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Iola94's favorite FMLs
Today, I tried to buy a bottle of wine from the supermarket. The scrawny, acne-ridden kid at the checkout asked to see my ID. I didn't have any on me, since I'm 37 years old and didn't expect to be asked stupid questions. I complained to his manager, only to be asked to leave. FML
by Andrew / 11/24/2011 at 3:19pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend got upset after I politely asked him to do the laundry. He takes every chance he gets to act macho and brag to people about how he's in the Marines, but apparently he is too much of a pussy to act like a man and clean his own clothes. FML
by sigh / 11/24/2011 at 2:30pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, I went camping and shared a tent with this girl I have been sleeping with here and there for a year. To impress her, I popped a certain male enhancement supplement. Thirty minutes later I found out she was on her period. What a long night. FML
by johnnydoe6969 / 11/20/2011 at 6:51pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, at work, my mouse cursor kept randomly moving all over the screen, and messed up an entire day's attempted work. As I was leaving, I overheard one of my co-workers saying he'd plugged a wireless mouse adapter into my computer, and had been trolling me all day. FML
by tech_support / 11/04/2011 at 12:05pm / Sweden (Vastra Gotaland) / Work
by KayleeXLoVe21 / 11/03/2011 at 7:48pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, I saw an unbelievably cute guy. He caught my eye and began to walk towards me. I adjusted myself and flashed him a smile. He came up to me, smiled back, and said "Hi, do you have a minute for gay rights?" FML
by Anonymous / 10/15/2011 at 2:58am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, I came home from work to find the front door wide open, the stove on, my 5 year old cutting up the curtain, and my 2 year old smearing chocolate sauce on the floor. My fiancé was nowhere to be found. Later on, I got a text from him saying that he'd gone to watch the footy. FML
by chocolateisyum / 10/09/2011 at 7:13am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids
by Anonymous / 09/21/2011 at 9:17am / United States / Love
Today, while at work, after reading more than 100 FMLs and moderating more than 500, I decided to write one of my own with the help of my boss, who had been standing next to me for over an hour. "How about being fired?" FML
by f_ck_U / 09/21/2011 at 2:47am / China (Zhejiang) / Work
by Anonymous / 09/19/2011 at 4:27pm / United States / Love
by Nicole / 09/19/2011 at 4:16pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by ohmaigawd / 09/14/2011 at 12:59pm / Argentina / Intimacy
by ashleyrae / 06/29/2011 at 10:55am / United States (Mississippi) / Miscellaneous
by Username / 05/29/2011 at 12:41am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…
- Today, my boyfriend fingered me. He never cuts his nails. It felt like I was getting intimate with… Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob. I was laying in between his legs because it's just more… Today, my boyfriend told me "don't worry, someday you'll be mature as well." By this, he meant that…