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IntoTheClouds's favorite FMLs
Today, while driving home from school, I noticed one of our hot quarterbacks in the car behind me. Trying to impress him, I pulled into the driveway of an expensive-looking house. To my horror, he pulled in behind me and asked what I was doing at his house. FML
by brooke / 03/21/2012 at 1:12pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
by Anonymous / 03/21/2012 at 8:21am / United States / Kids
by George Saunders / 03/21/2012 at 12:06am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Kids
by FoodyFood / 03/19/2012 at 12:59am / Australia (South Australia) / Kids
by Taylor Easley / 03/17/2012 at 12:53am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by CallaC / 03/14/2012 at 10:01pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Miscellaneous
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Her huge, ex-Marine father took me out back, saying he wanted to show me something. That something was a machete. He savagely buried it in a tree stump and said, "Son, if you break my daughter's heart, that'll be your dick." FML
by PUA / 03/14/2012 at 9:06pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy
Today, I was watching a kid at school walk like a gangster. My teacher was standing there, so I stood behind the kid and walked like him, laughing to myself, at which point my teacher took me to one side and told me the kid was handicapped. FML
by BBFreak97 / 03/14/2012 at 4:13pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was chatting to a nice girl at the mall, and I said if she didn't get a raise, I would write to the management. She said they have no email address, and I replied that I meant an actual letter. "Like, on paper?" she said, "Damn, how old are ya, pops?" I want a ticket off this planet. FML
by S. Michaels / 03/14/2012 at 11:17am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my dad was driving me to college. I'd cracked a joke about how old people like him shouldn't be allowed to drive, and I guess he took it personally, what with him speeding straight up to the parking lot wall, and only braking after I started shrieking in terror. FML
by Emma Five / 03/13/2012 at 11:22pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Transportation
Today, I got my yearbook. My sister and I are identical twins, and we realized only my sister had a picture in it. When we asked the head of yearbook, they said they thought it was the same girl trying to get two pictures, so they put in the prettier one. FML
by Rynne S. / 03/13/2012 at 2:12am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
Today, my grandparents visited. My grandpa kept getting off the couch and walking around to "stretch his legs." He kept kicking out my computer's network cable and messing up my game, smirking each time he did it. When I complained, my mom told me to shut up and show some respect. FML
by Anonymous / 03/12/2012 at 10:04pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out I've miserably failed a college exam. My friend had agreed to pass me answers if I needed them, since I've hardly studied this year. We were on the phone when she said, "Oh, those answers were bullshit. Serves you right, huh?" FML
by Alison / 03/10/2012 at 5:48pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
by ITM21 / 03/09/2012 at 1:43am / United States / Work
by Hungrytoothbrush / 03/07/2012 at 5:07pm / United States (Virginia) / Health
- Today, I found out that my sister scheduled her cesarean for the afternoon of opening night for the… Today, after many years of not going out with friends because I'm so self conscious about my acne.… Today, I just finished treating my cat for fleas and bombing my apartment and washing everything. I…