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Today, my brother got a pet ferret. He told me it had a flexible spine, so I bent it backwards. It farted, and clawed my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8097) - you deserved it (58149)
On 06/29/2011 at 10:55am - misc - by ashleyrae (woman) - United States (Mississippi)
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because of something I said 2 years ago, as a joke. I guess she took a while to get it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36245) - you deserved it (7002)
On 05/29/2011 at 12:41am - love - by Username - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I showed my colleagues how I could switch on my webcam at home from the office. That's how we all found out my wife is cheating on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (88639) - you deserved it (4719) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, my daughter was expelled from her school for beating another kindergartener with a Dr. Seuss book. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26660) - you deserved it (5523)
On 01/13/2011 at 3:48pm - kids - by me - United States
Today, after several hours of trying to get my triplet daughters to go to bed, they finally fell asleep. Exhausted, I went to the bathroom so I could go to bed. Not thinking about it, I dropped the toilet seat down rather loudly and flushed the toilet. All three girls woke up crying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22583) - you deserved it (18534)
On 06/25/2010 at 2:44am - kids - by sigh... - United States (New York)
Today, I was shopping in a packed store when I started to feel faint. Since I was quite far along in the queue, I tried to hold out until I reached the front of the queue. Good news: I succeeded. Bad news: I then fainted at the counter, hit my nose, and shit myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22017) - you deserved it (2762)
On 12/22/2009 at 6:32pm - misc - by everyonewasstaring (woman) - United Kingdom (Croydon)
Today, I woke up to find my parents singing happy birthday with lots of hugs and kisses. My birthday is next week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20670) - you deserved it (1595)
On 12/13/2009 at 1:46am - misc - by Thomas (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my mom sat on a pencil and started bleeding. She then made me clean the wound on her butt and put ointment on it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26256) - you deserved it (3870)
On 11/29/2009 at 9:39pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I visited my boyfriend's house excited about the romantic night he promised me. As time passed, we started making out and heading up to his room. Rose petals and candles filled his room. "How romantic", I thought. That is, until we saw his 5 year old sister blowing up condom balloons. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24591) - you deserved it (3729)
On 10/27/2009 at 6:20am - love - by kahemae44 (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was walking to my friends Halloween themed birthday party in my zombie costume. Apparently, my crazy coke addicted neighbor found the costume too realistic. He tackled me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32223) - you deserved it (2603)
On 10/03/2009 at 11:34am - health - by Pwnedofthedead (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I woke up at 3 in the morning and realized I forgot a 30 page english essay that was due the next day. Knowing I still had 12 pages to research and write, I bolted. I worked until 12PM and was almost done when my dad came in and unplugged the computer because I "need to go outside more." FML
I agree, your life sucks (44959) - you deserved it (8542)
On 09/27/2009 at 2:43pm - misc - by riotrock (man) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, I saw a video of me last night, hammered, climbing my wardrobe screaming "I WANT TO GO TO NARNIA" naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40092) - you deserved it (122961)
On 08/20/2009 at 10:39am - misc - by ShiriSarah (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I was at the mall shoplifting when a girl who looked my age pointed to a shirt I had in my bag. "Stole that, huh?" she asked smiling. She looked pretty cool, so I nodded and asked if she stole the jeans she was wearing, which were from the store. Turns out she didn't, she's the manager. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20529) - you deserved it (350426)
On 04/06/2009 at 8:41pm - misc - by blovesg (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was getting sick of listening to the guy in the next room over getting nasty with some girl, so I called my girlfriend to see if she wanted to go get some food. Then I heard her phone ring. Through the wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (363288) - you deserved it (20225)
On 03/28/2009 at 4:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, I was shaving off my beard for the first time in a very long time. I decided to have a little fun with it, and shaved my beard first into a goatee, then a handle-bar, then, finally, into a Hitler mustache. My electric razor dies. I don't have a normal one or an extra battery. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30859) - you deserved it (65566)
On 03/25/2009 at 10:13am - misc - by nomorebeard (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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