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JMaC8896

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JMaC8896

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 8 December 1994 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 122
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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JMaC8896's page activity

Visits<b>leann16</b> - the 04/13/2013 at 6:55pm<b>LiveLoveBeatles</b> - the 04/12/2013 at 2:13am<b>pillowcases</b> - the 04/12/2013 at 1:01am<b>appelflap</b> - the 04/08/2013 at 7:25pm

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JMaC8896's favorite FMLs

Today, I was buying condoms at Walmart. I grabbed the XL size, and the cashier commented, "Ahh, you'll definitely need a smaller size." FML

#20573161
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32641) - you deserved it (14101)

On 04/03/2013 at 12:57pm - misc - by nottoosmall - United States

Today, I was playing Slender, when I caught a glimpse of the Slenderman. I jumped in my chair, letting rip a huge fart in the process. Nobody heard it, but only because my shrieks of terror drowned out the sound. FML

#20498426
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21695) - you deserved it (8429)

On 02/08/2013 at 4:59pm - misc - by theydidsmellitthough (man) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today, my husband started a conversation with, "In Pokémon" and ended the same conversation with "and that's why we should divorce." FML

#20495499
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43165) - you deserved it (4017)

On 02/06/2013 at 8:38am - love - by PokeWife (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, the rollercoaster I was on stuck upside down for a few minutes. I shat myself in terror. Then, gravity took effect. FML

#20480979
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40155) - you deserved it (9573)

On 01/27/2013 at 6:10am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex when the condom broke. He told me to go put a tampon in to "soak up the kids". How did he graduate? FML

#20186465
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41973) - you deserved it (6608)

On 12/01/2012 at 9:54am - intimacy - by me. - United States

Today, my 18-year old son decided to run his hand over our wooden fence to try and get a splinter, as he "forgot what they felt like." Last month, he stabbed himself in the arm with a sewing needle because he "forgot what an injection feels like." I raised this idiot. FML

#19159270
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32167) - you deserved it (7763)

On 02/25/2012 at 6:25am - misc - by badmom (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I was helping first-graders do school work when one of them stabbed me in the face with a pencil, all because I told her that a three was backwards. FML

#18396492
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27778) - you deserved it (3028)

On 11/30/2011 at 6:46pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my grandpa told me what he'd do if he was president. I sat there for 30 minutes listening to how he'd get rid of prisons, send all the prisoners to a desert for 5 years and give them a gun to fight over. And then he'd surgically attach child molesters' penises to their foreheads. FML

#17556947
403 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30167) - you deserved it (5654)

On 08/23/2011 at 10:46am - intimacy - by Andrew (man) - United States

Today, I was running late for school because I had a huge stomach ache. To save on time, I took a taxi. When the taxi driver hit a bump, I lost control of my bowels and shit myself. Not only do I have to wash my underwear in the sink at school now, but I had to pay the driver extra to remove the smell from his car. FML

#14731547
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26544) - you deserved it (5037)

On 01/27/2011 at 12:40pm - misc - by Username - Romania (Ilfov)

Today, I realized I'm pussy whipped by a chick I'm not even dating. FML

#14550494
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12114) - you deserved it (36517)

On 01/12/2011 at 2:46am - intimacy - by mad dude -

Today, I went down on my boyfriend while he was drunk, and he told me to get protection from his bedroom. I came back, he was passed out on the couch. His parents then came into the room after hearing noises. I was sitting there naked holding a condom while he was fast asleep. FML

#14459916
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30338) - you deserved it (8893)

On 01/04/2011 at 4:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, a man dressed as Santa Claus walked by me, grabbing my butt. He smelled of pipe tobacco and pee. He pulled me close to him and whispered, "I bet you're naughty but you feel so nice." I looked dumbfounded at him as he winked and yelled, "You're on my list." FML

#14208916
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37212) - you deserved it (3798)

On 12/15/2010 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have intercourse for the first time. One minute into it, he got nervous and farted. What's worse is that his fart scared him, and he asked "What was that?" FML

#9407867
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34401) - you deserved it (5885)

On 03/26/2010 at 7:58pm - intimacy - by Haley. - United States (Arizona)

Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML

#2244608
455 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40490) - you deserved it (140550)

On 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by helloitsbrian6969 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, not wanting to be known as a lightweight anymore, I started drinking with some guy friends. After one beer I ended up in bed with one of them who kindly put my bra back on for me after, as I was too sloshed. I'm no longer known as lightweight, but instead, the slutty drunk. FML

#1869904
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11750) - you deserved it (78301)

On 05/12/2009 at 10:23am - misc - by Permafucked (woman) - United States (South Dakota)



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