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Insanityconfined

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Insanityconfined
  • Town/Country : London, England
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 327
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Insanityconfined : Hey.
This is my profile, but you know that.
Message me if you wanna talk :3
I definitely am a madman with a box.

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Insanityconfined's favorite FMLs

Today, things were getting heated with the girlfriend. We were mostly naked, but mostly wouldn't do, so I kissed her deeply and whispered into her ear, "You should lose some weight". Clothes. I meant to say clothes. FML

Today, I puked up an anti-nausea pill. FML

#21026645
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46799) - you deserved it (3991)

On 01/13/2014 at 3:35pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I have to take time off from work to take part in an intervention because my sister's obsession with the guy from Harry Potter has crossed over into illegality. FML

#21009908
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37512) - you deserved it (2968)

On 12/29/2013 at 11:23pm - misc - by LeaveHimAlone (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I woke up from a drunken one-night-stand. The person I slept with turned out to be heavily pregnant. She tried to convince me that I am the father and that I passed out for 7 months. FML

Today, I overcame my stage fright and got up in front of a café audience with my acoustic guitar to sing a few of my songs. Some asshat kept yelling stuff like "NEEDS MORE COWBELL!" and "FREEBIRD!", which made me lose my nerve and flee. FML

#20937310
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35513) - you deserved it (3598)

On 10/28/2013 at 9:57pm - misc - by NickDrakeFan (man) - United States

Today, my little sister is having a friend spend the night. Our rooms are right next to one another and the walls are thin. We are now entering the fourth hour of a singing contest so off-key that it should be illegal. FML

#20933172
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38581) - you deserved it (2982)

On 10/25/2013 at 2:48am - misc - by ThisIsAgony - United States (Nevada)

Today, I woke up with a raging hangover. I soon checked my phone, only to find that I'd drunkenly sent nude pictures to several friends' numbers, as well as to my own. I'd then replied to my own message, saying that I'm not gay and telling myself to fuck off. FML

#20925183
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25762) - you deserved it (37122)

On 10/18/2013 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went home after work with my best friend who I am also secretly in love with. We had a few drinks, were getting touchy, and one thing led to another. Before leaving, I got the courage to ask her out on a real date. Her only reply was, "I don't want to lose such a good friend." FML

Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wearing a shirt with a big QR code on it. Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it. It gave me a shortened web address, which I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up. FML

#20882561
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50142) - you deserved it (25047)

On 09/15/2013 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, while at a private lake, my colon declared a state of evacuation. I ventured as far from my family as my sphincter would allow, only to make eye contact with two very horrified kayakers mid-explosion. FML

#20830594
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40215) - you deserved it (4657)

On 08/10/2013 at 11:23am - health - by Oh-Shit! - United States

Today, I learned a few things. One: friends are assholes. Two: under no circumstance do you close your eyes when they ask you to. Three: getting kicked in the balls hurts a lot. FML

#20818001
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39123) - you deserved it (19636)

On 08/03/2013 at 12:31am - health - by Myballshurt (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my grandma walked into my house drunk. She was mumbling something about her being a badass because she beat someone with a pool stick at a bar. She's 68 years old. FML

#20804067
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35539) - you deserved it (3228)

On 07/26/2013 at 2:10am - misc - by dareyale (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my parents staged an intervention because I ate a year's supply of noodles in 2 weeks. FML

Today, my friends took my work laptop and changed the sounds. Now, whenever I remove a USB device, a woman's voice screams "Put it back!" and when I insert a USB device, it says "Oh, you need to push it in harder!" I don't know how to change it back. FML

#20793994
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52488) - you deserved it (6065)

On 07/20/2013 at 11:45am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Delaware)



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