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I never take things to heart
Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, I was slapped across the face by a girl in the waiting room at the dentist's office. She thought I was taking a picture of her breasts with my phone. I was smiling while reading other people's FMLs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31160) - you deserved it (2170)
On 12/03/2012 at 3:35pm - misc - by karmamaybe - United States (South Dakota)
Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm breaking up with her because she's very abusive. After a couple of seconds of awkward silence, she kicked me in the nuts and ran away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20227) - you deserved it (2518)
On 12/03/2012 at 6:53am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada
Today, I came home from the hospital diagnosed with high blood pressure. It's caused by stress. My wife had a very long talk with my son about it. All the kid has been doing for the past 2 hours is scream at his Playstation. I'd rather be at the hospital. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13151) - you deserved it (1870)
On 12/02/2012 at 11:03pm - kids - by Nick (man) - United States (Nevada)
Today, my girlfriend dared me to put on her bra and panties and give her a lap dance. Feeling spontaneous, I decided to do it. Just as I was getting really into it, she told me I was on webcam for all her friends. Apparently it was a contest of who had their boyfriend the most whipped. She won. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36469) - you deserved it (9576)
On 11/23/2012 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Embarassed (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, trying to be kinky while giving my boyfriend a blow job, I whipped him with my ponytail. He was thrilled, until I accidentally head-butted his dick. He curled up into a ball and wouldn't let me touch him again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9037) - you deserved it (25196)
On 11/20/2012 at 3:43am - intimacy - by kinkicali (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my daughter had a meltdown when I told her I donated some of her old toys to Goodwill. It turns out Toy Story has taught her that toys have feelings and that she has a meaningful relationship with them. She's in her teens. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10929) - you deserved it (18868)
On 11/17/2012 at 5:31pm - kids - by susan (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I found my childhood diary stashed in a box in the attic. I flipped to the last page and noticed a little note written by my now deceased father. It read, "Well son, this diary proves that you're a whiny asshole - Dad." Thanks Dad, from beyond the grave. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17505) - you deserved it (3270)
On 11/12/2012 at 9:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)
Today, due to a health insurance mix up, my schizophrenic girlfriend has been off her meds for a little over a week. She's convinced I can read her mind, and if I don't stop "pretending" she'll slit my throat in my sleep. Her medication won't be available for at least another two weeks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17709) - you deserved it (1545)
On 11/11/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, on my job as a police officer, I received a typical domestic disturbance call. Not so typical was the address. Guess my wife's affair went terribly wrong while I was on shift. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31464) - you deserved it (1153)
On 11/09/2012 at 2:18am - love - by SebastianMiko (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I started dating a seemingly normal guy. Not even four hours into our relationship, he began telling me that he can see spirits, dead people, and that I have a large black dog following me everywhere I go. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15384) - you deserved it (1601)
On 11/08/2012 at 11:53pm - love - by holyshitbatman - United States (Ohio)
Today, my girlfriend did the walk of shame in a skimpy Halloween costume after a night of drunken sex. Problem? The walk ended at my doorstep, and the sex was with a stranger. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27155) - you deserved it (1800)
On 11/03/2012 at 6:02am - intimacy - by heartbroke (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, the power went out at school. If it's out for more than twenty minutes, standard procedure is to let us go home. They came back on almost nineteen minutes later. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19115) - you deserved it (2784)
On 10/15/2012 at 3:00pm - work - by anon - United States (Virginia)
Today, I realized the only reason why my boyfriend spends the night with me is because my house is closer to his job than his, and so he saves money on gas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15372) - you deserved it (1791)
On 10/08/2012 at 2:57pm - love - by habsgurl0622 - United States (Alabama)
Today, I was telling my co-workers about how I'd gotten tickets to a concert in a few days. My boss overheard. Later, he told me I now have to work on the night of the concert. However, he was kind enough to offer to buy the tickets off me for half of what I'd paid for them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18085) - you deserved it (1382)
On 10/07/2012 at 8:09pm - work - by working_as_usual (man) - United States (California)
Today, my cousin suddenly confided in me that he had tried to commit suicide by overdosing when he was 17. Shocked and not knowing how to respond, I blurted out, "Did it work?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (6262) - you deserved it (19533)
On 09/12/2012 at 1:40am - misc - by hahagirl (woman) - United Kingdom
Monday 20 May 2013
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