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Imkrazy182

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Imkrazy182

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Imkrazy182's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out why my husband had wanted to wait until marriage to get it on. Last night was the first night of our honeymoon, and he informed me that he wasn't always Ben, but used to be Brenda. His 'penis' doesn't work and he had wanted to know I "truly loved him" before he had let me know. FML

#5148313
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (175246) - you deserved it (18013)

On 09/09/2009 at 1:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my husband asked me for permission to have an affair with his hot secretary. FML

#5086077
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70455) - you deserved it (6041)

On 09/06/2009 at 5:35pm - love - by mandinga (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I noticed my wife makes more satisfied groans when she's taking a big dump than she does when we make love. FML

#4992534
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22549) - you deserved it (6188)

On 09/02/2009 at 1:56am - intimacy - by turdburger (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was driving my little sister to school. She really didn't wanna go and was throwing a tantrum in the car. When we stopped at a red light, my sister notices a police man giving a ticket to another driver. She rolled down her window and screamed "Help me! I'm being kidnapped by a murderer!" FML

#4644829
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64530) - you deserved it (3010)

On 08/19/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by Amara1717 (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house while his plumbing was being redone. I really had to pee, but the toilet wasn't working, so I peed in his cat's litterbox. His cat got defensive, and started attacking me while I peed. My boyfriend walked in and saw the whole thing. FML

#4639027
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13989) - you deserved it (64326)

On 08/18/2009 at 9:13pm - love - by litterbox_girl (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was at a party and I really had to use the bathroom. There were 30-40 people talking outside the door, so I thought it would be ok to make some noise. Just as I'm about to begin having explosive diarrhea, everyone falls silent as my dad begins to pray for our meal. FML

#3882567
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45474) - you deserved it (4846)

On 07/19/2009 at 2:52pm - misc - by Churizmo - United States

Today, my friend told me that semen was inflammable. Later at night I jacked off into a sock and then, excitedly, tried to lit the sock on fire. Turns out, semen is very much not inflammable. Naked, I shook my sock in the air so it would extinguish while my semen splashed out all over my room. FML

#3262847
373 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8917) - you deserved it (114878)

On 06/27/2009 at 12:41am - intimacy - by notinflammable (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, at work, I decided to try and impress this girl walking behind me by holding the door open for her. As she was walking through, I inadvertently pulled the door too hard. It slammed against the wall and ricochet back, hitting her right in the face. FML

#2049243
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37267) - you deserved it (17811)

On 05/18/2009 at 1:25pm - misc - by poop (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my 6 year old daughter asked me, "what would happen to me if you and daddy died?". I told her that she'd probably live with her Uncle Ant and Aunt Ilene. She looked at me and said "You guys can die. I won't cry. I get everything I want over there." FML

#1551610
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (92463) - you deserved it (9060)

On 05/02/2009 at 4:12am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went to the doctor and found out that I am infertile. When I called my boyfriend of 2 years (whom I was hoping to have a future with) to talk to him about it, all he said was "So does this mean I don't have to wear a condom anymore?" FML

#1056544
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58049) - you deserved it (6639)

On 04/17/2009 at 2:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, my daughter's school was putting on a fashion show for charity and all the kids were supposed to ask their mothers to be in it. I asked my daughter about it and she said "well I was going to ask you, but they said only to 'ask all of your BEAUTIFUL mommies." FML

#873134
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67793) - you deserved it (3573)

On 04/08/2009 at 4:08pm - kids - by livay315 (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I ran to a public bathroom because of explosive diarrhea. In the middle of it, I noticed there was no more toilet paper nor paper towels remaining. The smallest bill in my wallet was a 5. I had to pay 10 dollars to wipe my own butt. FML

#741988
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86238) - you deserved it (17860)

On 04/01/2009 at 4:16am - misc - by highleyj (man) - United States (California)



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