Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Jays7

Search for a member

Jays7
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1757
  • Number of comments : 30
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About Jays7 : Meh

Jays7's last visitors

ilovemonkeybuttsGift_of_humorCheersForRevengegej12345thethirdtheaadam97UnoriGalSleepWalken

Jays7's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Jays7's favorite FMLs

Today, I popped a boner while my braces were being tightened. FML

#18309491
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27824) - you deserved it (5312)

On 11/21/2011 at 5:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I discovered my wife and I have referred to our two-year-old as 'cutie' or 'beautiful' so many times she won't respond to her own name. FML

#18304597
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9757) - you deserved it (27180)

On 11/21/2011 at 1:23am - kids - by BadFather (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was doing the reverse cowgirl with my boyfriend. I was on the way to a glorious finish when he pointed out that I had a pimple on my butt. He began to laugh so hard that he went soft. FML

#18271513
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31742) - you deserved it (4160)

On 11/17/2011 at 9:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I got into a car accident. The other party left the scene immediately after without exchanging insurance information. Deer can be so rude. FML

#18267814
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24043) - you deserved it (7451)

On 11/16/2011 at 9:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was reading a book in German, which I don't know very well. Suddenly I reached a passage I had no trouble understanding. Excited, I showed my husband, saying I was finally getting the hang of it. He laughed and patted my head. Turns out, that particular passage was a quote. In English. FML

#18266824
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8385) - you deserved it (31088)

On 11/16/2011 at 7:37pm - misc - by dunicha - United States (Texas)

Today, I have two black eyes. The first one I got from the girl whose ass I mistakenly grabbed at a party last night. The other one I got from my girlfriend when I explained the first one. FML

#18240312
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12790) - you deserved it (21722)

On 11/13/2011 at 7:11pm - misc - by ThatHurts (man) - Canada

Today, my daughter asked me how to spell "Orange". "O-R-A-N-G-E" I replied. Without missing a beat, she says "No, I mean the colour, not the fruit." She is 16. FML

#18234448
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35195) - you deserved it (5504)

On 11/13/2011 at 1:53am - kids - by weswithaute - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I sent the texts "I love and miss you babe;)." and "Shit wrong person." to my ex just so he would think I have a life. FML

#18234157
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16292) - you deserved it (53581)

On 11/13/2011 at 1:16am - love - by random person - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out that my 20-year-old boyfriend won't touch my boobs because he is afraid his parents will find out. FML

#18203488
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39008) - you deserved it (4723)

On 11/09/2011 at 5:48pm - intimacy - by Great... (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to let my 19-month-old son watch me pee, since I'm trying to potty train him. I didn't consider that he might try to grab my penis. When he did, I was startled and peed all over the floor and my son. Good job dad. FML

#18202922
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24847) - you deserved it (17023)

On 11/09/2011 at 4:52pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. My mum walked in and told him to pull out and show her that he was wearing a condom, and not just saying he was. FML

#18200253
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48694) - you deserved it (6227)

On 11/09/2011 at 7:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my baby son latched onto my nipple for a feed, after a month of having to be bottle fed because he wouldn't latch. This would be fantastic, if it weren't for the fact that I'm his father, not his mother. FML

#18191670
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35907) - you deserved it (3595)

On 11/08/2011 at 9:01am - kids - by possiblyoverweight (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying to have sex with a piece of fruit. FML

#18190231
321 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39079) - you deserved it (7374)

On 11/08/2011 at 1:11am - intimacy - by lunarstrain - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I found out my soon to be ex-husband is going to be a father. We spent our entire marriage unsuccessfully trying for a baby. The mother of his unborn child isn't his new girlfriend, but someone else he was cheating on her with. Our divorce isn't even finalized yet. FML

#18184829
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31542) - you deserved it (2613)

On 11/07/2011 at 3:48pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was in an elevator with my girlfriend when it suddenly stopped. Thinking of being spontaneous like in all the movies, I propped her up on the railings and started getting passionate. That's when the emergency phone rang. And I discovered there was a security camera. FML

#18167673
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12433) - you deserved it (24701)

On 11/05/2011 at 8:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Reserved



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: