Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

InsertGirder

Search for a member

InsertGirder

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 8 April 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 737
  • Number of comments : 19
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About InsertGirder : ...

InsertGirder's page activity

Visits<b>Crusher74</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 8:16am<b>LordDoodle</b> - the 06/28/2013 at 8:41pm<b>dotar</b> - the 02/02/2013 at 9:31pm<b>rcbarnes</b> - the 12/05/2011 at 6:04pm<b>walfgang</b> - the 10/19/2011 at 6:18pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:13pm<b>tennischik211</b> - the 09/04/2011 at 11:24am<b>slick5880</b> - the 08/19/2011 at 3:12pm<b>ReinaJay</b> - the 08/15/2011 at 12:49am<b>manic_maniac11</b> - the 07/03/2011 at 5:01am<b>Doortje</b> - the 07/02/2011 at 7:21pm<b>badjujitsu</b> - the 06/21/2011 at 11:20am<b>sweet_candy_</b> - the 06/20/2011 at 6:25pm<b>CaptainPickles72</b> - the 06/19/2011 at 11:03pm<b>Pupusaboy08</b> - the 06/19/2011 at 9:44pm<b>Chris_Rahl</b> - the 06/19/2011 at 8:54pm

InsertGirder's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

See all of InsertGirder's badges

InsertGirder's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home from work to find the front door wide open, the stove on, my 5 year old cutting up the curtain, and my 2 year old smearing chocolate sauce on the floor. My fiancé was nowhere to be found. Later on, I got a text from him saying that he'd gone to watch the footy. FML

Today, at work in a liquor store, a man came in to demand a refund because after he "drank the whole bottle of Jack" he "couldn't get it up" for his wife. He thought that alcohol was supposed to be an aphrodisiac, and blamed me personally for his "whiskey dick". FML

#17415009
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32038) - you deserved it (2768)

On 08/09/2011 at 2:24am - intimacy - by OyGeeze28 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I decided to pay a surprise visit to my family after I got some work leave. I drove over and knocked on the door, and a young couple answered. Apparently, my entire family decided to move to Texas, and didn't bother to tell me. FML

#17009779
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38115) - you deserved it (2955)

On 07/07/2011 at 1:53am - misc - by danielle887 - United States

Today, my girlfriend who was planning on waiting until marriage for sex decided to have sex with me. It's been 4 hours and she hasn't stopped crying, praying and calling me the devil's temptation. FML

#16998038
389 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53414) - you deserved it (16744)

On 07/06/2011 at 7:26am - intimacy - by devilboy - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while on student exchange in Germany, I was making myself a cup of coffee. When I rummaged around in the fridge, my room-mates asked me what I was looking for. I said I wanted to put "samen" in my coffee. They laughed. Ah yes, "sahne" means "cream". "Samen" means "sperm". FML

#16951443
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28015) - you deserved it (10791) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/02/2011 at 5:50pm - intimacy - by Hum - Switzerland (Ticino)

Today, as I was smoking a cigarette I realized that it's time to quit. This realization came to me after a particularly violent coughing bout forced not tar out of my lungs, but rather poo out of my bum. FML

#16701794
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9030) - you deserved it (43589)

On 06/16/2011 at 9:39pm - health - by Hopslammer (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my girlfriend smelt my penis after I got back from the gym. She was making sure it didn't smell like latex. I can't even go to the gym without her thinking I'm cheating on her. FML

#16700863
353 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43175) - you deserved it (9369)

On 06/16/2011 at 8:33pm - intimacy - by evomadrid24 - United States (California)

Today, I was performing a show about pirates for a youth program. A child started crying because I wasn't a real pirate. A little girl took my defense: "He's a real pirate, his teeth are all yellow!" FML

#15203420
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27315) - you deserved it (10154)

On 03/05/2011 at 1:07am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I found out the hard way that if you think a waiter is hot, you probably shouldn't tell your parents. They could react by screaming at him across the room to tell him you think he's a hottie. FML

#15203097
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26694) - you deserved it (14551)

On 03/05/2011 at 12:34am - misc - by anonymous - France

Today, I rushed my dog to the vet because he was foaming at the mouth. I returned home with a bill for $200 and a dog who apparently has a thing for marshmallows. FML

#15198573
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29243) - you deserved it (5769)

On 03/04/2011 at 5:57pm - money - by duncanisgey - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I rushed my dog to the vet because he was foaming at the mouth. I returned home with a bill for $200 and a dog who apparently has a thing for marshmallows. FML

#15198573
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29243) - you deserved it (5769)

On 03/04/2011 at 5:57pm - money - by duncanisgey - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I rushed my dog to the vet because he was foaming at the mouth. I returned home with a bill for $200 and a dog who apparently has a thing for marshmallows. FML

#15198573
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29243) - you deserved it (5769)

On 03/04/2011 at 5:57pm - money - by duncanisgey - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my girlfriend's best friend told me she was in hospital after having made a suicide attempt. In shock, I had a panic attack and ended up in the hospital myself. Turns out it was all a lie to see whether or not I was committed to the relationship. FML

#15174885
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51226) - you deserved it (4743)

On 03/02/2011 at 12:12pm - love - by FFFFF- (man) - Singapore

Today, on the train, a cute girl gave me her number. After maybe half an hour, she went to her seat and I went to the toilet for a quick but loud and painful dump. I opened the door and saw her outside getting bitch-slapped by the smell. FML

#15172476
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27131) - you deserved it (9127)

On 03/02/2011 at 3:16am - misc - by Noguestlist -

Today, surprisingly, my roommate made a nice meal. Within an hour, I started throwing up. When I confronted her, she confessed that she'd used long expired ingredients, including meat, because she didn't want the garbage men to think she's "the type that wastes food." FML

#15166184
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33529) - you deserved it (2775)

On 03/01/2011 at 7:11pm - health - by stillsick (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: