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Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
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Today, a girl I like came over to my house because I'd promised to help her prepare for a maths test. My mom thought it would be funny to put a stack of porn magazines and handcuffs on the table in my room when I went to open the door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27022) - you deserved it (2981)
On 11/01/2010 at 11:10am - intimacy - by crazy_mom (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I got into a car accident. While getting my things out of the car to bring into the tow truck, I noticed the handcuffs from my Halloween costume were still in the trunk. The tow truck driver noticed before I did, because he smiled, winked, and asked if I needed any more help. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16005) - you deserved it (3709)
On 10/31/2010 at 5:27pm - intimacy - by jo1429 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she didnt want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. Shes on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53853) - you deserved it (7018)
On 10/31/2010 at 9:30am - intimacy - by Tai - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex for the first time. While we were undressing each other, he said, "Wow, if we have children, you're gonna have to shave, or they'll die from rug-burn as they come out!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (28554) - you deserved it (20845)
On 10/30/2010 at 8:37pm - intimacy - by tht1chk - United States (California)
Today, while my boyfriend and I were fighting in the car, I paused to take a bite of my burrito. Just at that moment, he slammed on the brakes, causing me to deepthroat my burrito. I threw up all over myself. He won the argument. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22891) - you deserved it (6145)
On 10/30/2010 at 9:40am - love - by serendipity1027 - Sent from mobile version
Today, my mother got remarried. I am now officially older than my step-father. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38501) - you deserved it (2057)
On 10/30/2010 at 2:33am - love - by Stephie2009 - United States
Today, my boyfriend got mugged. I found out because the mugger had the courtesy to ring me, after I texted several times asking where he was, to say "He won't reply. He got robbed." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23823) - you deserved it (2050)
On 10/29/2010 at 2:12am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)
Today, I decided to let in my new German Shepherd puppy inside to show the guest how adorable he is. In the middle of our conversation, he came running up to us with my vibrator in his mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19238) - you deserved it (11076)
On 10/27/2010 at 3:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Hawaii)
Today, I was rejected by a girl when she told me she is not ready to date. We met on a dating website. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24333) - you deserved it (3620)
On 10/26/2010 at 12:55pm - love - by WTF - United States (Kansas)
Today, I found out I received a "D" on my ethics exam, not because I did not know the information or did not follow the correct guidelines for writing the moral arguments, but because according to my professor my moral values are wrong. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21825) - you deserved it (2578)
On 10/26/2010 at 12:49pm - misc - by ecuboy (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I had a date with a guy I've had a crush on for 6 years. Things got heated when we got back to his place, but he had trouble getting the condom on. As soon he got it on, he came. I told him it was ok, I'd help him get hard again. He said, "No thanks. I'm good." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28083) - you deserved it (2972)
On 10/26/2010 at 12:37pm - intimacy - by Deidle-dee - United States
Today, I found out that the only way to get my boyfriend to last more than one minute in the sack is to let him watch cartoons while we do it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22558) - you deserved it (2843)
On 10/25/2010 at 3:05pm - intimacy - by shiznit - United States (Florida)
Today, my girlfriend and my parents staged an intervention, and have asked me to go to rehab. What they want me to go to rehab for? World of Warcraft. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7747) - you deserved it (49321)
On 10/25/2010 at 11:06am - misc - by leve80paladin (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was having the most wonderful bath. The water was steaming, the bubbles were bubbly, and I was reading a really good book. I put my book down to yawn and looked to my right. My gaze was met by the lovely face of my brother's pet tarantula. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27152) - you deserved it (2481)
On 10/24/2010 at 8:21am - misc - by mzgabbster (woman) - United States (Utah)
Today, my girlfriend came over to me, like she was going to kiss me, and instead rubbed her chin all over my face, exclaiming, "Can you feel my beard coming in?" Yes, yes I could. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30571) - you deserved it (2846)
On 10/24/2010 at 12:11am - love - by altocrm - Sent from mobile version
Monday 17 June 2013
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