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Today, I found out why I find damp spots on my favorite jacket. I appears that my dog often becomes very intimate with it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22737) - you deserved it (2084)
On 01/16/2012 at 7:33pm - animals - by Cathy - United States
Today, after having a naked wrestle with my boyfriend, I discovered he'd left a skidmark on my stomach. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28280) - you deserved it (10821)
On 01/16/2012 at 6:09am - love - by Crashburn (woman) - United Kingdom (Sheffield)
Today, I was on Skype with the guy I like. After a while of being on Facebook I forgot I was on webcam to him and started picking my nose. He ended the call. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11752) - you deserved it (44621)
On 01/05/2012 at 2:35pm - love - by louise (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol)
Today, I was on the train listening to my iPod on shuffle. The "Oompa Loompa" song came on, and slightly amused, I started humming it. It wasn't until I noticed that the man next to me was a midget that I understood the horrified looks I was getting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26883) - you deserved it (6970)
On 01/05/2012 at 1:39pm - misc - by lorahayes (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, I accidentally moaned my own name during sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25846) - you deserved it (20212)
On 01/04/2012 at 1:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I picked up a hitchhiker. He was well dressed, and seemed trustworthy. As soon as he got in, he pulled out a gun and stole my wallet and car. All of this occurred in front of a sign warning against picking up hitchhikers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8638) - you deserved it (57281)
On 01/04/2012 at 1:28am - money - by hitchhiked - United States (California)
Today, my mum read a forwarded email, and is now convinced that eating processed food will make my ovaries shrink and disappear. Now she goes batshit crazy if she sees me eating potato chips. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17185) - you deserved it (1641)
On 01/02/2012 at 7:18am - health - by sohungry (woman) - India (Maharashtra)
Today, I was pushed over and robbed in a parking lot by a man in an ugly Christmas sweater. When I looked up, I was too distracted by the sweater to even look at his face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21196) - you deserved it (5818)
On 01/02/2012 at 12:40am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, I woke up after a long night of partying. When I went to wash off my face, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. My missing tooth was almost enough to make me overlook my black eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8701) - you deserved it (24186)
On 01/01/2012 at 12:19pm - misc - by msnewyearseve - United States (New York)
Today, the last few seconds of my 2011 was spent staring at my drunk, naked uncle pouring olive oil over himself and rubbing it in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22238) - you deserved it (2234)
On 01/01/2012 at 1:18am - misc - by Scarred4Life - United States (Maryland)
Today, I found out while skiing that my dad likes to call me Pimple because I have a pink coat and white helmet. He has tried to squeeze me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17469) - you deserved it (4421)
On 12/20/2011 at 12:16pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my coworker friend told me she was going to the restroom. Soon after, I did the same. Once in the stall, I could smell a stench emanating from the next one. I yelled, "Ew, you stinky bitch" and sprayed air freshener under the partition. As I left the stall, my friend walked into the restroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7078) - you deserved it (29335)
On 12/11/2011 at 11:46pm - work - by stinky (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I walked in on my mom, braiding my dad's pubic hair. I don't know what scarred me more; my mom braiding his pubic hair or the fact that his pubic hair is long enough to be braided. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40173) - you deserved it (2607)
On 12/10/2011 at 8:03pm - intimacy - by Joe (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, after spending hours putting up our tree and decorating it, it fell over and shattered the glass ornaments. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18920) - you deserved it (3008)
On 11/26/2011 at 7:12pm - misc - by anonymous - United States
Today, before my girlfriend gave me a blow job, she put on goggles. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25280) - you deserved it (11771)
On 11/26/2011 at 10:09am - intimacy - by hitintheeye - Canada (Ontario)
Monday 20 May 2013
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