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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I slept in late and when I woke up, thought I was the only one in the house so I decided to walk around the corner to the only upstairs bathroom naked. My dad also slept in, also thought he was the only one in the house, and also decided to walk to the bathroom naked. We collided. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50094) - you deserved it (9422)
On 08/17/2009 at 9:50am - misc - by malebonding (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I literally stopped traffic. I was crossing the street and a butterfly landed on me. Being phobic of butterflies, I had a panic attack in the middle of the road. Oh, and I am 17, captain of our football team, and in very good shape. My girlfriend laughed the hardest. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31829) - you deserved it (15662)
On 08/14/2009 at 1:10pm - animals - by Butterflyguy (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, I found out my husband had bought my 1-year-old daughter a shirt that says "Birth Control Fail" in pink glittery letters. He even took her out in it while I was at work. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47870) - you deserved it (5205)
On 08/14/2009 at 12:57pm - kids - by ohgod (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Today, I told my boyfriend I was really horny. He then gave me the link to his favorite "porn". He said I should do it for him. It was a youtube video of some girl making a sandwich. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43537) - you deserved it (10408)
On 07/27/2009 at 1:06am - intimacy - by fmysexlife (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I fell asleep while lifeguarding, thinking I could get away with it due to my sunglasses. When I woke up, I saw my boss waving at me. Apparently she'd been trying to get my attention for five minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3688) - you deserved it (43137)
On 07/04/2009 at 11:24am - work - by Sleepy (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I went to the beach on the cote d'azur and the lifeguard told me that even though there were two jellyfish in the bay, it was safe to swim. Five minutes into swimming, I got stung twice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27779) - you deserved it (4546)
On 07/04/2009 at 8:10am - health - by michellekel (woman) - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was driving with a friend when we saw a wallet in the middle of his neighborhood road. When we picked it up, we saw it was loaded with cash. We drove to the mans house to return the wallet, and when we handed it to him he told us "I would give you a reward but I don't have any cash." FML
I agree, your life sucks (35606) - you deserved it (3598)
On 07/03/2009 at 10:19pm - misc - by Hayls5 (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I woke up and decided to get the morning paper, I went outside with my bath robe on and when I leaned down to get my paper my bath robe came undone. Apparently everyone on my street saw it and decided to bring up public nudity at the next neighborhood meeting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26428) - you deserved it (6497)
On 07/03/2009 at 4:13pm - misc - by Embarresedguy (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I went to announce to my son that I am pregnant again. After I told him, he looks up and yells: "fuck this shit!" and walks out of the room. My son is nine years old. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50763) - you deserved it (18616)
On 06/27/2009 at 12:05am - kids - by poormom (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I went to write "Happy Bday, I Love You" on my girlfriend's car windows to surprise her when she woke up. I was the one who got the surprise when I saw her, in her backseat, having sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60484) - you deserved it (2030)
On 06/24/2009 at 2:13am - intimacy - by anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my girlfriend and I were exchanging some naughty pictures. I accidentally sent one to everybody on my contacts, including my ex, my boss, and even Pizza Hut. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10707) - you deserved it (47125)
On 06/20/2009 at 3:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)
Today, I was at a pond taking pictures with my new camera. I saw a mama duck leading her babies around and decided to get in closer to take a picture. Mama duck got spooked and led her babies too close to a waterfall escaping. One fell off. It never surfaced. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15770) - you deserved it (36281)
On 06/20/2009 at 8:11am - misc - by DuckyKiller (woman) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I bought a new mailbox to replace the old one that was stolen. Two hours after I put the new mailbox up, the old one was back and the new one was missing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46527) - you deserved it (2104)
On 06/20/2009 at 2:01am - misc - by Dumbass - United States (Florida)
Today, my friend sent me a bumper sticker that said, "Do you know that gullible said slowly sounds like 'green bears'?" I spent quite a few minutes trying to get gullible to sound like green bears until I realized that it didn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7672) - you deserved it (43069)
On 06/20/2009 at 12:09am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, a little girl standing next to me on the train suddenly hugged me. I thought maybe she was sad or I reminded her of someone, and hugged her back. Then she smiled, squeezed my lovehandles, and said "Honk, honk!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (31840) - you deserved it (4514)
On 06/19/2009 at 1:48pm - kids - by squeezable (woman) - United States (New York)
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