About JessBassett : Currently studying Justice at UofGH :)
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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
JessBassett's favorite FMLs
Today, I parked my motorcycle in a parking spot. When I came back, my bike had been moved and was laying on its side with a note saying, "Sorry I dropped your motorcycle I was trying to move it forward so I could park my car because there weren't any other spots." FML
by AJL / 07/03/2014 at 9:30pm / United States / Transportation
Today, I finally decided to get my five-year-old son a rabbit, so I explained to him how to take care of it. When I'd finished listing all the things he'd have to do, he replied, "That's too complicated... Couldn't we just eat it instead?" FML
by Anonyme / 05/16/2014 at 3:55am / Canada (Quebec) / Animals
Today, I finished building a porch I've worked hard on for the past 2 weeks, and I was very proud on how amazing it turned out. Within 20 minutes of it being completed, my pregnant dog decided to crawl underneath it to have her puppies. I had to take half the porch apart to get to her and them. FML
by Anonymous / 04/22/2014 at 10:46pm / United States / Animals
by Venus / 03/13/2014 at 6:28pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by wtf / 01/10/2014 at 11:47am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, while my hometown mayor becomes a world-famous crackhead and douche-bag, here in the UK it has come to this: when people hear my accent and ask me if I'm American, it's less embarrassing just to say, "Yeah", rather than admit I'm Canadian. FML
by unproud / 11/15/2013 at 2:05am / United Kingdom (Luton) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/14/2013 at 10:08pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love
by Alice99 / 11/12/2013 at 12:39pm / United States (Washington) / Love
Today, I was watching some episodes of The Walking Dead with my boyfriend, after recently introducing him to the series. A scene involving Carl came on, and my boyfriend said, "God damn. You ever give me a kid that annoying, I'll shoot both of ya right in the head." FML
by kel / 11/08/2013 at 6:50pm / United Kingdom (Coventry) / Love
Today, I sat down with my daughter to have the sex talk, because she recently started seeing a guy. I mentioned at one point how disappointed I would be if she got pregnant. She went wide-eyed and asked, "Didn't mom tell you?" FML
by unknown / 11/02/2013 at 5:10pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids
Today, I was refereeing a soccer match and I called a foul. An angry coach kept screaming at me, saying "You're crazy!" I asked him to leave the field. As he left, he lifted his middle finger and screamed, "FUCK YOU!" I ref 5-year-olds. FML
by Anonymous / 10/29/2013 at 12:21pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/19/2013 at 1:34am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, my mother kept nagging at me because my 9-month-old daughter only calms down when I play her metal. She demands I use gospel, otherwise she will turn into a "devil-worshipping lunatic like her mother". FML
by SlapAndTickle / 10/10/2013 at 11:04pm / United States / Kids
by Ashley / 10/07/2013 at 2:11am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I started to come to during dental surgery. I clearly heard someone behind me say "Shit! Get this fucker back under!" then another person mentioning they'd have to kill me to avoid "another lawsuit", followed by laughter and the blackness of sleep. FML
by Anonymous / 10/06/2013 at 5:49pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
- Today, my dad gave me the sex talk. After telling me all the stuff I already knew, he told me never… Today, what my friends call my "resting bitch face" freaked my boyfriend out enough during sex that… Today, my boyfriend insisted that we try phone sex. He started telling me all the things he wanted…