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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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JFox

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JFox
  • Town/Country : Brooklyn
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 15 May 1990 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 31395
  • Number of comments : 223
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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JFox's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

JFox's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom was freaking out about me handling a CD-ROM with my bare hands. When I asked her what all the commotion was about, she said she was worried that I would catch "one of those computer viruses" she'd heard about on the news. FML

#18974920 (248)

I agree, your life sucks (26426) - you deserved it (1436)

On 02/02/2012 at 6:32am - misc - by aliezzedine (man) - Lebanon

Today, after a hard day on the wards as a trainee doctor, I went home and started getting frisky with my girlfriend. All I could think about was the anatomical names for what I was touching and doing. I felt physically sick. FML

#18793525 (127)

I agree, your life sucks (7082) - you deserved it (936)

On 01/13/2012 at 5:47am - intimacy - by doctorsandnurses (man) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, yep, pubic hair is still flammable. FML

#17253046 (408)

I agree, your life sucks (9188) - you deserved it (38865)

On 07/25/2011 at 11:12am - health - by Smokey9 - United States (Florida)

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

#15415559 (409)

I agree, your life sucks (26021) - you deserved it (22959)

On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, I realized that as a result of working in an office which has an oddly-placed window, the direct sunlight has caused the left side of my face to become significantly darker than the right. Just call me Harvey Dent. FML

#14935582 (53)

I agree, your life sucks (20583) - you deserved it (2432)

On 02/11/2011 at 1:15pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I got an email from the company that manages my Cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML

#5663418 (173)

I agree, your life sucks (38495) - you deserved it (2780)

On 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm - animals - by APetsPet (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was getting it on with my cute guy friend in his candlelit bedroom and we had just started tearing each other's clothes off. I decided to be coy and sexy and flip my hair to the side. As I did so, my long hair caught in the flames of his lit candles and caught half of my head on fire. FML

#2513205 (154)

I agree, your life sucks (47386) - you deserved it (23517)

On 06/01/2009 at 9:20pm - intimacy - by Bawo (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I spent the whole day seeing how many licks it would take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop: 763. I'm 24. FML

#2209832 (393)

I agree, your life sucks (41156) - you deserved it (15446)

On 05/23/2009 at 12:15pm - misc - by Tootsy_Roll_Pop (man) - United States

Today, I went out on a first date with a cute guy. Turns out we won't be going on a date again because I didn't know the difference between "Star Wars" and "Star Trek." FML

#1968718 (451)

I agree, your life sucks (23080) - you deserved it (43960)

On 05/15/2009 at 5:17pm - love - by not4geeks (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, trying to make my 6 year old daughter to laugh, I drew a picture of a butt, a puff of air coming out and the word "toot". My daughter thought it extremely funny. Later, when she was talking with my extremely judgmental mother-in-law, I heard her say "daddy taught me how to draw butts." FML

#1453459 (92)

I agree, your life sucks (14490) - you deserved it (34740)

On 04/29/2009 at 6:12am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my grandmother gave me a huge speech on being abstinent until marriage. Being the honest person that I am, I told her I wasn't a virgin anymore. Instead of being mad and telling me I was going to hell. She asked me what my favourite things to do sexually were. And told me hers in detail. FML

#918397 (113)

I agree, your life sucks (62914) - you deserved it (14485)

On 04/11/2009 at 8:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)