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Today, my girlfriend woke me up at 5 am because she thought someone was watching her from the park. It was a trash can. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20430) - you deserved it (2223)
On 08/18/2011 at 6:02am - misc - by boyfriend123 - United States
Today, I met my new neighbor. His wi-fi access point is named "TheRapistDownstairs." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31176) - you deserved it (2512)
On 08/15/2011 at 8:30pm - misc - by creepedoutlady - United States
Today, after pulling an all-nighter, I fell asleep at the beach. My friends took the opportunity to bury me in the sand, place food all around me, and wait for a flock of hungry seagulls to attack me. To top it off, they taped it all. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23729) - you deserved it (5126)
On 08/13/2011 at 3:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my neighbor from across the road phoned me at work telling me there was a fire engine outside my house and a lot of smoke. I drove home in a panic, smashing a rear light on a post and getting flashed by a speed camera. It wasn't my house. The firemen were putting out a bonfire next door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18828) - you deserved it (4256)
On 08/08/2011 at 7:07am - misc - by wahhh (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, at my workplace, a TV was installed just above my register at work which plays the same mind-numbingly awful 13 second ad on loop for the duration of our latest sale. The sale lasts for what are going to be three very long weeks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19725) - you deserved it (1711)
Today, at my workplace, a TV was installed just above my register at work which plays the same mind-numbingly awful 13 second ad on loop for the duration of our latest sale. The sale lasts for what are going to be three very long weeks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19725) - you deserved it (1711)
Today, I took my clothes off in front of my girlfriend for the first time. She made a weird face for a moment, then burst into laughter. She couldn't stop laughing, no matter how hard she tried. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30411) - you deserved it (3919)
On 08/07/2011 at 3:43pm - intimacy - by Eddie (man) - Israel (HaMerkaz)
Today, I took my kids to the circus. We were having fun, right up until the point they saw an old man dressed as a clown, at which point they screamed, grabbed onto my shorts, and managed to accidentally pull them down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18942) - you deserved it (2513)
On 08/07/2011 at 1:14pm - kids - by SheaLili - United States (California)
Today, I took my new boyfriend to a family dinner. Despite having made everyone agree to be on their best behavior, my grandma spewed obscenities such as "fuck me sideways, aren't you a catch?" and "you just can't pull ass like that at my age" throughout. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23457) - you deserved it (2702)
On 08/05/2011 at 8:24pm - intimacy - by moonstone15 (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, the closest I came to doing something that could be vaguely construed as "constructive" was wanking and crying. Sometimes simultaneously. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8367) - you deserved it (16230)
On 08/03/2011 at 11:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom
Today, my boyfriend and I snuck into the bathroom together at his house for a quickie. Just as we unzipped our pants, his step-dad knocked on the door. Panicking, I jumped into the closet to hide. When his step-dad came in, he went to put some towels away. In the closet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11356) - you deserved it (32830)
On 08/03/2011 at 1:03pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I finally started doing cardio and getting in shape. What motivated me to do it? Watching a zombie movie. The slow ones bite the dust first. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21620) - you deserved it (7042)
On 08/03/2011 at 12:55pm - health - by indierocklove - United States (Virginia)
Today, in health class, I raised my hand and asked if you could get an STD from dogs. I have officially now ruined any extremely small chance I had of being popular. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8022) - you deserved it (52711)
On 07/30/2011 at 12:38am - animals - by loser4life - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was helping clean my grandpa's garage when I found some of his old election posters from the '50s. They included slogans such as, "Dick: you know it feels right" and "Want growth? Choose Dick." I'm not sure whether to be disgusted or impressed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20615) - you deserved it (3170)
On 07/27/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Nick (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I saw my picture in an architecture magazine. I'm not an architect. I was walking up a flight of "magnificently built" stairs as my skirt lifted to show an absence of underwear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15033) - you deserved it (25080)
On 07/26/2011 at 12:22pm - misc - by crotchshothottie - United States
Friday 24 May 2013
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