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Jdeluxh's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 07/24/2011 at 4:21pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by jab43 / 07/22/2011 at 8:57pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
by ugly / 07/10/2011 at 2:03am / United States (New York) / Transportation
Today, marks the seventh day of having my nose pierced. I'd done everything I was supposed to do, even sleeping with a band-aid over it. This morning, I woke up to my piercing being ripped out by my pillow, and the band-aid nowhere in sight. FML
by meggiemouse / 07/09/2011 at 2:00pm / United States (North Carolina) / Health
by parenting sucks / 07/01/2011 at 1:42pm / United States (New York) / Kids
Today, I finally started my dream job. I turned up for work with a huge smile on my face. Imagine how much my face dropped when I saw that I had to share an office with the girl I stood up last weekend. FML
Today, I had to buy a wrist splint for my carpal tunnel syndrome. Not because I'm a computer programmer or some hot shot web designer but because I spend ALL of my time playing Solitaire on my laptop. FML
by 16seconds / 02/07/2010 at 8:56pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Nomoretexting / 11/01/2009 at 12:35am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I ran to a public bathroom because of explosive diarrhea. In the middle of it, I noticed there was no more toilet paper nor paper towels remaining. The smallest bill in my wallet was a 5. I had to pay 10 dollars to wipe my own butt. FML
by highleyj / 04/01/2009 at 4:16am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I finally convinced a girl that I liked to have sex. I decided to swoop her off the feet like the movies and carry her to my bed. I ended up hitting her head on the door frame, knocking her out. FML
by Anonymous / 03/29/2009 at 3:09pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I work in a grocery store and a woman suffering from diarrhea somehow managed to get shit up and down two of the store aisles, then go to the ladies room and mess up the stall. I was the only one working trained in deal with bio-hazardous waste so I had to clean it up. FML
by frenchy / 03/24/2009 at 1:47am / United States (Wisconsin) / Work
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…