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IntoTheClouds's favorite FMLs
by I don't know, son / 11/15/2013 at 8:53pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by haqL / 11/15/2013 at 5:51pm / Mexico (Queretaro de Arteaga) / Miscellaneous
by shut up. / 11/11/2013 at 5:36am / New Zealand / Work
Today, after doing vigorous chores all day with my girlfriend, her mom came and paid us each $100. My girlfriend cried and threw a fit because she said they were her chores, so she deserves all the money. FML
by Go away / 11/10/2013 at 3:03am / United States (Iowa) / Money
Today, my girlfriend "got even" with me after an argument by telling people that I've been beating her. Three guys later came over to my place and beat the crap out of me. Her reaction: "I didn't think they'd take it so serious!" FML
by JayDNut / 11/08/2013 at 4:17pm / Health
Today, I was working behind the bar at a club. After serving drinks to a guy, he asked me if I could carry them outside to the two girls waiting for him. I scowled at him and told him I wasn't a waitress. That's when I realised he had one arm. FML
by bitch / 10/07/2013 at 3:37am / Australia / Work
Today, I was training at work on proper techniques of physical restraint. As my coworker was practicing on me, I realized this was the first time I've had physical contact with a man in years. I'm ashamed to admit how good it felt to feel his weight pressed into my back as I pretended to resist. FML
by Anonymous / 10/04/2013 at 1:04am / United States (Utah) / Love
by chinaski7628 / 09/24/2013 at 6:00pm / United States (California) / Work
by Anonymous / 08/29/2013 at 8:16pm / United States (New York) / Animals
by Anonymous / 08/18/2013 at 11:56pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy
by fail / 08/18/2013 at 12:41am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my mother-in-law yelled from across the house for me to come quickly. She sounded frantic, so I rushed and asked what was wrong. She said, "Nothing." and that she just wanted to remind me that she hates my guts. She'll be living here with me and my wife for the next two months. FML
by Anonymous / 08/10/2013 at 5:30pm / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was leaving my friends' apartment in my mom's car and I backed into a fire hydrant. I lied and told my mom it was a hit and run. So she called the apartment complex. They had me on video hitting the fire hydrant. FML
by why me?? / 08/07/2013 at 12:21am / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous
Today, I finally felt ready to make love to my boyfriend for the first time. It all went great, until I tried putting the condom on him. In the process, I managed to nick his penis not once, but three times with my nails. His eyes brimmed with tears and he completely lost his erection. FML
by fuck but no fuck / 08/02/2013 at 3:44pm / South Africa (Gauteng) / Intimacy