Insane94

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Offline (the 06/13/2016 at 7:32pm)

Insane94

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 30 June 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 1765
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Insane94 : Here to read, not to bleed.

Insane94's page activity

Visits<b>gh0st0110</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 11:20am<b>jennac777</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 2:43pm<b>jazzmin1997</b> - the 04/13/2014 at 4:58pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 7:29pm<b>TheApostate</b> - the 11/28/2013 at 9:13am<b>Mooish</b> - the 11/26/2013 at 6:00pm<b>payton4034</b> - the 11/21/2013 at 10:08pm<b>Linda_zlk</b> - the 11/12/2013 at 1:57am<b>vettvixen</b> - the 11/12/2013 at 1:46am<b>Takomari</b> - the 11/11/2013 at 10:30pm<b>Dthnte</b> - the 11/11/2013 at 7:33pm<b>dead_insects</b> - the 05/19/2013 at 1:48pm

Insane94's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

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Insane94's favorite FMLs

Today, I ran into my girlfriend by chance while out shopping. She looked different than usual. Maybe it was the wedding ring she was wearing, or how she had her arm around another gentleman, gee, I don't know. That's two years of my life wasted. FML

by wrecked / 06/09/2014 at 5:03pm / United States / Love

Today, I was taking a piss, when a mosquito came out of nowhere and headed straight for my dick. In my startled attempt to ward it away, I pissed all over everything, including myself. FML

by pissed off / 05/16/2014 at 8:33pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was eating an apple in class. When I went to take a big bite, my teeth went right through the apple, causing me to scrape the apple right up my face. My nose then started to bleed. I'm now known as the girl who punched herself in the face with an apple. FML

by Nose bleed / 04/15/2014 at 10:48pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Health

Today, my obsession with saying "your mom" reached a new level when my anatomy teacher asked what I did with my pencil. FML

by Motha / 04/09/2014 at 1:17am / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous

Today, my in-laws moved in. FML

by Great / 04/08/2014 at 9:42pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my husband to give our dog a bath while I was at work. When I returned home, I found my dog, along with my husband, in the bath together. FML

by lacy / 03/01/2014 at 3:23am / United States (Kentucky) / Animals

Today, I was at the mall with a couple of friends when we saw a couple of cute boys. I made eye contact with the cutest one. Flustered, I giggled, only to send a wad of snot flying out of my nose. FML

by Anonymous / 02/21/2014 at 9:47pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my husband how frisky I was feeling, and asked him what he was going to do about it. He reached into our fruit bowl, tossed me a banana and told me to work it out, then returned to his video game. FML

by Anonymous / 02/15/2014 at 5:44pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, in the very middle of the night, my kitten started rubbing against my face. Thinking I saw her face in the darkness, I decided to kiss her before going back to bed. My lips made contact with her butthole. FML

by Anonymous / 02/13/2014 at 10:20am / United States (Nevada) / Animals

Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't think he should marry me, because I have kids. They're his kids. FML

by Tara115 / 02/09/2014 at 2:20am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, while driving home, my 3-year-old daughter told me she had to poop. I told her that she would have to wait until we got home. When we got home, she pulled down her pants and shat on the floor, because, "I'm home now." FML

by mom / 01/25/2014 at 11:29pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, my husband decided to put different condiments on my body to make our sex better. I was thinking whipped cream; he was feeling ketchup. FML

by Anonymous / 01/25/2014 at 7:28am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I was taking a piss when a fly landed inside the urinal. I thought it would be funny to try to aim and pee on it until it flew away and I stupidly continued aiming, peeing all over the floor and the wall. Another man came in time to see it. FML

by Anonymous / 01/13/2014 at 2:34am / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous

Today, I used the restroom at a mall. I thought I was alone, so I started singing. When I got out of the stall, there were men staring at me. Not only did I embarrass myself with my own singing, I'd accidentally used the men's restroom too. FML

by Anonymous / 01/11/2014 at 7:26pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, my lips were dry and chapped, so I asked if I could use some of my friend's chapstick. She didn't mind, so I quickly put some on. Only later did I notice that my lips were sparkly. Turns out it was glitter balm. Now everyone calls me "princess." FML

by chapstick / 01/08/2014 at 10:23pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous