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IntoTheClouds's favorite FMLs
by mhm / 05/05/2012 at 10:21pm / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation
Today, I spent some of my pay on a birthday gift for my wife. She found out about the money going missing from our account, and now she thinks I'm having an affair. I work 24/7 and barely have time to see my friends, let alone have an affair. FML
by Anonymous / 05/04/2012 at 10:27pm / New Zealand (Wellington) / Love
by Eragons_Mommy92 / 05/04/2012 at 10:38am / United States / Money
Today, a repairman came to fix my couch, which is under warranty because the frame had broken in multiple places. To ensure I got a new couch out of the deal, I stabbed multiple holes into the cushion. The guy fixed the frame, but said there was nothing he could do about lacerations on the sofa. FML
by grovage / 05/02/2012 at 8:43pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I finally built up the courage to confess my love to the girl of my dreams. She turned me down. When I asked her about all the recent receptive behavior toward me, she replied, "I thought it'd be funny." FML
by HighasaCloud / 04/30/2012 at 12:01pm / United States (Indiana) / Love
by kdehshaden / 04/30/2012 at 4:25am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I received a text from the guy I'm into, thanking me for helping him drunkenly stumble back to his apartment last night. He ended it with, "How long did you stay?" Apparently, he doesn't remember confessing his secret love for me, or the fantastic kiss that followed. FML
by Aus / 04/26/2012 at 10:43am / United States / Love
Today, as I was crossing an intersection, a car ran a red light and almost hit me. This kind of thing happens a lot in my town so I'm used to almost being run-down, except this time it was a small boy on his father's lap steering. The dad was laughing. FML
by Diffy / 04/26/2012 at 7:49am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had to explain to a potential client that I wouldn't represent him, because suing his neighbor for calling him a pansy would get us laughed out of court and likely get me disbarred. His response was to get violent and threaten to sue me for violating his civil rights. FML
by A Henderson / 04/25/2012 at 4:50pm / United States / Work
by xharmonyx / 04/24/2012 at 4:29am / United States / Work
by sadmommy / 04/23/2012 at 6:51pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
Today, I went grocery shopping. As I was leaning in to pick up some produce, someone viciously slapped me on the butt. I whirled around and nobody was anywhere in sight. Now I'm starting to worry that I'm losing my mind. FML
by beleria / 04/23/2012 at 6:41pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was trolling in a chat room when someone said, quote: "He's just a no-life, unemployed loser still living in his mom's basement. Probably spends all day stroking his tiny dong and fantasizing about having a real girlfriend." I actually started crying because it was so accurate. FML
by pathetic / 04/23/2012 at 6:06pm / Poland (Mazowieckie) / Geek
by stoggie96 / 04/22/2012 at 11:34am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by Jenn P / 04/21/2012 at 11:15pm / United States (Texas) / Love
- 1Today, I found out my parents have been slipping birth control pills into my morning orange juice… 2Today, I found out my husband has been catfishing my sixteen year-old brother for over a year. FML 3Today, I babysat a kid who was such a bratty little prick that I actually considered walking out on…