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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, not wanting to be known as a lightweight anymore, I started drinking with some guy friends. After one beer I ended up in bed with one of them who kindly put my bra back on for me after, as I was too sloshed. I'm no longer known as lightweight, but instead, the slutty drunk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8643) - you deserved it (58665)
On 05/12/2009 at 10:23am - misc - by Permafucked (woman) - United States (South Dakota)
Today, I flew to see my long distance boyfriend who I haven't seen in 6 months. Upon seeing me, he ran up to me, picked me up and swung me around like they do in the movies. In doing so, my foot hit a 4 year old child who was running past and knocked him out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62625) - you deserved it (6184)
On 05/10/2009 at 2:49pm - love - by airport (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I saw a couple of beetles doing it. Jealous, I quickly crushed them with my boot while screaming, "IF I CAN'T DO IT, NOBODY WILL!" All the little kids playing on the local playground, including parents supervising them, gave me dirty, confused looks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15579) - you deserved it (84132)
On 05/06/2009 at 2:15am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was taking the subway to work when I saw a really hot girl. Noticing that she, like me, had a Dunkin' Donuts coffee, I tried to start a conversation by saying, "Is that Double Ds you have there?" She didn't pick up that I was talking about the coffee. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13972) - you deserved it (67282)
On 04/29/2009 at 6:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my mother called me downstairs to give me what I assumed was going to be "The Talk" (About four years too late). So she sits me down, holds my hands, and with the gentlest, most motherly expression on her face tells me, "Honey, if you ever come home pregnant, I'll kill you and the baby." FML
I agree, your life sucks (94857) - you deserved it (8973)
On 04/19/2009 at 10:09pm - health - by Litterbox (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I found my phone under the car seat after three days. I flipped it open ready to issue apologies to everyone who had tried to get in touch with me and I had worried. No missed calls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61542) - you deserved it (7244)
On 04/16/2009 at 6:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I was having a panic attack so I called my parents. My brother answered to say my parents couldn't come to the phone because they were watching 24. Its ten o'clock and 24 is not on now. They were watching 24 on TiVo and couldn't pause it to come to the phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43779) - you deserved it (3492)
On 04/15/2009 at 10:32pm - misc - by happyharriet (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I had dinner with the girl I thought I would end up marrying. Everything was going well and after I had paid the bill, she said she was a lesbian. Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, she challenged me to see who could hook up with a straight girl first. I lost. FML
I agree, your life sucks (66769) - you deserved it (4631)
On 04/15/2009 at 8:13pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Utah)
Today, my boyfriend of 17 months, the first guy to tell me he loves me, the guy I lost my virginity to, the only guy whose parents I've met, told me we should stop 'hooking up' because it's weird that I was telling everyone we were a couple and it was ruining his chances of finding a girlfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (190535) - you deserved it (16604)
On 04/14/2009 at 11:21am - love - by hannah (woman) - United Kingdom (Devon)
Today, I went to my doctor for a check-up before my Caribbean vacation. He informed me I am overweight for my height and should "eat better, exercise, and lose the excess weight." I just returned from rehab for bulimia a month ago. My vacation was a celebration of overcoming my eating disorder. FML
I agree, your life sucks (77492) - you deserved it (5334)
On 04/13/2009 at 1:48am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Mississippi)
Today, I was going down on my girlfriend when I noticed a hickey near her hip. I said, "wow, last night was crazy, I don't even remember doing that!". Without even interrupting the action, she simply said, "You didn't". FML
I agree, your life sucks (78841) - you deserved it (4331)
On 03/27/2009 at 10:13am - intimacy - by tehhotness (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (372948) - you deserved it (413008)
On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, as I was talking my three year old daughter home from daycare, she asked where her daddy was. I tried to tell her that I was her father, but she answered, "No, not you! My other daddy!" I've got some talking to do tonight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46848) - you deserved it (2321)
On 10/29/2008 at 7:57am - kids - by LifeSucks - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I went to see a movie with the girl I 've liked for months. After the commercials, she told me she had to go to the ladies room. She never came back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47515) - you deserved it (2850)
On 10/25/2008 at 12:56pm - love - by Lo -
Today, I was writing to my girlfriend on msn when her roommate answered «Sorry, this is not Marie, she is at her boyfriend’s». Really? I've looked everywhere in my flat, I can’t find her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53562) - you deserved it (2207)
On 10/25/2008 at 12:56pm - love - by Icy -
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