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Jdeluxh's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 07/24/2011 at 4:21pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by jab43 / 07/22/2011 at 8:57pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
by ugly / 07/10/2011 at 2:03am / United States (New York) / Transportation
Today, marks the seventh day of having my nose pierced. I'd done everything I was supposed to do, even sleeping with a band-aid over it. This morning, I woke up to my piercing being ripped out by my pillow, and the band-aid nowhere in sight. FML
by meggiemouse / 07/09/2011 at 2:00pm / United States (North Carolina) / Health
by parenting sucks / 07/01/2011 at 1:42pm / United States (New York) / Kids
Today, I finally started my dream job. I turned up for work with a huge smile on my face. Imagine how much my face dropped when I saw that I had to share an office with the girl I stood up last weekend. FML
Today, I had to buy a wrist splint for my carpal tunnel syndrome. Not because I'm a computer programmer or some hot shot web designer but because I spend ALL of my time playing Solitaire on my laptop. FML
by 16seconds / 02/07/2010 at 8:56pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Nomoretexting / 11/01/2009 at 12:35am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I ran to a public bathroom because of explosive diarrhea. In the middle of it, I noticed there was no more toilet paper nor paper towels remaining. The smallest bill in my wallet was a 5. I had to pay 10 dollars to wipe my own butt. FML
by highleyj / 04/01/2009 at 4:16am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I finally convinced a girl that I liked to have sex. I decided to swoop her off the feet like the movies and carry her to my bed. I ended up hitting her head on the door frame, knocking her out. FML
by Anonymous / 03/29/2009 at 3:09pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I work in a grocery store and a woman suffering from diarrhea somehow managed to get shit up and down two of the store aisles, then go to the ladies room and mess up the stall. I was the only one working trained in deal with bio-hazardous waste so I had to clean it up. FML
by frenchy / 03/24/2009 at 1:47am / United States (Wisconsin) / Work
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I moved three hours away from my boyfriend for college. Even though he got accepted to the…
- Today, I told my boyfriend I wanted to spice up our sex life. He suggested incorporating bacon. He… Today, my incredibly self conscious girlfriend decided to get over her fears and let me see her in… Today, I felt kind of horny for once, so I texted my boyfriend to let him know he'd be getting some…