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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my business is doing so badly that people are teaching their kids to drive in the empty parking lot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22574) - you deserved it (1681)
On 12/20/2011 at 10:18pm - work - by Thomas - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I found out while skiing that my dad likes to call me Pimple because I have a pink coat and white helmet. He has tried to squeeze me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15697) - you deserved it (3504)
On 12/20/2011 at 12:16pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)
Today, while driving in a funeral procession I was distracted, missed my turn and yelled "God dammit!" I'm the funeral director; the Priest was in the car with me as I led the funeral the wrong way. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10523) - you deserved it (24702)
On 06/14/2011 at 10:23am - work - by patrickalamo - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend got a job at a trendy clothing store in the mall. Trying to be supportive, I went to visit him and tried something on. I got stuck in the jeans and had to call my boyfriend, who sent the manager to pull the jeans off me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19969) - you deserved it (9061)
On 06/14/2011 at 9:56am - misc - by mimabee - United States (Indiana)
Today, the only person who wished me a happy birthday is the policeman who checked my identity card for being "suspiciously gangster-like". FML
I agree, your life sucks (27049) - you deserved it (3855)
Today, while being robbed, a man heroically chased down the robber and got my purse back. He then looked at the distance between us, turned the other way and ran off with it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35616) - you deserved it (2372)
On 04/29/2011 at 2:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, it was my daughter's birthday. She had been wanting a cat for a long time, so I went to the animal shelter and got an orange one. As soon as she saw it, she ran upstairs screaming, "GINGER! GINGER!" She refuses to come downstairs until I get rid of "the soulless creature." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26103) - you deserved it (5900)
On 01/19/2011 at 10:44pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was taking a leak in the mall bathroom. A kid no older than thirteen strolled in and paused next to me at the urinals. He took one look and laughed, "I feel sorry for your wife, man." All I could do was stand there as he casually disappeared into one of the stalls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27170) - you deserved it (2955)
On 12/25/2010 at 2:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)
Today, it was my birthday. My parents got me a box of cupcakes. My brother got me a deck of cards. My aunt got me a brochure on how to quit smoking. I have diabetes, I don't play cards, and I don't smoke. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32104) - you deserved it (2132)
On 12/01/2010 at 6:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (27600) - you deserved it (15694)
On 10/13/2010 at 9:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Asturias)
Today, I was rushed to the hospital to deliver my child. On the way, I called my husband who was in a bar with his friends. Drunk, he just yelled, "BROS BEFORE HOS!!" and hung up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57365) - you deserved it (5789)
On 10/04/2010 at 5:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I was walking outside when I saw my best friend about 100 meters away. I began running towards her, arms flailing, screaming out a tribal battle cry. It wasn't until I was nearly on top of her that I realised it was someone else. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7357) - you deserved it (21585)
On 09/17/2010 at 4:33pm - misc - by ellinor (woman) - Sweden (Jonkopings Lan)
Today, we were in the car with my puppy, who favours my sister. She had been sat on her lap for a while, when she stood up and climbed onto my lap. I was really pleased until she peed on me and then went straight back to my sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22043) - you deserved it (1993)
On 09/17/2010 at 2:30am - misc - by PuppyPeeTimee. - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)
Today, I told my 3 year old daughter to behave or I'd spank her. She looked right at me and said "Bring it." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23234) - you deserved it (20147)
On 09/12/2010 at 9:38pm - kids - by Username - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33331) - you deserved it (9129)
On 08/22/2010 at 2:58am - kids - by Bailey - United States (Nebraska)
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