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Imkrazy182

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Imkrazy182

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Imkrazy182's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I broke up, and he came by to get his things while I was at work. When I got home I saw that the only thing he had taken was my cat. I only dated him for 5 months, I've had that cat for 14 years. FML

#14078710
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33592) - you deserved it (3277)

On 12/04/2010 at 12:20am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend was making salsa and got jalepeno juice all over his mouth. A little bit later, he started going down me. He hadn't washed his mouth. FML

#14074806
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36834) - you deserved it (5148)

On 12/03/2010 at 7:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. He got on the bed on all fours and crawled towards me, saying "My precious... my precious" in Gollum's voice. FML

#13782516
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38227) - you deserved it (6916)

On 11/09/2010 at 9:10pm - intimacy - by single (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my cat learned how to flush the toilet while I was in the shower. His transformation from cute kitten to pure evil entity is now complete. FML

#13762266
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31135) - you deserved it (5284)

On 11/08/2010 at 5:55am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Turkey (Istanbul)

Today, a girl I like came over to my house because I'd promised to help her prepare for a maths test. My mom thought it would be funny to put a stack of porn magazines and handcuffs on the table in my room when I went to open the door. FML

#13673921
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32589) - you deserved it (3830)

On 11/01/2010 at 11:10am - intimacy - by crazy_mom (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I got into a car accident. While getting my things out of the car to bring into the tow truck, I noticed the handcuffs from my Halloween costume were still in the trunk. The tow truck driver noticed before I did, because he smiled, winked, and asked if I needed any more help. FML

#13665915
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21066) - you deserved it (4723)

On 10/31/2010 at 5:27pm - intimacy - by jo1429 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she didnt want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML

#13661699
373 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62989) - you deserved it (8994)

On 10/31/2010 at 9:30am - intimacy - by Tai - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex for the first time. While we were undressing each other, he said, "Wow, if we have children, you're gonna have to shave, or they'll die from rug-burn as they come out!" FML

#13654098
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34839) - you deserved it (27696)

On 10/30/2010 at 8:37pm - intimacy - by tht1chk - United States (California)

Today, while my boyfriend and I were fighting in the car, I paused to take a bite of my burrito. Just at that moment, he slammed on the brakes, causing me to deepthroat my burrito. I threw up all over myself. He won the argument. FML

#13648057
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28863) - you deserved it (7990)

On 10/30/2010 at 9:40am - love - by serendipity1027 - Sent from mobile version

Today, my mother got remarried. I am now officially older than my step-father. FML

#13646131
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45214) - you deserved it (2706)

On 10/30/2010 at 2:33am - love - by Stephie2009 - United States

Today, my boyfriend got mugged. I found out because the mugger had the courtesy to ring me, after I texted several times asking where he was, to say "He won't reply. He got robbed." FML

#13634930
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29880) - you deserved it (2753)

On 10/29/2010 at 2:12am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I decided to let in my new German Shepherd puppy inside to show the guest how adorable he is. In the middle of our conversation, he came running up to us with my vibrator in his mouth. FML

#13611565
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24006) - you deserved it (13159)

On 10/27/2010 at 3:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I was rejected by a girl when she told me she is not ready to date. We met on a dating website. FML

#13601859
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29093) - you deserved it (4023)

On 10/26/2010 at 12:55pm - love - by WTF - United States (Kansas)

Today, I found out I received a "D" on my ethics exam, not because I did not know the information or did not follow the correct guidelines for writing the moral arguments, but because according to my professor my moral values are wrong. FML

Today, I had a date with a guy I've had a crush on for 6 years. Things got heated when we got back to his place, but he had trouble getting the condom on. As soon he got it on, he came. I told him it was ok, I'd help him get hard again. He said, "No thanks. I'm good." FML

#13601704
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34573) - you deserved it (4065)

On 10/26/2010 at 12:37pm - intimacy - by Deidle-dee - United States



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