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ItsJustMe_91

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ItsJustMe_91

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 20 May 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 164
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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ItsJustMe_91's FML badges

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ItsJustMe_91's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML

#20644821
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64638) - you deserved it (5955)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:29am - kids - by SkeetinKeaton (man) - United States

Today, I discovered why my boss kept on scheduling me to work doubles almost every day. It wasn't because she knew I needed the extra money; she was hoping that my boyfriend would break up with me because I'm never home, and date her instead. It worked. FML

#20615252
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65418) - you deserved it (4214)

On 04/23/2013 at 4:17am - love - by mybossisanass (woman) - United States

Today, I discovered why my boss kept on scheduling me to work doubles almost every day. It wasn't because she knew I needed the extra money; she was hoping that my boyfriend would break up with me because I'm never home, and date her instead. It worked. FML

#20615252
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65418) - you deserved it (4214)

On 04/23/2013 at 4:17am - love - by mybossisanass (woman) - United States

Today, I told my girlfriend I've been a vegetarian for 6 years. Hearing this, my mom said, "No, you're not. I fry your mushrooms and onions in bacon grease." With this new information, I've been a vegetarian for about 76 hours. FML

#20544221
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33636) - you deserved it (8732)

On 03/15/2013 at 12:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I discovered that the neck injury that my mom has had since last week was planned just as an excuse not to shovel when today's snowstorm came. She has planned on being lazy for over a week now. FML

#20533403
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26674) - you deserved it (2720)

On 03/06/2013 at 10:16am - misc - by Drew (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my wife packed my lunch. Inside of my lunchbox was a photo of her eating my sandwiches. FML

#20526564
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35429) - you deserved it (6788)

On 03/01/2013 at 2:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were looking at engagement rings. When the store owner asked about our budget, my boyfriend said with a straight face, "Nothing too expensive, I have a big penis so I don't have to overcompensate by buying a big diamond." FML

#20494997
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34592) - you deserved it (6694)

On 02/05/2013 at 9:31pm - love - by NewlyDread (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to a family dinner. My grandma wasted no time calling me a slut for not wearing a dress, my dad called my police officer boyfriend a "fucking pig", and then he told my mother to "put a cock in it" when she defended me. No wonder I hardly ever visit these people. FML

#20466682
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38086) - you deserved it (2580)

On 01/18/2013 at 6:18pm - misc - by mel (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, after giving my husband a new video game that he's been wanting, along with homemade waffles and a surprise blowjob, he gave me my gift: two packets of ramen noodles, and toilet paper. FML

Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time; he asked me to explain my interest in dating her. In a mix of me trying to say "I want to be with your daughter" and "I want to be in your daughter's life" I got confused and said, "I want to be in your daughter." FML

#20198676
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31650) - you deserved it (6257)

On 12/10/2012 at 2:21am - love - by Tonguetied0496 (man) - United States (California)

Today, after having been constipated for ages, I finally forced out a week's worth of build-up. The excruciating pain reduced me to tears, and my boyfriend refused to drive me to the hospital, because according to him, I must have had anal sex with someone. FML

#19824188
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26960) - you deserved it (2513)

On 06/21/2012 at 1:43pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I explained to my dad that I think I have a vaginal infection. I asked if he could take me to the doctor. He responded by saying, "Just shove some ice up there. It'll go away." FML

#18850090
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30655) - you deserved it (3396)

On 01/19/2012 at 12:14am - health - by hurts.to.pee - United States

Today, I had a science test. A question asked, "What is the first stage of photosynthesis?" I didn't know, so just trying to be light-hearted, I wrote, "The plant must first believe in itself." My teacher didn't think it was funny, and gave me detention for insulting her intelligence. FML

#17804302
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24625) - you deserved it (15045)

On 09/22/2011 at 12:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after receiving the third call this week from teachers about my son falling asleep in class, I decided that it would be a good idea to hide his Xbox controllers. He decided it would be a good idea to hide my diabetes medication. FML

#15805325
384 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44999) - you deserved it (17724)

On 04/16/2011 at 8:35am - health - by bbedlock (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my mum accused me of doing heroin because some teaspoons had gone missing. FML

#15412642
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35964) - you deserved it (3856)

On 03/21/2011 at 6:57am - health - by anti-drugs - United Kingdom



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