JayJavaMonsterr

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JayJavaMonsterr

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 17 November 1996 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4046
  • Number of comments : 61
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About JayJavaMonsterr : Awesomeness & swag define ME ;)
*RAWR*
I dont give a sh*t about what people think of me.
Monster is SEXY! Especially the JavaMonsters xD

JayJavaMonsterr's page activity

Visits<b>pugthedestroyer</b> - the 03/24/2013 at 10:43pm<b>aus_r34p3r</b> - the 04/24/2012 at 2:01am<b>kylesgirlforever</b> - the 04/12/2012 at 1:26am<b>Nyxeon</b> - the 02/06/2012 at 2:05pm

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JayJavaMonsterr's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. He picked me up and threw me over his shoulder to take me to his room. He wasn't careful enough, and dropped me right on my head, on the hardwood floor. I ended up vomiting and came down with a headache. He still wanted to have sex. FML

by manhandled / 02/01/2012 at 1:05pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I was breaking into a house when three police cruisers pulled up. They ran my social, my license plates, and asked me twenty minutes worth of questions, before allowing me to go back to work. I work as a locksmith; the homeowner had lost their keys. FML

by ABBenzin / 02/01/2012 at 11:11am / United States / Work

Today, I picked up a prostitute. The prostitute was my sister, and I picked her up from jail. FML

by Anonymous / 02/01/2012 at 10:01am / United States / Intimacy

Today, while helping my mom to cook, I was reminded that when the fire alarm goes off in our house, dinner is ready. FML

by JohhnyKeroscene / 02/01/2012 at 7:21am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my nap was cut short by three bricks flying through my window. FML

by dammit / 02/01/2012 at 3:22am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, it was my first time having sex with this guy. After a few second he stops, sits in the corner of his room buff-naked, with his knees up and his hands on his face. He then pouts and claims it was his worst performance ever. FML

by crybaby / 02/01/2012 at 3:19am / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy

Today, I had to sit my 13-year-old son down and explain to him that I'd noticed that his pajamas feel a little "crispy" when I pick them up to do the laundry, and ask if he could start using tissues when having some "alone time." FML

by stainseverywhere / 02/01/2012 at 2:11am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, while driving to work in heavy traffic, I got so into the song I was listening to that I tapped my foot on the gas to the beat. I rear-ended the car in front of me. FML

by Anonymous / 01/31/2012 at 8:11pm / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I had a quicky with my boyfriend, because his dad was about to pick him up. Afterwards, I texted: "Nice to meet your dad, hope we didn't look too heated." A few minutes later, he replied: "Great timing, he was holding my phone." FML

by B / 01/31/2012 at 3:36pm / Netherlands / Intimacy

Today, I went to see a doctor about some of the memory problems I've been having. After the appointment, I could barely remember a thing he told me. FML

by louie / 01/31/2012 at 3:17pm / United States (Oregon) / Health

Today, I was texting the guy I like. He's really smart, funny, athletic, and cute. This all changed when he told me he was jacking off. FML

by idrathernotgiveoutmyname / 01/30/2012 at 9:50pm / Canada / Intimacy

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML

by ugh / 01/30/2012 at 7:25pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I cut my finger with a plastic knife while demonstrating that you can't cut yourself with a plastic knife. FML

by cbad / 01/30/2012 at 10:27am / United States / Health

Today, I was left at the altar. For the second time. By the same man. FML

by givingup / 01/30/2012 at 12:37am / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, I arrived at the pizza place I work at to find that I'd been fired. Apparently, the class stoner came in last night and not only demanded a free pizza, but also claimed that I always gave him one. I've never talked to this kid in my life, but my boss still doesn't believe me. FML

by LowerCrust / 01/29/2012 at 9:36pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work