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JJ_Grace's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 03/23/2013 at 4:15pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, my husband showed up late to my mother's funeral. He swaggered in, happily finishing off a half-eaten taco. His excuse for why he was so cheerful: "She was an in-law, honey." Good to know I married a piece of shit in disguise. FML
by Anonymous / 03/23/2013 at 1:30pm / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Miscellaneous
by Too manly / 03/20/2013 at 12:54am / United States (California) / Love
Today, my boyfriend still won't talk to me, after I caused him the "worst embarrassment" of his life in front of his friends. What did I do wrong? I joined their conversation and ended up confusing the fictional characters of Gollum and Yoda with one another. FML
by Anonymous / 03/15/2013 at 8:12pm / France (Centre) / Miscellaneous
Today, I told my girlfriend that my identical twin and I are not in fact related, that he's adopted, and that the only reason we look exactly the same is because we eat and drink the same things. She actually believed it. FML
by datingablonde / 01/11/2013 at 12:20am / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous
by fuzz94 / 11/14/2012 at 4:06am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy
Today, due to a health insurance mix up, my schizophrenic girlfriend has been off her meds for a little over a week. She's convinced I can read her mind, and if I don't stop "pretending" she'll slit my throat in my sleep. Her medication won't be available for at least another two weeks. FML
by Eganstein / 11/11/2012 at 7:50pm / United States / Love
by Jessica S. / 09/06/2012 at 7:15am / United States (Kentucky) / Work
Today, I was watching a movie alone, after receiving a text from my boyfriend saying that his grandma was at the hospital, so he couldn't go with me. I caught him on a date with another girl, at the same movie screening that I went to. FML
by singlesummer / 06/25/2012 at 4:32am / United States (California) / Love
by CALIdime_15 / 05/05/2012 at 1:42am / United States / Intimacy
by lowlife123 / 04/30/2012 at 11:01pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy
by foshizzle / 04/25/2012 at 2:46am / United States (Florida) / Work
by FootyFoot / 03/06/2012 at 6:50am / Australia (South Australia) / Health
by unknown / 02/27/2012 at 12:42pm / United States / Love
Today, I was talking to my husband about a work colleague, whose boyfriend is always sending her flowers and fawning over her. I mentioned how I've never been treated like that. He glanced up from his video game and said, "Shit, Mel. Get a boob job then." FML
by Mel Ancholy / 02/17/2012 at 9:04pm / United States (Texas) / Love
- 1Today, I've stopped smoking, lost 30 pounds, taken several painful tests, and checked my ovulation… 2Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had… 3Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went…