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Imkrazy182

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Imkrazy182

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Imkrazy182's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out how mature the guy I'm seeing is. After sex, he took the condom off and hit me in the face with it. FML

#8889344
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27335) - you deserved it (5976)

On 03/07/2010 at 9:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, a drunk truck driver taught me a very valuable lesson: Never tie your shoelaces in the middle of a parking lot. FML

Today, my fiancé and I decided to engage in some erotic food play. She covered every region of my body, including my genitals, with strawberry sauce. Today also happens to be the day that I found out I'm allergic to strawberries. FML

#7070620
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20891) - you deserved it (3507)

On 01/01/2010 at 12:21am - intimacy - by welted (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I crossed a one-way street after looking for oncoming traffic only to be hit by a car driving in reverse. FML

#6975608
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31849) - you deserved it (4950)

On 12/27/2009 at 3:48pm - misc - by Davios - United States

Today, I have been stuck in the bathroom. Apparently, my 8 year old son decided to sneak in some TurboLax into the juice we left out for Santa. Well played son. FML

#6937557
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30677) - you deserved it (6912)

On 12/25/2009 at 11:15am - kids - by BathroomMuch (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had a police officer come to my house because I've been reported missing. My friends online decided to call the police because I haven't signed in for 6 days. FML

#6191568
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31713) - you deserved it (6017)

On 11/07/2009 at 1:55am - misc - by iheartvodka (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I got a call from the guy I have been seeing. I wasn't him. It was his wife wondering why I have her husband's number. FML

#6164155
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28313) - you deserved it (5831)

On 11/05/2009 at 5:12am - love - by scumbag (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had a terrible stomach bug. I quickly jumped off the toilet and crouched over the bowl. I vomited with such force that I splashed the shitty water back into my face. FML

#6086009
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42580) - you deserved it (5953)

On 10/31/2009 at 3:40pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

#5828114
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (87474) - you deserved it (14623)

On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend asked me out to dinner, which we never do. While at the restaurant he gets down on his knees, looks me in the eyes, and pulls out a little box. He opens it and inside is a note that says 'We're Done.' He then leaves me at the restaurant with the bill and the $2.00 box. FML

#5721676
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74793) - you deserved it (5487)

On 10/08/2009 at 3:04pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I learned to check inside the oven before you preheat it. Sometimes children hide their pet rabbit in there. FML

#5522422
332 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66689) - you deserved it (9014)

On 09/28/2009 at 3:15am - misc - by ripfluffy (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I went online to check my credit report. My credit report says that I am deceased, and have no rating. I'm at least 90% sure that this is not true. FML

#5419647
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36631) - you deserved it (2148)

On 09/22/2009 at 8:27pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that the reason I hadn't gotten pregnant yet was because my husband had a vasectomy after the birth of his son. He even had the nerve to continously tell me, "it'll happen soon, baby" and let me believe we were trying. FML

#5273221
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53011) - you deserved it (3413)

On 09/15/2009 at 2:18pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up at my crazy ex-girlfriend's house, naked and disoriented. You know, the kind of crazy like we-didn't-break-up-it-was-just-a-fight-now-we-can-get-married crazy. She says everything's fine now and she's so glad we've "started our family." FML

#5165059
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45722) - you deserved it (15108)

On 09/10/2009 at 6:55am - misc - by drugged_on_arrival (man) - Virgin Islands British



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