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I never take things to heart
Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, Child Protective Services came to my house, because my 7-year-old son told people at school that he was uncomfortable sleeping in his uncle's bed. I had to explain to them that the uncle in question died 2 years ago, and that's why it felt weird. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24816) - you deserved it (1895)
On 06/01/2012 at 3:02am - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I found out that my colleagues had replaced my email auto-responder with a message saying, "I'm away for two weeks in Brazil. Due to the surgery, when I return, please address me by my new name: Crystal." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22804) - you deserved it (2307) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 05/31/2012 at 4:19pm - love - by Monsieur-Madame (man) - France (Champagne-Ardenne)
Today, my girlfriend stuck her finger up my butt while giving me a hand-job, promising it would feel really good. It just felt awkward and made me need to poop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26574) - you deserved it (6408)
On 05/30/2012 at 5:46am - intimacy - by Brax (man) - United States
Today, my son was fired from his new job, which was going to support us since I recently lost mine. His excuse was, "Conflict of interest." He was a mascot for a fast-food restaurant and refused to dance around. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13077) - you deserved it (8315)
On 05/28/2012 at 6:00pm - kids - by Shianna (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, I got yelled at and called a pedo by a mother after I sat down in a swing next to her daughter. I was too embarrassed to tell her that I'm a 20 year old who really does enjoy swinging in my spare time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17596) - you deserved it (2863)
On 05/27/2012 at 9:13am - misc - by CA19oo - United States (Georgia)
Today, I texted my friend and asked her what her sad status on Facebook was about. She texted me back saying her step-mother had passed away. I tried to reply with "awwh" but my phone autocorrected it to "ahaha." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24088) - you deserved it (4923)
On 05/27/2012 at 3:19am - misc - by iPhonekid - United States (Texas)
Today, my friends were coming to pick me up from volleyball practice. When their car pulled up, I jumped in. It was really quiet, so I looked up, only to find I had gotten in the wrong car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15228) - you deserved it (6726)
On 05/26/2012 at 7:00pm - misc - by HorcruxDelight73 - United States (Washington)
Today, after months of using the empty driveway across the street from my house, a note was placed under my windshield wiper. It read, "Please stop parking in my driveway. P.S. You’re hot. Are you single?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (4773) - you deserved it (22479)
On 05/21/2012 at 9:05pm - misc - by bronco_lover89 (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I read an article on babies dying after being accidentally left in cars in the sun. On my lunch break, I decided to walk around the parking lot, checking to see that no kids were abandoned in cars. A guy gave me a smack for looking through his car window. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6183) - you deserved it (27446)
On 05/21/2012 at 10:59am - misc - by whytoday -
Today, I tried to swallow a spoonful of cinnamon. I ended up vomiting chunks of burgers, all while bleeding from the nose and suffering throbbing testicles. I then had to clean it all up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5252) - you deserved it (36095)
On 05/18/2012 at 3:41am - health - by TLJ321 -
Today, I wanted to prank my roommate. So, I thought it would be funny to take all the toilet paper out of our bathroom. She thought it would be funny to wipe with my cashmere sweater. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4909) - you deserved it (33749)
On 05/18/2012 at 2:07am - misc - by Karmaisabitch - United States (Colorado)
Today, I finally gained the nerve to ask out the girl of my dreams. She responded by saying, "You need to lower your standards." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19621) - you deserved it (1835)
On 05/17/2012 at 5:07pm - love - by colts609380 - United States (California)
Today, I got a ticket for panhandling to get gas money so that I could both drive out to a job interview AND still have enough gas to pick up my dad. Apparently, these particular cops had nothing better to do than harass me for standing quietly next to a freeway entrance with a silly sign. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5543) - you deserved it (15982)
On 05/16/2012 at 11:42pm - money - by Starving Student - United States (Washington)
Today, my boss at my new job asked whether I was fitting in OK. The company is Swedish, so as a joke, I said that at home I now serve all my food as a smorgasbord, chew on fermented herring and Daim chocolate bars, and buy all my furniture at Ikea. She didn't see the funny side. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4159) - you deserved it (24583)
On 05/15/2012 at 2:48am - work - by Isa (woman) - United States
Today, I was having dinner with my college friends to celebrate the end of our first year. I said really great things about them as individuals. The only thing they had to say to me was, "Thanks for being the token black friend." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17357) - you deserved it (1953)
On 05/14/2012 at 10:23pm - misc - by foreverbrown (man) - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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