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Jessica00

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Jessica00

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 18 December 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1060
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Jessica00 : I'm not really sure what to write here.

Jessica00's page activity

Visits<b>KayDee29</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 5:54pm<b>sdwsdwsdw</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 5:56pm<b>ThatGingerKid56</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 1:11pm<b>hisfaceallred</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 9:01pm<b>WOTAN1488</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 12:52pm<b>labracabrador</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 5:56pm<b>Sethan01</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 6:04am<b>MattBenid</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 4:53pm<b>Araizaboi</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 3:15pm<b>tournamentdecide</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 8:09pm<b>flupsht</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 9:53am<b>Brieza91</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 12:58pm<b>z3r0d4z3</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 1:21am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 9:12pm<b>Horsempeg</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 10:24pm<b>Garrett2818</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 2:09pm<b>erichanoki</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 9:39am<b>brittaaany_93</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 9:40am

Fucked!<b>tournamentdecide</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 2:09am<b>davered89</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 2:58pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 02/01/2015 at 10:45pm

Jessica00's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of Jessica00's badges

Jessica00's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked outside to get the paper, and saw a dying bird I assumed had flown into the window. It was warm so I thought it might still be alive. I wasn't wearing my glasses though, and was trying to nurse a dog turd back to life. FML

#21420933
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25586) - you deserved it (9799)

On 06/04/2015 at 10:17pm - animals - by nerderer (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I walked in on my roommate with her ass cheeks spread wide, and her friend ripping a strip of wax off of her while wearing a headlamp flashlight to see if she "got it all". FML

#21420563
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30171) - you deserved it (3299)

On 06/04/2015 at 3:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I'm warning you: never spoon naked with your girlfriend after eating taco bell. The shartpocalypse just might begin in her ass and end on your stomach. FML

#21420039
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29422) - you deserved it (3952)

On 06/03/2015 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the phone kept ringing so I picked it up and answered. When there was no response, it took a minute to realize that I was still in bed and talking to my hand. FML

#21418531
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24754) - you deserved it (4372)

On 05/31/2015 at 11:51am - misc - by Sleepy (woman) - United States (Armed Forces Europe, Middle East)

Today, I was supporting my aunt as she gave birth. She was getting tired during the pushing stage, so I tried to encourage her by making a show of pushing as well with each contraction. I got a little too into it and accidentally gave birth to a little turd of my own. FML

Today, I had to slowly explain to my brother that spooning has nothing to do with using a spoon to clean out a woman's vagina after sex. FML

#21410748
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32688) - you deserved it (2390)

On 05/15/2015 at 10:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, once again, I explained that yes, I'm Russian. No, I'm not a communist. No, I don't pray to a picture of Putin riding a bear. And no, I don't have any vodka on me. FML

#21408243
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30657) - you deserved it (3025)

On 05/11/2015 at 2:59am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my girlfriend and I somehow got into the conversation of what the weirdest thing we have ever found in food was. She said she found paper in her fortune cookie; she was serious. FML

#21406274
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28615) - you deserved it (2501)

On 05/07/2015 at 3:52pm - misc - by Random737193 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend complained that I only respond to his flirtations with exasperation and annoyance. Apparently, grunting and humping my leg like an ill-mannered dog while I'm trying to wash dishes is his way of flirting. FML

#21405919
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29847) - you deserved it (3172)

On 05/06/2015 at 10:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I pulled a piece of dental floss out of my ass. How it got there is one of life's great mysteries. FML

#21403757
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31507) - you deserved it (4633)

On 05/03/2015 at 3:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I brought my girlfriend home to introduce to my parents. My dad thought it would be hilarious to fill some clear bags full of flour, then pretend he was sampling a cocaine shipment when she arrived. She excused herself very quickly and isn't answering my calls. FML

#21399378
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31208) - you deserved it (2499)

On 04/25/2015 at 6:34am - love - by a critically injured shitehawk (man) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, my husband was involved in a horrible series of accidents; he repeatedly slipped and fell into my best friend's vagina. FML

#21382840
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45713) - you deserved it (3348)

On 03/28/2015 at 5:20am - intimacy - by soontobewidow (woman) - Turkey (Istanbul)

Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my parents. My dad thought it'd be hilarious to act surprised and ask me if I'd already dumped the girlfriend I introduced him to yesterday. She slapped me and stormed out of the house before my dad could tell her it was a joke. FML

#21378402
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32100) - you deserved it (2164)

On 03/20/2015 at 1:50pm - love - by not picking up (man) - Slovenia (Skofljica)

Today, my mom and I made the bad decision to go hiking for some mother-daughter bonding even though we had little experience. My mother tumbled down a mountain named Tumbledown and I couldn't even enjoy the irony because I had to half carry her all the way back to the car. FML

#21375957
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27624) - you deserved it (3300)

On 03/16/2015 at 8:56pm - health - by manderpander21 - United States (New York)

Today, I decided to show up early for work and really try to get off my manager's shit-list. On my way to work, my manager called to bitch me out for already being 30 minutes late. Yeah, I forgot about Daylight Savings Time. FML

#21370481
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31897) - you deserved it (27)

On 03/08/2015 at 12:42pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States



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