JackZ333

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JackZ333

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2635
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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JackZ333's page activity

Visits<b>149967</b> - the 10/13/2013 at 8:05pm<b>jaffvis</b> - the 07/23/2013 at 10:51pm<b>haylburg</b> - the 07/18/2013 at 1:32am<b>semper_amo</b> - the 06/04/2013 at 10:36pm<b>nicolemadden</b> - the 04/28/2013 at 8:23am<b>Welshite</b> - the 04/26/2013 at 10:41pm<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 04/24/2013 at 4:16pm<b>satanic</b> - the 04/02/2013 at 4:15pm<b>SierraaaNicoleee</b> - the 03/22/2013 at 8:02pm<b>martinez121797</b> - the 03/16/2013 at 12:24am<b>Nsswimmer</b> - the 03/09/2013 at 8:28am<b>FMLandFYL2_xoxo</b> - the 01/24/2013 at 9:44pm

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JackZ333's favorite FMLs

Today, I found a website that lets you write an email to yourself from "the past". I used my boss's address, and wrote a long email about how much I hate him, signed from me. It worked, and he'll receive it in 6 months, after I move away. He's already received the confirmation email, though. FML

by Alex / 07/15/2009 at 4:17pm / United States (Virginia) / Work

Today, I was babysitting. The kids were thirsty, so I poured them both a cup of the green juice I'd found in a jug in their fridge. They downed it in a flash. It wasn't until later on after I'd poured myself a cup and taken a sip, I realized I had given them margarita mix. The kids are 4 and 2. FML

by smth / 07/05/2009 at 10:39pm / United States (Utah) / Kids

Today, I called my Dad to wish him happy birthday. The phone was disconnected, so I called my sister to see what his cell was. She then informed me that our Dad was in jail for selling shrooms to teenagers at a music festival out of state. FML

by shroomda / 06/29/2009 at 3:29am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I picked up my 17 years old daughter after a late night movie in down town and got pulled over by a cop. He questioned us for a solicitation. I told the cop that she was my daughter but he said "so you are the daddy" and laughed. Good to know that my daughter looks like a ho and I a perv. FML

by enderw / 06/16/2009 at 1:22pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

by badmom / 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy

Today, my last task for the day as a high school janitor was to power-wash the concrete area where the graduation ceremony will take place. Tired and bored, I drew a huge penis with the power hose. Right before I was going to wash it off, the machine broke. Graduation is tomorrow. FML

by waterproblem / 05/27/2009 at 7:10pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death", otherwise known as my dildo. FML

by a / 05/21/2009 at 3:18pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Intimacy

Today, I told my parents that I was going out with my boyfriend and they agreed to let me go as long as I was home by midnight. Did I come home on time? Yes. Was my shirt right side out? No. FML

by insideout / 05/10/2009 at 4:25pm / United States (Connecticut) / Intimacy

Today, I was on a small plane. A flight attendant told us that there was too much weight in the front of the plane and they needed 3 people to move to the back of the plane. I volunteer and walk to the back. She says, "Okay, we're going to need 1 more person." FML

by Anonymous / 04/13/2009 at 12:39am / United States (North Carolina) / Health

Today, my ten year old son realized something. Beer is alcohol. People who drink a lot of alcohol are alcoholics. Therefore I am an alcoholic for drinking beer with dinner. He told everyone at his conservative private school and they tried to have an intervention. They pray for me every day. FML

by cxcrktkt / 04/12/2009 at 12:44am / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I saw the blueprints for my family's new house. My room is half the size of the room next to it. The room next to it is my step mom's walk-in closet. FML

by Powerfool / 04/07/2009 at 6:07am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, these kids in my math class told me to ask this girl if I could lick her clit. I basically yelled, "What's a clit?" Everyone looked at me. I'm a senior in high school, no one has yet to explain it to me. I had to google it when I got home. FML

by danmarino / 03/09/2009 at 7:29pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy

Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML

by Noname / 03/06/2009 at 2:04pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, in biology class, I kept seeing a fly mosquito buzzing past my face and I kept trying to swat at it... only to realize that it was a ceiling sprinkler that was about 10 feet away. I have no depth perception. FML

by Mith / 02/04/2009 at 5:56am / Poland (Wielkopolskie) / Animals

Today, the bank I use lost 5 billion. FML

by Marco / 10/13/2008 at 4:29am / Money