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Jebuz

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Jebuz
  • Town/Country : Australia
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1400
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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Jebuz's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried convincing my Valentine-hating boyfriend to send me a card, by explaining how important it is to me. He finally agreed and sent me a card. I opened it up, and it wished me 'harmony and well-being on Lupercalia'. What is Lupercalia? It's an ancient Roman festival where men run down the street naked, whipping people with goat skins to encourage fertility. FML

#8250331
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7115) - you deserved it (29941)

On 02/14/2010 at 1:56pm - love - by CrappyValentine (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I was walking on a busy street. I saw this beautiful blonde walking across the street and a car was coming. I wanted to be like in the movies where the guy pushes the girl out of the way so she doesn't get hit. I accidentally pushed her the wrong way. Right into the car. FML

#5107087
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10497) - you deserved it (67431)

On 09/07/2009 at 3:21pm - misc - by ilovefootball (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my mum grounded me for going to my boyfriend's house instead of the library. She said my boyfriend's mum phoned up because she could hear us having it off in his room. When I denied it my mum shouted at me for being a liar as well as a slut. I did go to the library. FML

#5103491
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73225) - you deserved it (3472)

On 09/07/2009 at 11:39am - love - by SingleGirl (woman) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I decided to lay out topless in my fenced-in backyard. For about an hour, everything was going great until I sneezed and my creepy, middle-aged neighbor said "bless you". From my bushes. FML

#4998689
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42197) - you deserved it (12444)

On 09/02/2009 at 1:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my fiancé, his mother, my father and I went out to celebrate my birthday and our recent engagement. After dinner, my father and future mother-in-law revealed to us that they had secretly been dating and were talking about also getting married. Anybody want cake? FML

#4996665
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41790) - you deserved it (2331)

On 09/02/2009 at 10:47am - love - by BDayssuck (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my best friend thought it would be funny push me off my bike. He thought it was even funnier when the paramedic accidentally dropped me. FML

#4983911
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40105) - you deserved it (2394)

On 09/01/2009 at 8:04pm - health - by Misterhippo (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and his parents met my family. My grandpa thought it would be funny to walk around with a realistic gun and make references about being in the mafia. The rest of my family went along with it. FML

#4782445
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35210) - you deserved it (4629)

On 08/24/2009 at 11:35am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my husband and I were in bed, and just as I was about to finish he screamed, "Oh shit! It's 4:15, my strawberries are gonna whither!!!!" and then jumped off me and went to check on his farm on FarmVille. An imaginary farm, on Facebook. FML

#4679232
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74558) - you deserved it (5747)

On 08/20/2009 at 10:51am - love - by demk (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I needed new business cards so I went to design and print some. After I designed, I was happy with them and printed off 100 copies. I live at a place called Canal Rocks. I forgot the 'C'. I now have 76 business cards which say 'anal rocks.' I already distributed 24. FML

#4678208
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12839) - you deserved it (33178)

On 08/20/2009 at 9:23am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was at a local chinese restaurant with two of my friends. We were laughing hysterically when my friend tells me to stop making her laugh because she was going to puke, naturally I kept egging it on. She puked all over the table and I was laughing so hard that I peed my pants. FML

#4672894
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7752) - you deserved it (55368)

On 08/20/2009 at 1:30am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I received a text from my girlfriend to break up with me. I was upset. One minute later another text from her said "sorry, wrong person." FML

#4618484
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56552) - you deserved it (2870)

On 08/18/2009 at 1:06am - misc - by Anonymous - Kazakhstan (Almaty)

Today, I asked my friends what NNAS was code for. They have been using this for about a month. After bothering one of them for a few hours, he finally told me. NNAS stands for Nataly Needs A Shower. I'm Nataly. FML

#4617560
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12332) - you deserved it (42761)

On 08/18/2009 at 12:38am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I finally worked up the nerve to text the girl I've had a crush on to ask her on a date. I got back the reply, "Error message 3265: Number No Longer In Swrvice." Not only can she not spell, when I looked it up, "error 3265" doesn't even exist. FML

#4606159
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66128) - you deserved it (7628)

On 08/17/2009 at 5:41pm - love - by ZSL (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at the beach with friends and I fell asleep while I was tanning. When I woke up, everyone was laughing hysterically. I asked what was so funny, and one of my friends replies, "you farted so loud in your sleep that you woke yourself up." FML

#4440172
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44695) - you deserved it (6833)

On 08/11/2009 at 12:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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