at 6:21pm - misc - by NaKreen (man) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, I woke up to find my cat has gone into heat. Her favorite thing to do right now is sticking her ass in my face and howling like a Nazgûl. FML

#19992743
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18095) - you deserved it (3863)

On 07/30/2012 at 2:05pm - animals - by soph511 (woman) - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, I asked my best friend if he would do me the honour of becoming my son's godfather. He replied, "Um, that's just rude. You know I'm an atheist." Huh? FML

#19989164
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19675) - you deserved it (7209)

On 07/28/2012 at 2:29pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out my late grandfather left me a significant amount of money in his will. I thought it was weird because he always acted like he hated me. When I got the envelope, there was $500,000 inside, all in Monopoly money. FML

#19961966
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31082) - you deserved it (2702)

On 07/20/2012 at 1:13am - money - by Rachel - United States

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

#19959363
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9356) - you deserved it (32989)

On 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm - misc - by Bontempi (man) - France

Today, I approached a cute girl at a club, when she started barking at me like a rabid dog. Thinking she might be mentally unhinged, I left, only to see the same girl laughing her ass off with her friends minutes later. When I went back over, her friends started barking at me too. FML

#19739013
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19004) - you deserved it (4314)

On 06/05/2012 at 3:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Idaho)

Today, my daughter's bed broke. Trying to see the damage, I lay down on her floor to get a closer look. I saw mountains of condom boxes under there. Now I know why the bed broke. FML

#19646260
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34775) - you deserved it (4742)

On 05/19/2012 at 11:08am - intimacy - by maggierose171 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML

#19623439
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35972) - you deserved it (3780) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/14/2012 at 6:23pm - misc - by lafinesse (woman) -

Today, I found out where all my missing panties have gone, when my 12-year-old daughter was caught selling them to the boys at school. FML

#19598679
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26076) - you deserved it (2795)

On 05/09/2012 at 6:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Egypt (Al Qahirah)

Today, my wife made my hand bleed by stabbing it with a fork. I'd only tried to take some fries from her plate. FML

#19595631
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12857) - you deserved it (26002) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/08/2012 at 11:48pm - misc - by Mouhahaa (man) - France

Today, my boyfriend and I were making love. I was really close to climaxing, when he suddenly stopped, smirked, and said, "Hang on, I'm buffering." FML

#19580511
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27500) - you deserved it (3265)

On 05/06/2012 at 2:39am - intimacy - by Kwalker3 - United States (California)



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