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JackZ333's FML badges
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JackZ333's favorite FMLs
Today, I woke up after a few friends came over last night. There are eggs, coins and Oreos glued to the ceiling, 10 broken jars, no food left, and most of the contents of my house are in the garden. And I'm naked and covered in permanent marker drawings of Pokémon. My parents return in an hour. FML
by danii / 10/03/2011 at 9:19pm / Reserved / Miscellaneous
by kdmoney / 09/23/2011 at 2:16am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by ohgodwhy / 09/18/2011 at 5:16pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous
by Godsfavourite / 09/14/2011 at 1:42am / Australia (Victoria) / Transportation
by doughgirl101 / 09/07/2011 at 1:59am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
by May / 09/04/2011 at 12:08am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, I played a Jazz gig. It rained, making the tent the band performed under heavy with water. When I stepped forward to play my solo, the front end of the tent collapsed under the weight of the rain, drenching me. FML
by TheJazzKid / 08/29/2011 at 11:56pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/01/2011 at 4:32am / Australia (Victoria) / Health
Today, my mother won't give me any painkillers for my migraine. She believes that "When medicine goes into your stomach, the acids stop the medicine from working" and that "It's all in people's heads when medicine works". FML
by Live02Dance / 06/25/2011 at 8:58am / United States (Virginia) / Health
Today, I found out that as a supervisor, if you reprimand a female worker and end the conversation with "Now get back to making sandwiches." your boss will consider it sexism and suspend you. I work at Subway. FML
by MakeMeASandwich / 06/10/2011 at 1:01am / United States (Illinois) / Work
by Anonymous / 05/26/2011 at 1:54pm / United States (Wyoming) / Miscellaneous
Today, after eighteen years of living with my adoptive parents, I met my biological mum for the first time. She's a forty year old, 300lb American woman who wears 'Twilight' t-shirts and will be spending the rest of her visit to the UK trying to find Robert Pattinson. She says I remind her of herself. FML
by Adoptee / 05/22/2011 at 7:09pm / United Kingdom (Leicestershire) / Kids
Today, I was answering a text from one of my students asking me if they could re-take a test. I thought I'd texted back "No, you can't." Auto correct had used a more frequently used word: "No, you cunt." FML
by Anonymous / 03/03/2011 at 6:22am / United States (California) / Work
Today, I broke my arm. When I got home from the doctors with my cast, I fell asleep on the couch from the medicine. When I woke up, there were swastikas, "I love the KKK", and multiple penises written all over my cast. My dad thought it would be funny. FML
by Mervin22 / 01/28/2011 at 11:10pm / Australia (Victoria) / Health
by Anonymous / 10/29/2010 at 9:21pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…
- Today, I got braces. When I showed my mom, she said, "At least you'll lose weight because you can't… Today, after getting out a low security psychiatric unit two weeks ago and returning to work after… Today, I had to serve a man with a Nazi Eagle tattoo on one arm and an SS tattoo on the other, and…